This is either the most dangerous way to descend a hill or the coolest Storm Shadow episode of G.I. Joe ever.

By way of Buzzfeed comes fashion photographer and filmmaker Jacob Sutton’s L.E.D. Surfer, a short film about how the pitch blackness of night and having the brightest possible lights shined in your eyes somehow don’t make snowboarding impossible. Seriously, if I was the L.E.D. Surfer the first twenty seconds of the video would be me going OH GOD OH GOD OH MY GOD and zipping lights-first into the first tree.

Anyway, the result of Sutton’s experiment is undeniably beautiful (thanks in part to haunting piano music that could make going to the bathroom ethereal) and really pretty geeky when you think about it. It’s like you’re watching the X-Games through the eyes of Neo from The Matrix.

I can’t wait for Sutton’s next project, where he puts police sirens on a guy with no legs and sends him down a waterfall to Sigur Rós.

Not counting the Pam Anderson sex tape, at least.

What you’re witnessing is either the first-ever 100.0 perfect score in the history of WXG Superpipe, or Shaun White reaching an X Games killscreen. Update: I can’t figure out whether or not his hair is worse than his pants, but White is basically as good at this as a person can be at something.

Even with a bum ankle, Shaun White still dominated the competition in Superpipe at the 2012 X Games, winning his fifth-straight gold medal in the event. White scored a 94.00 on his first run, wrapping up the gold before his third and final run of the night.

But on his final run, White didn’t just ride it out. Instead, he scored a perfect 100, finishing off the X Games in style. Not a bad way for the Superpipe champ to go out at this year’s event.

Also great about this video: The Cavs won!

Does anybody know where I can find a superpipe? I want to give this a try, and see what score the judges give me for sitting on the edge with a nervous look on my face for like twenty minutes before sliding down the ramp on my ass and breaking both of my legs.

[h/t Fark Sports]

While I was busy feeding orphaned tiger cubs with my philanthropy group, Hunks Without Borders, San Diego played host to the “Red Bull: New Year. No Limits.” daredevil showcase on New Year’s Eve. The event was a huge success for many reasons, if your thing is watching people ride motorcycles and snowmobiles really fast and far, but the main reason was that riders Robbie “Maddo” Maddison and Levi LaVallee, which is coincidentally my sister’s porn name, both set world records for the longest jumps.

Madison broke his own world record of 351 feet by jumping his motorcycle 378 feet and 9 inches, while LaVallee also broke his own world record of 361 feet by jumping his snowmobile 412 feet and 6 inches. And to make it even more extreme, wicked, rad and whatever else the hip kids are saying these days, they did it at the same time. I bet that’s not the only thing they did at the same time that night… *whispers* your mom.

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I don't want to know what he's planning to do with that.

Quick, name the last person you’d like to see in a sex tape.

Did you say Carrot Top? It’s a statistical fact that when pressed with this question, 70% of Americans say Carrot Top. And, uh, this is the second worst.

A butt naked Shaun White smiled for the camera … while messing around on a bed with a hot naked lady back in 2009 … and now the X-rated photos are being shopped around town … TMZ has learned.

Sources tell TMZ … the photos were taken at a hotel party … a short time before The Flying Tomato won a gold medal at the 2009 Winter X-Games for Superpipe (haha … superpipe).

The “haha” aside and the landslide of ellipses are theirs, not mine. Or, as TMZ would write it,

The “haha” aside … and the landslide of ellipses … are theirs … not mine … TMZ has learned.

In all seriousness, this scandal threatens to shake the snowboarding, extreme sports, niche-video-games-when-1080-Snowboarding-isn’t-out and boys-t-shirt-racks-at-Target worlds to their foundations. Now instead of knowing him as “that one snowboarder”, everyone will know him as that one snowboarder who we had to see naked. At least this is great news for those weird girls who read Harry Potter and attach themselves to Ron.

At times like this, we can only take a step back and remember that pro athletes are only human, and thank God that Tony Hawk was popular before digital cameras were a thing.

[via ... TMZ]

On October 1, a group of 25 adventure-loving maniacs from Switzerland set out to accomplish their most death-defying feat to date. They wanted to descend upon the Gueuroz Bridge, a 613-foot-high construction that was once the highest in all of Europe, and create a spinning jacuzzi to hang from it. That’s it, that’s their dream adventure. The Swiss are weird, man.

So what the hell goes into dangling a hot tub built for two dozen people 450-feet over a river?

Several teams had different task. Some were pre-heating the water on top of the bridge using the 3 gas burners we had used for the jaccuzzi on top of Mont Banc); others lowered all the parts necessary to built the platform 130 feet below the bridge; others still were hanging low down and assembling the platform and setting up the hot tub with its gas burner to keep the water at 100°F; while others prepared the rappelling lines for all participants; in short, everybody helped so that 4.5 hours later the first person could jump in the water with a breath taking view. Six hours later the last person came out of the water and at 6:00 pm everything was back on the trailers to get back to Lausanne where we enjoyed a fantastic raclette at Jan’s place.

(Via)

Raclette at Jan’s place and I didn’t even get a call? I thought we were cool, Swiss adventurers.

This group has actually been organizing extreme hot tub adventures for the better part of a decade, with their ultimate feat having taken place on the summit of Mont Blanc. In related news, I once jumped off my friend’s roof into his swimming pool and it was totally righteous, dude.

Check out the glorious details of this latest adventure in pictures after the jump. WARNING: Not conducive for people with fears of extreme heights or effort.

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This year’s X-Games added something called the “Moto X Enduro Women’s Division”, and on paper it sounds pretty cool. Women’s motocross could be awesome, right? Like when female skiers take off their helmets and they look like a hot, athletic Peppermint Patty with a labret piercing. Well, uh, the actual Moto X Enduro Whatever didn’t happen on paper, it happened on a big hill, and then on some rocks, and then down the side of a different hill. For some reason these women appeared to have NO F**KING CLUE what they were supposed to do and just crashed motorcycles everywhere. These are the highlights. The highlights. I don’t even know what they’re doing at some points. Why are you driving on those rocks?

Spencer Hall over at SB Nation has two workable theories, and I can’t come up with anything that sounds better.

The first is that the executives at ESPN are sexist 4chan commenters in disguise, and paid a group of retired ladies to don motorcycle helmets and bumble through this course while watching on the internet and laughing until they died. The other is that every woman here was required to get blind drunk before starting, and then do her best.

Here’s a link to the event set to Wacky Sax, in case the cold silence of humiliation wasn’t hilarious enough.