Shaun White is a rock star. He’s 26-years old, a global snowboarding icon, gold medalist and worth millions upon millions of dollars. He’s even been known to trash a hotel room, an act which got him his first-ever shred of negative attention back in September, and people barely ever talked about it. Why didn’t anyone care? Because when you’re a young, long-haired “extreme” athlete, people expect you to be wasted, cause ruckus in a hotel, pull fire alarms and get punched while trying to escape. That’s the gosh-darned American celebrity way of life right there.

Oh, and the other reason nobody really talked about it? Because everyone was still so busy freaking out over the rumors from the 2012 Summer Olympics regarding White dating super duper model Bar Refaeli. Seriously, people were going nuts over that, like, “How the hell is that gorgeous super model dating that redheaded dude?” as if he was the real life version of Rocky Dennis. Gee, I sure do wonder why that gorgeous woman was attracted to the young, famous, wealthy, confident millionaire. Some mysteries were just meant to never be solved.

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Let’s rock.

Each week, Sports On TV looks at the 20 (or so) greatest sports-related moments from television shows that aren’t always about sports. This week we tackle the low-brow 1987-97 FOX classic ‘Married… With Children’, and honestly, it’s the closest we’ve come to saying f**k it and just writing about sports shows. MWC featured more sports moments and guest appearances than almost any other sitcom, and even featured a sports moments clip-show in the middle of its 10th season. Instead of just finding that on YouTube and posting it here, we’ve put together our own list.

The entire run of ‘Married…’ is currently streaming on Netflix, so if you read about Al Bundy punching a heavyset lady in the stomach or beating a bunch of old people at track and field and want to check it out, you can do so there. If our top 20 didn’t feature your favorite moment, be sure to drop down into the comments section and let us know what we missed.

But for now, enjoy the 20 greatest sports moments from ‘Married… With Children’. Let’s get the greatest moment in television history out of the way first …

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What you’re watching is the latest video from the confrontationally-capitalized talkSPORT Magazine. “People Are Awesome” (Sports Edition) compiles some of the best videos of humans being “pretty bloody good at sport” and is a great way to spend five minutes of your holiday-weekend Friday afternoon. Your jaw’s guaranteed to drop at least once or twice.

The only problem is that about 10 seconds in the video compromises its integrity by throwing in an Evan Longoria Gillette commercial, causing me (and most people, I’m assuming) to spend the rest of the video trying to figure out what’s real and what isn’t. The parkour stuff looks real. The hip-hop dog at the end isn’t real no matter what the YouTube description says. Enya dubstep remixes? Definitely real.

Check that out and draw your own conclusions. If you like it, the original full-length “People Are Awesome” (80% Powerade Commercials And Us Being Trick By Things Edition) is after the jump.

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This video of motocross jumpers doing tricks over live MMA fights from last weekend’s ‘Backflips And Beatdowns 2′ event in Billings, Montana, is making the rounds today, and while there isn’t much to say other than “lol what is this dumb sh*t why is it happening” I thought I’d put together some helpful suggestions to make ‘Backflips And Beatdowns 3′ (date TBA) a little more engaging:

1. Have pro skateboarders grind the top of the cage while MMA fights are happening and motocross guys are jumping over them. “Powerman 5000 – When Worlds Collide” would make this especially awesome.

2. Rig the bikes so the exhaust sprays Baja Blast Mountain Dew on the fighters as it backflips. That’s probably a little degrading to the guys in the octagon, but these guys are cagefighting under the Montana X-Games so f**k them.

3. Fire hoops a’plenty.

4. Allow public masturbation, but only during the coolest parts. So, public masturbation from beginning to end. Suggestion 4B) Call the event ‘Backflips And Beatdowns And Beatoffs’.

5. Eliminate the landing ramp. Have riders jump directly into the cage, where they then have to fight their way out. Twist: The cage does not have doors.

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I didn’t learn how to ride a bike until I was 12. A few weeks later I hit the curb wrong, flipped over my handlebars and landed in a ditch full of rocks. ‘Andrew Dickey – Black Bike Vol. 1′ is the exact opposite of that.

Parkour is cool, but only when you’re a fleeing thief being chased by a karate action star or someone buff enough to shoulderblock through freestanding walls. Bicycle parkour, courtesy of our friends at Buzzfeed, amps that coolness up significantly by having someone do parkour with a wonky metal frame pressed against their crotch. Somehow it’s not just a bunch of clips of people falling and hurting themselves, and is instead one of the most impressive four minutes of non-Japanese game show bike athleticism and dexterity ever captured on film. I mean, unless you know somebody else who can climb a building on a bike. I can’t even navigate the rock ditch without almost killing myself.

My only disappointment is that when he biked up onto the Storage King delivery truck (pictured), a little fat guy with a crown and a staff didn’t rush out from the building and chase him away.

[h/t and total agreement in headline to Matt Ufford]

This video makes Anton Ego remember what snowboarding was like when he was little.

Meet Ratatouille…not only a snowboarding opossum but the world’s greatest snowboarding opossum! Watch him as he tears up the slopes on his Burton Riglet Snowboard! Rock on opossum…rock on!

As seen on The Today Show, Good Morning America, and Sportscenter Top 10!

(via Liberty Mountain Resort)

Possum. Big, freaky, lookin’ bitch. Since when did they change it to opossum? When I was comin’ up it was just possum. Opossum makes it sound like he’s irish or something. Why do they gotta go changing everything?

In all seriousness, the fact that Ratatouille is snowboarding isn’t as awesome as the fact that he’s an opossum in a sweater and an ID lanyard. The “Mah Nà Mah Nà” remix is a nice touch. Maybe he’s not a real opossum at all, and Jim Henson is under him somewhere pulling the strings.

[h/t Weed Against Speed]