While most 7-month old babies are still trying to understand colors, shapes, people and why Miley Cyrus was named the hottest woman in the world by Maxim, an Australian boy named Ryder is already well on his way to becoming the next great water skiing champion. And sure, I have no clue if water skiing even has champions, but it’s just nice to see some parents being proactive in their baby’s development and not doing stupid things like “waiting for him to grow up” before introducing him to extreme sports.

Now, some people obviously disagree with someone as young as Ryder being placed on a makeshift set of water skis while his father pulls him through shallow water as a means of introducing him to the basics of water skiing. Those people cite silly things like “logic” and “common sense” and “child endangerment” and “life-threatening conditions” while arguing that a 7-month old shouldn’t be water skiing.

But those critics and backseat parents will all eat their words in two years when this kid is dating Madonna.

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What the what.

This video features Adrienn Banhegyi.
She performs with Cirque de Soleil, and holds two world records for jump roping!

What you’re about to witness is the most ridiculous display of jump roping I’ve ever seen. Adrienn is advertised as JUMP ROPE GIRL – WORLD’S BEST JUMP ROPER, and I’m not going to argue. She jumps rope on location in Budapest, Hungary, and some of the stuff she does is so fast and complex you have to rewind to catch it. I didn’t know you could throw around the jump rope while jumping rope and still keep jumping rope. I don’t even know how to phrase “jumping rope” properly. SHE JUMPS THE SHIT OUT OF SOME ROPE

Here is your new athletic overlord:

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Lobster Dog practices safe parachuting by wearing head gear. Douche Dog does not.

Every few years, a friend of mine will have a “milestone” birthday, which is another way for people to say, “Hey, I’m older than 30 and would like you to pretend like birthdays still matter”, and without fail there is always one guy who wants to go skydiving. Now, I have never accepted an invitation to do this, because I have a short list of things that I would not like to do, including:

• Wrestle alligators
• Be shot
• Go to prison
• Jump out of an airplane that is in the sky, high above the very hard ground

And there are a few others, but they’re much more graphic and will give people nightmares. But that last one – jumping out of an airplane – is a good one because whenever I tell people that I don’t want to try skydiving, someone always responds, “Don’t be a sissy, bro.” Yesterday, though, a 51-year old man in California helped prove why I am fine with being called a sissy.

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In the spirit of September’s rope swing fail comes THE EXACT OPPOSITE. A bunch of crazy people take a length of rope, a video camera, some dogs and a gross of woolen hats out to a canyon and start rope swinging around in it. Crazy. Make sure to watch for the guy who tries to tight-rope across the canyon and OH MY GOD. (via DOTD)

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Links

Pod Pods Pod: The Boy Meets World Podcast Episode 7 (featuring Brandon Stroud) |Trough Network|

G.I. Jose — ‘A Real Mexican Hero’ — Is Real And His Van Is Glorious |UPROXX|

News Anchors Saying The Name Of 9-Year-Old Rapper Lil Poopy Is Never Not Funny |Warming Glow|

“We Saw Your Junk” gives Seth MacFarlane’s Boobs song a sex change |Film Drunk|

Here’s An 11-Year Old’s Ski Jump Fail, Because We’re Awful People |With Leather|

20 ‘Street Fighter’ GIFs To Dragon Punch Your Day |Gamma Squad|

Ever Hear The Story Of When Freddie Gibbs Met Michael Jackson? |Smoking Section|

This Week In F–k You: Onion CEO Steve Hannah |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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WARNING: This clip may or may not be of a fatal accident. A commenter on Reddit referred to it as such, but that comment hasn’t been verified, and really all the video shows is the impending terror at the end of a really, really bad idea. It could be an AT&T commercial, because The Internet. So, viewer discretion, just in case.

If you’ve never gone Zorbing, it’s basically getting inside of a giant hamster ball and having people roll you downhill. It’s like the extreme sports equivalent of Beavis and Butthead rolling around in a junkyard tire. It’s harmless, too … unless you’re Zorbing just to the right of a f**king mountain cliffside. That, I guess, is Russian Zorbing.

As you can see, the idea is to roll from point A to point B while your friends tape it and chuckle. Something goes wrong at the bottom, and the guy in the Zorb keeps drifting left, and PLUMMETS DOWN THE MOUNTAIN. I wouldn’t post this if it was a clear-cut video of somebody dying, but: a) if your friend died and you taped it, why would you upload it to YouTube? And b) there’s a pretty dramatic cut between when he initially rolls the wrong way, and when the camera “catches up” and sees him bouncing down.

So who knows? Right now my call is “exaggerated YouTube thing” with nightmare rights reserved. Just … try not to ever go Zorbing, okay?

[h/t to The Daily What]

I don't want to know what he's planning to do with that.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being the editor-in-chief of a sports comedy blog, it’s that dating a supermodel can be rough on your hair. Remember when Tom Brady hooked up with Gisele Bundchen and his hair started getting weird, and how even now he’ll show up to random charity events with spit-curl fauxhawks? Well, Shaun White is next.

As you may know from our constant groaning about it, Only Snowboarder Anybody Can Name Shaun White is dating supermodel Bar Refaeli. To prove my SUPERMODELS HATE WHATEVER HAIR YOU HAVE WHEN THEY MEET YOU theory, Bar orchestrated the shearing of Shaun’s signature “Flying Tomato” hair, instantly transforming him from DANGEROUS EXTREME SPORTS REBEL into … well, he kinda looks like Clay Aiken.

Check it out for yourself:

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