I think this commercial works best if you go into it blind. It’s like the Cabin In The Woods of commercials. Watch it, experience it, then continue reading.

All good? So yeah, that’s UFC heavyweight Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in a Brazilian motorcycle ad, and while my Portuguese is a little rusty, I’m going to say the point of it was, “you don’t feel masculine enough, so go buy a Honda, it will make strippers sit on you near a ring of metal and fire”. This is a great ad, because that is exactly what Honda motorcycles do.

It’s all in good fun, but I’ve got to be honest … that scene of Big Nog in nothing but shorts, rubbing lotion on the back of gloves reminded me a little too much of The Silence Of The Lambs. Maybe buying a Honda keeps you from tucking and dancing around to Q Lazzarus?

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Douchedog says, "Sweet bike, brah."

As most of England and Ireland will be celebrating Bank Holiday this weekend (Ed. – No clue) a group of British daredevils will be introducing the world to a brand new sport – stuntbike football. Now before you ask how the riders will be able to stay on their bikes while wearing pads, remember that our friends across the Atlantic Ocean use football as a term for soccer. Haha, cultural differences!

Anywho, the sport’s pretty simple, in that riders use their legs to kick one of those giant Swiss balls around a paved court, ultimately trying to score by putting the ball into a soccer goal. This is clearly the sport of kings for anyone who has ever bought a motorcycle and thought, “How can I combine my love of taking sharp turns at sporadic speeds with my desire to use only one leg while driving?”

Don’t forget to sign your disavowal of blame waivers, BBC (with doucherrific video):

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