Perhaps we jumped the gun a little when it was reported that Mario Balotelli – just one day after Italy lost to Spain in the Euro 2012 Final – was ready to embrace his role as a proud daddy when his ex-girlfriend Raffaella Fico announced that she was pregnant with his baby. After all, it would require a great deal of certainty on his part that the child is indeed his, as they’d been broken up for a few months. Also, she didn’t announce it, so much as she sold the story to tabloids.

Plus, he’s only 21-years old, incredibly wealthy, and one of the most famous soccer superstars on the planet. So yeah, on second thought, he’d like to see a paternity test first.

But today he said in statement that he would only ”accept full responsibility” for the baby after a DNA test proved he was the father.

”I will accept full responsibility after a paternity test. I don’t really want to speak publicly about my private life but I find that I have to explain once and for all, the nature of my relationship with Raffaella Fico.” (Via the Sun)

Well that’s a very mature and reasonable way of looking at it. What’s that, he’s not done? Okay, well go right on, Mario.

Read the rest of this entry »

Italy may have had its meatballs snipped off by Spain with a 4-0 loss in the Euro 2012 Final, but that doesn’t mean it’s all misery and depression for Mario Balotelli and Co. In fact, for Italy’s star player, today is filled with nothing but good news, as he has rekindled his failed love affair with soccer WAG Raffaella Fico. So what’d it take to bring these two lovebirds back together? An unexpected pregnancy. Hooray, cupid!

Fico told the gossip rags that she used a pregnancy test to confirm her expectations and she let Balotelli in on the news over the weekend. And it’s really nice to see that Balotelli is manning up and taking responsibility. Hopefully, this time he won’t allegedly cheat on Fico with an expensive English prostitute 5 times, after Wayne Rooney also allegedly had a fling with her.

But if Balotelli can get over everyone reminding him that Fico is just Cristiano Ronaldo’s sloppy seconds, then he can get through anything. After all, it must be pretty hard to say no to this woman.

Read the rest of this entry »

His words, not mine.

The first thing you need to know (and if you care, you probably already know) is that Spain skunked Italy 4-0 on Sunday, winning the Euro 2012 trophy and establishing themselves as one of the best soccer teams ever.

In doing so the Spanish also established a record three tournament victories in a row having also triumphed at Euro 2008 and the 2010 World Cup.

We may be witnessing the greatest team in football history, one that threatens to put the Brazilians in the shade. (via The Sun)

The second thing is that part of “success” sounds like “sex”, so when you’re excited and trying to spit out out, you occasionally boast about how Spain’s national team has tons and tons of sex. That’s what happened to BBC’s Alan Shearer, and though he quickly corrected himself I’m moving forward with the image of Spain (as a whole) plowing women so thoroughly and effectively that the British guy in the background just kinda makes an impressed face and gives a thumbs up.

The Freudian slip is blow.

Sorry, below.

Read the rest of this entry »

England and Ukraine will face off against each other at 2:45 ET on ESPN today in a match to determine which of the two teams will advance from Group D at the Euro 2012 tournament. England seems to be the favored team, as Ukraine’s top player and captain Adriy Shevchenko is all banged up. I don’t know what happened to Shevchenko, so I’ll assume that he was attacked by some of the stray dogs that have overrun his country.

As for England’s hopes, a lot of the attention today will be focused on the return of Wayne Rooney, who was suspended for England’s first two Euro matches for what I believe soccer experts call “being a big ol’ doody head”. Regardless of how he plays today and all of the ridiculous things he’s said in the past about his own fans, it seems that people still love the guy, because they’re willing to drop more than $90,000 (so far) on his custom motorcycle.

Read the rest of this entry »

Euro 2012′s got all the hottest dance moves. (via Daily What)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

We Saw GZA Perform All Of Liquid Swords Last Night — Here Are The Photos To Prove It |UPROXX|

6 Sci-Fi Foods That Look Worth a Try |Gamma Squad|

The Best Quotes from Positive Reviews of Adam Sandler’s That’s My Boy |Film Drunk|

Jest Kills It With ‘LeBron James Home Movies’ |With Leather|

On Rihanna’s Bedroom Wizardry & Its Three Truths |Smoking Section|

TV GIFs of the Week |Warming Glow|

‘Corgi Rae Jepsen’ Performs The Best Cover Of Carly Rae Jepson’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ You’ll Ever Hear Or See |UPROXX|

10 ‘Highdeas’ and Questions People Have Had About Music When They Were Stoned |UPROXX|

R. Kelly’s Debut Closed With An Undeniable Classic |Smoking Section|

Prometheus Behind-The-Scenes Photos: The Engineer Goes for a Swim |Film Drunk|

Paulina Gretzky Makes The Stanley Cup A Billion Times Better |With Leather|

Three Scientific Discoveries That Make Finding Alien Life Inevitable |Gamma Squad|

All the Instances of the ‘Daybreak’ Hum on ‘Community’ |Warming Glow|

Read the rest of this entry »

While most parody Twitter accounts simply bring us incredibly accurate portrayals of NFL quarterbacks, an account dedicated to Italian striker Mario Balotelli actually helped spread a friendly reminder earlier this morning to aspiring European soccer hooligans. In a recent interview, Balotelli said that if any fans get out of hand and downright racist toward him at next month’s Euro 2012 tournament, he will kill them.

Plain and simple.

“I will not accept racism at all,” Balotelli, who was abused by Juventus and Roma fans while playing for Inter Milan in 2009, told France Football magazine.

“If someone throws a banana at me in the street, I will go to jail because I will kill them,” he added, referring to an incident in Rome when someone threw a banana at him in a bar.

“It was lucky the police arrived quickly because I swear, I would have beaten them. I would really have destroyed them.

“I hope it never happens again.” (Via Reuters India)

UEFA officials, in unison with Polish and Ukrainian leaders, have assured Euro 2012 fans that the tournament will be free of racism and hatred, despite the recent reminders that some European soccer fans like to wave Nazi flags at soccer games. But Balotelli and other players that have faced racist taunts and chants aren’t quite buying it.

I think the best solution for Balotelli would be to train Ukraine’s stray dogs to sniff out and destroy racist soccer fans. If anything, it would make for one hell of a Pixar movie after the tournament.

Read the rest of this entry »