This video has been around the block but it combines my two favorite things: bowling and nut shots. Also, it's Sunday morning and Uncle KD has a little headache and is having a difficult time not letting his typing look like dictation from Yoda, so enjoy:
From Thursday's match between Tottenham and Anorthosis Famagusta:
It appears that 100,000 Spurs fans are cheering this lad for doing something naughty, but, when I nailed that Little League umpire in the junk with a baseball, I get taken to jail on assault with a deadly weapon charge. Sure, it was this summer, but it was all in fun. And by "in fun", I mean "on purpose" because his tight strike zone was costing me money. -KD
I'll be honest with you, 'shuttlecock' is one of my favorite words. It adheres the Krusty the Clown principle that words which sound dirty (like mukluk) are funnier than actual dirty words. Plus, 'shuttlecock' sounds like a much sexier version of the shuttle run. If only I could have bested the other lads in the shuttlecock while competing in the President's Physical Fitness test. Then my lovely gym teacher, Sister Dominique, would have taken notice of me. Or joined me in the shuttlecock.
I think this video proves what George Carlin said about tennis and other racket sports: that they are trendy, fruity sports that are played by trendy fruits. And they are funny. Anyway, does anyone remember the joke about the sexy French maid who left the tasteless mint on the well-endowed male guest's pillow? I know the punchline is "you don't use a pillow with bad mint on – you need a shuttlecock!", but I think I told it wrong because my date threw a drink in my face. -KD
This video has probably made the rounds, but I'm posting it anyway because I've received so many calls and emails from gloating Tigers fans. Sure, your team made it to the World Series last year, and then they succumbed to a squad with only 83 regular season wins – Kudos!
That appears to be Detroit's Craig Monroe deflecting an inside pitch with his codpiece from Chicago's crafty Cuban, Jose Contreras. I can only assume that this was last season for Craig would've swung and missed at this offering this year. Enjoy the Twins vs. Tigers on Sunday Night Baseball, and look tomorrow for the Chief's analysis of Seattle Mariner skipper Mike Hargrove's resignation. I'm sure he's devastated . . . from all the celebratory cocktails. See you in Saint Andrew's Net – have a sexy holiday week! -KD
LaRon Landry didn't participate in minicamp practice yesterday:
A paintball shot in the groin left rookie LaRon Landry unable to practice when the Washington Redskins opened their minicamp Friday. The No. 6 overall pick in this year's draft was injured during a team-building outing Wednesday, when coach Joe Gibbs allowed the players to leave early at the end of the voluntary spring workouts. Some players went bowling or had lunch together, while many of the defensive players went to play paintball.
Remember when rookies just had to stand atop the lunch tables and serenade the veteran players while they ate. Now they're taking paintball shots to their special area? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised as hazing techniques have become much harsher over the years. Once upon a time, when I finished my first work week at a certain state-sponsored fried chicken fast-food eatery, I was required to slide across the grease covered kitchen floor while holding a 20 lb. cube of lard over my head as the veteran cooks bowled frozen birds at me. It was all in good fun, and the aroma dissipated after a few months. I've heard that now they dunk newcomers' heads into the pressure cookers. Oh well, I guess that builds teamwork just as much as shooting projectiles at each other's junk. -KD
Usually Little League managers have difficulty explaining the terms 'sacrifice bunt' and 'taking one for the team' to the lads, but I don't think that will be a problem on this team:
I know that I've said before that this is the essence of comedy, but I felt a lump in my throat after I first watched this. But it could have been because I was choking with laughter. -KD
(Two free drinks for Simon On Sports.)
