It’s not really surprising to hear Stephen A. Smith call LeBron James “nigga” in the middle of a rant about how LeBron has no heart. Sometimes he forgets he’s supposed to be a sports analyst and flips whatever switch turns him into Bruce Bruce and makes him think you have to say the same sentence five or six times in a row no matter who else is trying to talk. Here’s a clip courtesy of The Basketball Jones of Smith going full-”Denzel Washington yelling at Caucasian Protagonist” on ESPN’s The Skip Bayless Variety Hour:

I love that Skip’s out of context response is IS THERE A WIZARD. That’s pretty much Skip in a nutshell, isn’t it?

I think the two things we should get from this are 1) it’s not a big deal, because Smith was just being colloquial and speaking passionately … LeBron really does need to dig deep and start showing some heart, because he’s unarguably one of the most talented basketball players we’ve ever seen and he should have two or three championships already. Oh, and courtesy of Jimmy Traina, 2) “Anyone who watches that show should be put in a mental institution.”

And in case you’ve never seen it, this is pretty obviously what this clip reminded me of:

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Rebecca Grant’s Wikipedia disambiguation refers to her as “Sports Reporter, Maxim / FHM Model”. TMZ, being the Worldwide Leader In Kim Kardashian Excuses and Justin Bieber Baby Mama Drama, turns a five second interview with her about what she’s doing for Thanksgiving into a minute-and-a-half piece that simultaneously starts some sh*t with Erin Andrews and tries to get them to have sex with each other. It’s the kind of thing they’d give an award to, if the Emmys wasn’t an institution built on payola and gave awards to catty pricks in indoor wool beanies.

If we’re picking sides, though, I’m going with Erin. Sure, Rebecca is pretty hot, but she’s hot in a way that makes you think you could win her by throwing balls at milk jugs at a carnival. She looks like she should be Megan Fox’s stage mom. Also, Erin Andrews is a sideline reporter who just happens to be pretty. Rebecca’s resume says “former co-host of ‘NFL Under the Helmet’”, but right under it it says “Juggy – ‘Man Show’”. You can watch the FIRE STARTING video after the jump, but be warned, it might make you hate women and men.

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Crap, this isn’t what they’re talking about, is it.

Links

It’s Official: Netflix Is Bringing Back ‘Arrested Development’ For Another Season - Now if they can do this with ‘Community’ and ‘Firefly’, and somehow convince the cast of ‘Freaks and Geeks’ to go back in time to when they were younger and be good again. [UPROXX]

Happy Birthday To Us: A Gallery of Birthday Animals - I hate being a new editor, I don’t know when any of our holidays are. I don’t even know if I’m supposed to work on Thanksgiving. I’m vegan, so I’m stuck working, right? [Gamma Squad]

Just What ‘The Matrix’ Needed: Mambo No. 5 - Don’t know why this exists, but I love it. The trompets. The TROMpets. [Film Drunk]

ESPN’s Lee Corso Says The F-Word, The World Laughs - New professional goal: get on ESPN once, use the phrase “you f**kers”. [Smoking Section]

This Explains So Much - The next time it’s 11:15 on a Saturday night and an SNL writer doesn’t have an idea, fire him and replace him with someone who is funny and can produce without ruining everything. [Warming Glow]

6 Photos Of Cats Who Look Like Drake - I love this, if only for the possibility of the hashtag “I hurt myself: Meow”. [Buzzfeed]

9 Towns with Tasty Thanksgiving Names - Like when you’re a kid and think the country of “Turkey” is funny, but longer. [The FW]

Lil Wayne Returns to Hometown to Hand Out Thanksgiving Turkeys - They should really keep filming him doing stuff like this and try to witness a Christmas Miracle. [Popcrush]

30 Inexplicably Damning Reviews For Awesome Movies - Movie reviews are the worst. I like to review a movie by watching it with someone, then turning to them and saying “so what’d you think”, then talking about what we thought. [FARK]

Kermit on Jason Segel’s Nude Scene: He Had ‘Shortcomings’ - Not really interested in Kermit the Frog looking at dicks, guys. [Moviefone]

The 5 Best #SAVECOMMUNITY Campaign Posters Made To Avert The Darkest Timeline - You know what would’ve worked even better? More good season 3 episodes of ‘Community’. |Pajiba|

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Best DVD Commentary Ever - I love you, Arnold, and I don’t care what a weird creep you are in real life. [High Definite]

YOU'RE ALL LIKE HITLER, YEAH WOOO

Last night’s 45th Annual Country Music Association Awards featured a lot of the usual suspects — Taylor Swift crying about winning an award she expected to win, a touching tribute to Texas Ranger La Boeuf and Darius Rucker turning “and the Blowfish” into a full-blown country music career — but the best parts were when sports guys showed up, because I haven’t gone lifestyle yet and can’t write about The Zac Brown Band on my sports blog.

Erin Andrews usually shows up at these things and is worth a slideshow by herself, but thankfully 2011′s sports content was bolstered by an appearance by Hank Williams Jr., hot off his summer of evoking Godwin’s Law, apologizing-for-things-but-not-really and rerecording songs to make them be about how much he hates ESPN. He appeared and made a few jokes about himself that never turned him into the bad guy, and the Reba-filled audience responded like you’d imagine.

Oh, and David Freese was there, but nobody knew who he was. I thought he was Prince Fielder for like, five minutes.

Anyway, please click through to enjoy Erin Andrews, Hank Jr.’s parody of a parody of a parody and additional Erin Andrews.

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In the first second of this video, a version of Tim Tebow with angel wings stabs an upright-walking, football-playing dolphin in the stomach with a spear. Seconds later, Tebow is drafted by the Denver Broncos and descends from Heaven in a glowing light. You know what? I take back everything I said about Taiwanese animation. They’ve still got it.

These videos succeed or fail for me based on how accurately they can express what’s been happening with the dumb sh*t they come up with. For example, watching Tim Tebow have his angel wings clipped and not being able to throw a pass because he’s been hit by a blast from Batman’s Remote Electrical Charge? That might as well be on SportsCenter. ESPN and Sports Illustrated using axes to cut Tebow’s rope and embarrass him in front of everybody at church? That’s exactly how blogging works.

Well, if Taiwanese Animated Kate Upton was hanging around somewhere in the foreground it’d be more exactly, but you see what I’m saying.

[via NMA World Edition]

Reality TV’s knockout combo of talking heads and inanimate 38-year old women has made “The Real Housewives Of ______” an easy joke, but when it’s done right, it can be really, really right. Case in point:”The Real Houseweives Of South Boston”, by way of Buzzfeed.

Somehow it manages to be hilarious, exactly like a real Real Housewives episode (complete with inexplicable dinner party) and a perfect encapsulation of every character I’ve ever seen from a movie set in Boston. Seriously, if one of these women had a gun this could pass for five minutes of The Town. If they aired the show as is on ESPN in Primetime I wouldn’t even know it was a joke.

Moments to look out for: Paul Pierce Jr. (and the pitch-perfect dichotomy of prejudiced white folks who love black people), Boston fans only liking home runs (didn’t need a parody video to tell me that) and the phrase “I f**k athletes. These are my trophies”.

[backwards hat tip to Mr. Matt Ufford]