Steve Jobs, one of the most important people in our modern world, has died. It’s hard to do a tribute to him at With Leather, because a “The Sports World Reacts To The Death Of Steve Jobs” thing would just be LeBron James going “@justinbieber Steve Jobs dead please RT”, but he deserves a network full of obituaries, and here are a few from the UPROXX family. You died like you lived, Steve: smarter than everyone else, and never changing clothes.

Steve Jobs Is Dead At 56 - I’m glad he lived more than twice as long as Jack Noseworthy. [UPROXX]

R.I.P. Steve Jobs - Warming Glow’s tribute, featuring his 2005 Stanford commencement address and a sick burn on Zunes. [Warming Glow]

Obits: Former Apple CEO Steve Jobs - A word from TSS. [The Smoking Section]

The World Reacts To The News Of Steve Jobs’ Death - This features that amazing Tweet from the Westboro Baptist Church about how they’re gonna picked Steve’s funeral, posted using the Church lady’s iPhone. Great stuff. [Gamma Squad]

And now, some stuff to get this off your mind.

Links

ESPN’s NSFW-ish Body Issue: Naked Gymnastics And Awkward Nude Dunking - You might’ve seen this yesterday, but click it again, because I updated it yesterday afternoon with naked Hope Solo video. It’s something you should see, possibly twice. [With Leather]

Kirsten Dunst: “I couldn’t have done Antichrist because my boobs are too big.” - Having seen two key scenes in Melancholia, I support this. I also would’ve accepted “I couldn’t have done Antichrist because I didn’t want the Green Goblin to actually put his dick in me”. [Film Drunk]

The Last Words Of 20 People Who Were Executed - I want my last words before execution to be “boom, roasted”. [Buzzfeed]

When Did Kelly Osbourne Get Sorta Hot? - She didn’t. She’s going backwards, and was sorta hot a few years ago when she was chubby and Sheamus-white and trying to be a goth pop star. [FARK]

25 Things You May Not Know About ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ - #26: The older you get, the more you get bothered by MISS-A GO-RIGHTRY, I MUSSA PLOTESSSSSST. [Moviefone]

Church of Mary Doesn’t Really Get ‘House’ Quotes - This is like a comedy club putting up posters of “Scrubs”. Come on, pay attention! [The Daily What]

The 16 Hottest ‘Bare Necessities’ Lingerie Models - Baloo had better be in here somewhere. [Brobible]

The Ten Best Horror Movies You Haven’t Seen - Also great but not on this list, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. It’s the first movie I ever watched with my girlfriend, and has the “les incompetent” girl from Home Alone in it. [Unreality]

ESPN The Magazine has released a batch of photos from the 2011 installment of their annual “The Body Issue”, and while full-on nudity isn’t something we can really share with you at With Leather, we can’t see a picture of Blake Griffin dunking with his pants down and not share it with you. It gives the whole “dunking over a car” thing an extra degree of difficulty.

This year’s issue isn’t as conservative as 2009, when most of the athletes were wearing shorts, but it remains tasteful and doesn’t tread near the whole “seeing Patrick Willis’ pubic hair” thing from last year. There are a lot (a lot) of gorgeous women from nearly every corner of the sports world featured, including-but-not-limited-to Hope Solo, LPGA rookie Belen Mozo, foxy roller derby star Suzy Hotrod, the WNBA’s statuesque Sylvia Fowles and the lady pulling a LeBron James in the image up top, Olympic silver medal gymnast Alicia Sacramone. I’m really glad that isn’t LeBron James.

Of course, the following gallery is only a sampling, and you should head on over to ESPN The Magazine The Website to see more, including the pictures I’m not authorized to show you (or, “Wow, time to Wikipedia the sh*t out of Stephanie Gilmore”). Also, consider buying the magazine itself, if that’s your bag. Now please click through and laugh at that weird picture of Jon “Bones” Jones peeing in his swimming pool.

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Forgive the grainy nature of the photo — it’s courtesy of TMZ, so I’m lucky there isn’t a huge T over Sammy Sosa’s face. Anyway, in the spirit of ESPN The Magazine’s White Michael Vick I present to you White Sammy Sosa, a jokey slideshow about how a white version of slugger Sammy Sosa would party with MILFs at strip clubs and try to cram money into stripper vaginas. Wait, is this real? I thought Burnsy photo-shopped this for me. I thought Sammy was undergoing a skin treatment, why does he still look like this oh my god

This is the only context we’re given.

Retired MLB player Sammy Sosa proved he’s still a baller by partying and throwing cash into a belly dancer’s skirt at Lavo in NYC on Sunday.

The 42-year-old knows a good tip when he sees it.

He proved he’s still a baller and that he looks like he should be getting arrested by Dick Tracy. Somebody get ESPN The Magazine on the phone, real life is taking this too far.

Yesterday, the above image was published by ESPN for the article, “What if Michael Vick Were White?” which appears in the Sept. 5 issue of ESPN the Magazine, or Highlights for Sports as I like to call it. Of course everyone’s heads exploded like that dude in Scanners over the picture of Michael Vick in whiteface. Some people freaked out because they said the image is offensive. Others freaked out because ESPN is stupid and it’s just a natural reaction to hate something that they did. Even more people attacked the article’s author, Touré, because they thought he came up with the title and picture. Such an angry culture we live in.

Touré insists that he had nothing to do with article’s title, the image, or people with one-word names. I’ve read the article twice and I’m not so much offended by it as I’ve simply shrugged my shoulders and wondered why the hell we’re still talking about this. Touré makes a great point – Vick’s crimes weren’t about race, as much as they were about where he’s from. There are neighborhoods, cities, families, and all-around mindsets in which dog fighting is considered normal. And we already know that, but Touré felt that we had to talk about it again.

I don’t want to talk about Vick’s problems anymore, though. As far as I’m concerned, Vick’s only real problem is his inability to pick up the blitz. I just want to talk about that exceptional white male that ESPN invented for the sake of stirring the pot. White Michael Vick has me seriously intrigued. So I set out to find out more about White Mike Vick the man, and what really makes him tick.

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ESPN the Magazine, or Highlights for sports fans as I like to call it, has finally released its highly-anticipated 9th-annual Ultimate Standings. If you’re unfamiliar, the Ultimate Standings are a guide to determining which sports franchises of the four major North American leagues (MLB, NFL, NBA and NHL) offer their fans the best experience, from cost to winning. Ultimately, it’s probably the most scientific method of telling us what we already know.

ESPN’s brain trust determined the standings with 8 categories:

Bang For The Buck (BNG): Wins during the past three years (regular season plus postseason) per revenues directly from fans, adjusted for league schedules.

Fan Relations (FRL): Openness and consideration toward fans by players, coaches and management.

Ownership (OWN): Honesty and loyalty to core players and local community.

Affordability (AFF): Price of tickets, parking and concessions.

Stadium Experience (STX): Quality of arena and game-day promotions as well as friendliness of environment.

Players (PLA): Effort on the field and likability off it.

Coaching (CCH): Strength of on-field leadership.

Title Track (TTR): Championships already won or expected in the lifetime of current fans.

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Back in December, I hit a point that I was spending more time on sports rumor web sites than I was on Facebook or Twitter, which is a considerable concern mind you, and it was all due to the Albert Pujols contract talks. And my obsessive behavior hit a low point when I actually shelled out American currency to pay for ESPN Insider. Of course I know that all of ESPN’s “rumors” are available everywhere else – and rarely correct – but I still needed to hear from Buster Olney that Albert’s best landing place was St. Louis, even if it meant reading Michael Wilbon’s latest efforts like, “I’m from Chicago, did you know this?” and “Every team should let the Cubs win”.

With that Insider subscription, of course, came ESPN the Magazine, or as I like to call it – Highlights for sports fans. Although the latest issue didn’t feature Goofus and Gallant teaching us about the NFL lockout, it was the “Style Report”, for which I went out and bought a Burberry scarf just to flip it in contempt. Actually, the issue has been on my bathroom floor for a week.

I won’t go into too much detail about my lack of desire to read about how I can spend $8,000 to dress like Steve Johnson and CJ Wilson, but I was rather tickled by a short feature about Tommy Hilfiger’s thoughts on how he would change the uniforms of pro sports’ most iconic teams – namely the L.A. Lakers, New York Yankees, Dallas Cowboys and Montreal Canadiens. Meanwhile, I still can’t convince Saran Wrap to redesign the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders’ uniforms.

If you haven’t already scoffed at the notion, take a look for yourself.

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