This infographic (“info” graphic) appeared on the flagship television show from the Worldwide Leader in Sports. The image of the infographic comes from Reddit, which is part of the Internet, which in total cannot believe that people are getting paid to whip up shitty infographics like this for the Worldwide Leader in Sports.

The worst part is … well, its existence, but the other worst part is how unhelpful it is. Half of it is super vague. GET TURNOVER. DUNK. STARE DOWN. I don’t think they put all of that on the poster. Posters are singular images, not Sportsflix. And then the true gem, “fast break with Norris Cole.” That’s awfully specific, guys! I guess at ESPN, LeBron James is the only dude who gets to be on posters. I’d love to see Blake Griffin get depressed that nobody’s ever taken a picture of him dunking and demand that the Clippers trade for Norris Cole.

Here’s how to make a pie, courtesy of ESPN:

- buy groceries
- turn on your oven
- ask Dwyane Wade to lob you a cookie sheet
- eat the pie

Back in August, NFL fans everywhere rejoiced as “comedian” and impressionist Frank Caliendo announced on his Facebook page that he had “parted ways” with Fox Sports and would not be returning to the network’s Sunday NFL coverage. That was great news for us, because we love Fox’s NFL coverage, specifically Curt Menefee, who is awesome and the best in the world. But other sports talking heads acted like this was a shame, because they’re stupid and like to laugh at a Robert DeNiro impression picking the Chiefs to upset the Packers.

Of Caliendo’s “departure”, I wrote:

Anyway, cue the “NBC Sports Hires Frank Caliendo” stories in 3… 2… 1…

That, of course, was my response to Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio acting like this was the biggest mistake that Fox could ever make. Well, I was shamefully wrong, because we all should have known which network was going to bring a walking knock-knock joke back to NFL coverage for his hilarious anaylsis.

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