I love these Taiwanese animations more than many of my own life achievements. I want to caress them late at night and wipe away their tears and tell them that everything’s going to be alright while they fall asleep in my arms. And then the next morning I would wake up and find a note on the pillow telling me how sweet I am but it could never work out because I’m an obese blogger from the midwest and they’re snippets of computerized video footage depicting current events with English subtitles. But that’s love.

So if you missed it, Brett Favre and the New York Jets are getting sued for sexual harassment. That is not love, but something a bit creepier.

Daisuke Matsuzaka, the Boston Red Sox' $103 million Japanese rookie pitcher, shared the interesting way he learned English at a press conference yesterday:

Matsuzaka said he watched movies to help him learn English – "Lethal Weapon" with Mel Gibson, "Cliffhanger" with Sylvester Stallone. In the midst of a string of Japanese words, he spoke two familiar ones: "Meg Ryan."

Uh, Meg Ryan isn't in either of those movies dude, and Japan is about fifteen to twenty years behind on their American cinema.  Like every red-blooded American male, I loved the original white/black cop-buddy-picture, Running Scared, and Lethal Weapon is great too.  But Cliffhanger?  Janine Turner is very hot, but this film should have never been made available for export.  Just so we're clear, Dice-K is learning Shakespeare's tongue predominantly from Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, and Sylvester Stallone.  Did anyone else's head just explode?

He also revealed a wide variety of his favorite people – from Cy Young to Manny Ramirez to Angelina Jolie.  "Obviously, she's very pretty," Matsuzaka, 26 and married, said through Hoshino, "but there's an aura about her. She also has strength and poise."

Move over Mitch Albom, Daisuke can parlay this this into some "Three People You Meet for Sashimi" book deal.  Also, I assume the spirit of "poise" and "strength" were lost in translation: read casaba tits and fellatory lips. -KD

Editor's note: With Leather policy dictates that all stories about Daisuke Matsuzaka be accompanied by a picture of a Japanese gravura model. Say hello to Yoko Matsugane, everyone.