It’s been a little over a month since JaMarcus Russell was cut from the Oakland Raiders, and after getting passed on by the NFL, the big man is rumored to be taking his talents to the Omaha Nighthawks of the UFL. JaMarcus would be the second quarterback drafted in the first round to join the league, a trail blazed by the sex boat captain himself, Daunte Culpepper. A who’s who of fat quarterbacks, indeed. UFL scouts are looking for Jared Lorenzen, he shouldn’t be hard to find.

A source with knowledge of the situation tells us that the expansion Omaha Nighthawks could be signing Russell, who would team up with running back Ahman Green in the team’s backfield. –PFT

He’s being looked at by an expansion UFL team? That means the UFL is expanding, which is confusing on so many levels. Who’s going to UFL games? Apparently, the citizens of San Antonio and Omaha clamoring for a UFL franchise. They were so inspired by the play of Brooks Bollinger.

Omaha fans should be excited about a Russell-Green backfield, but they’re missing an Antwaan Randel-El type piece to make their offense suck. Never mind, they want to sign Eric Crouch. I tried to think of a reason they’d want Eric Crouch, but my brain almost exploded. If they’re looking for washed up Heisman winners to sign, I’m pretty sure Ron Dayne and Chris Weinke are looking for work, too.

The studios, reliable, and marginally-attractive 100% Injury Rate (via the Orlando Sentinel) cites "published reports [of my dong, heh -- GEd.]" that the All-American Football League might have already shot its wad before it even gets onto the dance floor. Which really isn't a terrible problem to have, provided you're not a upstart professional football league. 

Ah yes, the AAFL. It was an idea to create a pro league of only 4-year college graduates…and have them play at college stadiums across the country. Also, players from certain regions were supposed to only be able to be drafted by specific specific teams, so that there was some kind of connection to college fan bases.

I'm sure that the brilliant sages that set this fucker up to begin with, what with their poorly-constructed business model, inferior assemblages of talent, and gonorrhea-laden streams of revenue, would eventually admit that they overestimated the demand for spring football and gracefully admit defeat. Or blame the league's collapse on the subprime mortgage crisis and hunt down another owner at the last possible second.  One of those.

Since inception, the League's finances have been indirectly tied to the $300 billion federally guaranteed student loan asset backed securities market. In August, the sub prime mortgage crisis began spreading into other sectors such as municipal bonds and federally guaranteed student loans. The situation, which was considered to be temporary at the time, has continued to worsen.

You owe it to yourself to read that last link from the AAFL page. It sounds deliciously desperate, even for a league that drafted Eric Crouch third overall. But seriously, why go out to a club when you can find a good hooker? At least if you get the hooker pregnant, you know that she'll be the one footing the bill for the abortion. Is there nothing a woman won't ask of a man these days? — Monday Morning Punter

[100% Injury Rate via Orlando Sentinel]