And I say HEY! What a wonderful time of day! Where you can learn to work and play, and read the first Sports On TV of 2013: the 20 greatest sports moments from PBS Kids’ ‘Arthur.’

‘Arthur’ is about the mostly-educational adventures of Arthur Read, an 8-year old aardvark who … well, learns to work and play and get along with the people in his hometown of Elwood City. Arthur started as a series of children’s books by author and illustrator Marc Brown, and eventually became a cartoon so popular it has over 1.1 million likes on Facebook and is the longest-running children’s animated series in the U.S., second behind only ‘The Simpsons’ as the longest-running animated series in the U.S. period. It’s also full of sports, and sometimes I like to write things on my comedy sports blog that my girlfriend will enjoy.

If you don’t already love ‘Arthur’ and have no interest in flipping through this list, listen to the opening theme, included below. If you can listen to the entire thing and not sing it for the rest of the day, I’ll let you off the hook.

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Horses suck.  People who love horses suck.  If you’re not an actual cowboy, horses are a complete waste of your time.  To quote the foremost expert on the subject:

They are gross and stupid and disgusting and smell like shit. There are flies all over them and they make dumb noises. HORSES ARE TERRIBLE!!! [They also paralyzed Superman - Ed.]

So anyway, here’s a stupid horse doing a why-the-long-faceplant, and its country club douchebag rider goes down with it.  God I love watching this video.  If scientists can ever harness the raw energy of schadenfreude, I’m gonna singlehandedly put the oil companies out of business.

[Don Chavez]

British equestrienne Zara Phillips — granddaughter of the Queen of England — gained our attention earlier this week, and yesterday, just hours after I declared her an Attractive Olympian over at FanHaus, she got bumped from the Olympic team.  This will be the second consecutive Olympics for which her bitch-ass horse Toytown has gotten injured and forced her to withdraw.

Zara, 27, the current world champion three day eventer, was hotly tipped to win a gold medal, but as she and Toytown were jointly selected for Great Britain's eventing team, the injury to the horse means that his rider must also be withdrawn from Beijing 2008…

[She] could well remain at the top level of her sport, and have a chance to represent Great Britain at the London Olympics in 2012. That distant hope will be no consolation at the moment however, and she is likely to require comforting from her boyfriend, England rugby international Mike Tindall, 29, at her home in Minchinhampton, Gloucestershire.

Oh, this is simply terrible.  A true royal tragedy.  How will this fabulously wealthy blonde princess who's 12th in line for the British crown ever recover from the heartbreak of not being able to compete at the Olympic Games in a sport restricted solely to the upper class of society?  Will the muscular arms of her international rugby star boyfriend be enough to console her?

What's so touching about this story is that it could have happened to any of us.