By running away with the American Express Championship this weekend, Tiger Woods extended his PGA Tour winning streak to six. This, of course, excludes his recent performance in Ryder Cup and some other match play in which he was merely human. I'm sure Tiger's really broken up about that. Six straight tournaments is, what? Three million dollars or so, maybe more? Not bad for twenty-four rounds of golf.

Fittingly, Tiger's going to take a little vacation over the coming weeks:

"I'm getting away for a little bit. As far as golf, I've had enough of it for a while."

Tiger went on to add, "This game for mortals bores me. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a Swedish blonde I need to go turn inside-out." At least he should have said that. If I were the richest athlete in the world and had a ridiculously hot wife, I would definitely talk about how filthy she was in bed, just so everybody would hate me more.

And Grandma wonders why I haven't found a nice girl to settle down with. 

Tiger Woods has fired back at the Irish magazine that claimed his wife Elin Nordegren had posed naked for pornographic websites. The tabloid wrote:

Most American golfers are married to women who cannot keep their clothes on in public. Is it too much to ask that they leave them at home for the Ryder Cup? Consider the evidence. Tiger Woods' wife can be found in a variety of sweaty poses on porn sites.

 To which el Tigre responded: 

My wife, yes, she has been a model prior, and she did do some bikini photos. But to link her to porn Web sites and such is unacceptable, and I no not accept that at all. Neither does our team… I know the media can be a little bit difficult at times, but when you … it's hard to be very diplomatic about this when you have so much emotion involved, when my wife is involved in this. As I said, I don't want that to deter from the beauty of this event.

Wait, what? That was his retort? What a pussy. I'd be all, "Yeah, I married a Swedish model, but the only sweaty, pornographic photos of her are the ones I took last night. Seriously, we did some filthy shit. I'm not even sure if some of it was legal." 

The alleged photos of Elin are actually another blonde model named Kim Hiott (I recommend a Google Image Search for careful comparison of the two). It's an understandable mistake, actually; sexy blondes all look the same to me: sexy.

I thought I'd clear this mess up by posting some pictures of Elin. I wanted to post pictures of Amy Mickelson, too, because she's a taut-bodied little minx, but it's damn near impossible to find photos of her where she's not in the same frame as Phil's pendulous, sweaty orbs. I also have this image of Elin and Amy wearing white cotton panties and making out, but I couldn't get this USB cord to attach to my brain. Stupid computers.