Edmonton Oilers center Steve (I’m sorry, Gilbert) Brule thought he recognized a hitchhiker on the side of the road in British Columbia, so he got his girlfriend to stop the car, drive back and pick him up. It turns out the hitchhiker was f**king Bono of U2, and either this is the weirdest moment of kismet ever or the fakest story written by the fakest teen kid and sent in to the most gullible and possibly fakest news site. Which I guess would be us.

From Pro Sports Daily:

The pair then returned to find Bono, who confirmed his identity and asked for a lift to Horseshoe Bay. Brule and Nichols obliged, and Bono and his assistant traveled in back with Brule’s dog, Bella.

Bono then offered tickets to his show in Edmonton on Wednesday. Brule and Nichols agreed, and promptly sold their tickets to Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals in Vancouver to attend the U2 show.

Bono was so touched by the gesture that he addressed the crowd at the concert.

“I like ice hockey because people who play ice hockey are the kind of people who pick up hitchhikers,” Bono told the crowd. “I’m ever so grateful. I’ve decided that I want to be Gilbert Brule.”

Yeah, pretty sure this was written by Gilbert Brule.

Regardless, what the hell was Bono doing with his assistant and some U2 tickets on the side of the road in West Vancouver? Does he do this on purpose, waiting for somebody to drive by and be a good Samaritan so he can get them to trade Stanely Cup tickets for tickets to Zooropa (or whatever)? If I see a guy on the side of the road who looks like Tom Waits should I pick him up, even though there’s a 95% chance I’ll get robbed and stabbed, because he might actually be Tom Waits?

Thanks a lot, Bono.

As much as I bag on hockey, I really do like the sport despite being a St. Louis Blues fan and constantly miserable. What I really love is a good hockey fight, especially when the refs just let it happen, and even more so when everyone is into it. Take the Dallas Stars, for example. When fights break out at the American Airlines Center, the music from Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out plays over the speaker system. And things were no different on Wednesday night when Dallas’ Krys Barch got into it with Edmonton’s Zack Stortini.

Dallas ended up winning the game 3-1, as Brenden Morrow had two goals, but the real winner was my childhood. I think it’s imperative that we include more theme songs from classic video games into sporting events. We could play the Tetris theme every time Tony LaRussa makes a lineup change or the Super Mario Bros. music at San Antonio Spurs games because Manu Ginobli looks like a Koopa Troopa.

Video after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

In last Saturday’s game that had the Los Angeles Kings beating the Edmonton Oilers 5-2, Kings defenseman Drew Doughty decided to decapitate (please acknowledge that great alliteration) Edmonton’s poor little rookie Taylor Hall, the pride and joy of the Oilers right now. The very clean hit did not go over well with the rest of the Oilers, including Dustin Penner, who promptly stopped playing hockey (as is hockey player reflex when someone on your team gets rocked) and started jumping on any Los Angeles player near them.

Hall, who looks like a douche from his roster picture, gets up after the hit, shoves a guy once, then stands there, probably with tears streaming down his face that we can’t see. It’s absolutely precious for a kid whose middle name is Strba (that’s not a name, that’s a bunch of random letters). At the two-minute mark is the greatest replay of Doughty’s crushing check, because it’s in SLOOOWWWWW MOTIOOONNNNN, the greatest invention for sports ever. Seriously, show me a person who doesn’t like slow-motion replays, and I’ll kill him. Simple as that.

So I got a bit of grief from my last post about Brent Seabrook’s injury and James Wizzi’s subsequent suspension, and perhaps deservedly so. So accept this as sort of a peace offering, Mike Comrie and Scott Nichol in a do-si-do, with video after the jump. After Comrie’s Oilers put a hurtin’ on the Sharks, Comrie did same to Nichol.

ASYLUM POLL: Are fights bad for hockey?

Even though Comrie seemed to strike the winning blow, Nichol landed more punches. So who wins? Hockeyfights, who brings us this wonderful video, had 58 percent of its voters giving the fight to Comrie. Do you see it that way? Is this even a hockey fight? You know, because I know so little about the game and all. Read the rest of this entry »

Writing down full descriptions for hockey fights is tiresome and forces me to learn background information I don’t want to know, so here’s a little breakdown of the roles in this quick and dirty Canucks-Oilers dust-up:

Mattias Ohlund: checker
Erik Cole: checkee
Cole’s teammate Sheldon Souray: puncher
Ohlund: punchee

The most important thing about this video?  It’s buying me some more time to put together a sexy WAG gallery for the next post.  And it also gives the hockey fans something to enjoy.  You know, when they’re not too busy reading The New Yorker and sipping brandy.  By which I mean “chewing Red Man.”

[FanIQ]

I know there are hockey fans out there, and this goes out to both of you. Last Thursday night, the Stars won 6-5 in Edmonton despite the blunder below. With the game about to end and the Stars leading 5-4, Dallas forward Patrik Stefan is about to seal the game with an empty-net goal. Watch and enjoy.

And yes, it's Monday and I'm going to post as many videos as possible today.

(Thanks to hunky reader Jeff for the link.)