Ed Hochuli’s inadvertent whistle that negated a Jay Cutler fumble at the end of Sunday’s Chargers-Broncos barnburner gave Denver the extra chance it needed to win the game, and as pissed off as San Diego fans are, no one feels as badly about it as Hochuli.

“He’s devastated,” said Mike Pereira, the NFL’s supervisor of officials. “… I was talking to Ed within 10 minutes after the game was over, and he was sick. He’s still sick (yesterday). [...]

Most remarkably, posts on various Internet forums indicated Hochuli replied to hundreds of e-mails from fans Monday. In those e-mails, he apologized for his mistake.  One such e-mail… read:

I’m getting hundreds of emails – hate mail – but I’m responding to it all. People deserve a response.

You can rest assured that nothing anyone can say can make me feel worse than I already feel about my mistake on the fumble play. [...] Affecting the outcome of a game is a devastating feeling. Officials strive for perfection – I failed miserably. Although it does no good to say it, I am very, very sorry.

I’ve found that a nice way to say sorry is flowers.  Flowers and oral sex.  If he really wants to make it up to San Diego, he should probably clear his schedule this week.

[Shutdown Corner; image source]

To borrow the lede from the San Diego Union Tribune, Chargers defensive lineman Ryon Bingham is a bear of a man… and he eats like one, too!!  Wokka wokka wokka!  No, but seriously: he catches fish and eats them raw.

As captured on video and shown proudly, not only did the 6-foot-3, 305-pound Bingham catch a lovely rainbow trout, but he also ate it. On the spot. Raw. As fresh as fresh gets. “What can I say?” Bingham said. “I got hungry.” [...]

You shall be spared the more graphic details of Bingham's fish feast, a scene best left to one of those National Geographic Channel or Animal Planet specials, but it does redefine the lengths to which a man will go to satisfy his appetite for sushi. Suffice it to say, though, that offensive linemen have been duly warned to keep their hands out of Bingham's face.

Dude, I hate it when reporters puss out like that.  If I'd been there I would have swiped the video, had it on YouTube in five minutes, and delivered some awesome play-by-play.  "Now see, look at the way he severs the spine with his incisors.  That may as well be heavy machinery."  C'mon, Ryan: share the wealth.  Let's see some gore.

Newly signed Chargers lineman Jeremy Newberry can't be blamed for a violent streak, drilled into his head as it was by his mother, who reinforced his brutality with money. Odd, since mine did the same with telling dick jokes. Funny how that works. 

Newberry says his mother paid him a bounty for injuring opponents before he had turned 10 years old.

“My mom used to pay me to knock people out of the game when I was a young kid,” Newberry said. “I used to make a couple dollars a game. When I was 9 years old, that was a lot of money. I tried to hit everybody.”

“She don't pay me no more,” he said. “In high school, it started getting expensive for her.”

“I'm not afraid to take a shot on somebody,” he said. “If I hurt you, I'm sorry. I'll shake your hand and buy you a beer afterward. But if I don't have to play you the rest of the game because you got a little tweak or you're injured, my team's probably got a better chance of winning.

Mom is just making an investment in the future. You bribe your son now to hurt some other kids and 10 years later he's buying you a house with his signing bonus. Or holding up banks and gunned down dozens. Either way, you're getting a cut. Where was the chapter on that, Dr. Spock?

Chargers linebacker/steroid user/creator of a dance about a light switch Shawne Merriman is short one car today; his beautiful Mercedes was stolen.  Fortunately, police were able to find it before Merriman even reported it gone.  Probably because it was in flames on the side of the road.

The 2006 sports coupe, valued at more than $180,000, was engulfed in flames when officers discovered it about midnight Thursday in Emerald Hills off Bethune Court, said San Diego police spokesman Gary Hassen.

The car was sitting on top of plastic milk crates, and all of its wheels were missing, Hassen said.

Gosh, that's terrible.  Of all the jackasses I would want this to happen to, Merriman's not even in the top 5.  There are at least six, maybe even seven or eight pro athletes who deserve this more.

(Thanks to Nick for the tip) 

The second half of the NFL season was just a little less whimsical without the work of BradyFan83 — it's been a while since Rob Bironas's tribute — but he's come back from whatever offline world he was visiting to bring us an ode to the Chargers' LaDainian Tomlinson set to the tune of "Mrs. Robinson." Granted, nothing will ever top "Brady," but BF is still less rusty than I would be after a three-month layoff. 

Oh man, a three-month layoff sounds awesome.  What do I have to do around here to get fired?  All I do is swear and look at naked chicks all day.  What kind of backwards job is this?

The San Diego defense intercepted Dreamboat 3 times, but the Chargers couldn't score a touchdown and lost to the undefeated New England Patriots 21-12 today. Tom Brady was excited to win the AFC Championship:

"Now we're going someplace warm, because I'm freezing my you-know-what off," Brady said . . . It was 23 degrees at gametime, making for frosty breaths on the field and putting the Patriots cheerleaders in parkas. Most players chose to ignore the cold and came out in short sleeves. The brisk wind caused more noticeable problems. The goalposts shook with every gust while passes and punts sailed in crazy directions. "I didn't think it was that bad," Belichick said. "It wasn't a balmy day, I'm not saying that, but it wasn't bad."

I'd take Belichick's opinion of the weather with a grain of salt; he's used to the ninth circle of Hell which is only slightly warmer than Green Bay. Mother Nature has undoubtedly affected both Championship matches, and she's been taking criticism all day. Shannon Sharpe actually called her ugly during CBS' halftime show. Shannon Sharpe! If that isn't the pot calling the kettle . . . uh, he's not very attractive either. -KD