Dramatic Reenactment.

While new Los Angeles Lakers center Dwight Howard waits for the doorways and halls to be raised in his new home in HELL Newport Beach, he’s currently staying at a posh hotel in Beverly Hills. That, of course, has made him readily accessible for TMZ and the other Los Angeles paparazzi, and Howard is fine with that because he shamelessly wants to be loved and will slap on the smile and charm at the first flash of a bulb.

Early Monday morning, residents in some areas of L.A. experienced a mild earthquake that registered 3.3 on the see you at the party Richter scale. TMZ caught up with Howard yesterday to ask him about his first earthquake since being traded to the Lakers, and, well, we’re lucky to still have him with us.

“I was in the toilet … and It shook me off the toilet,” Dwight told us.

For the record, 3.2 is WEAK SAUCE … the Northridge quake that hit back in 1994 was a 6.7 and lasted almost 20 seconds. The Sylmar quake in ’71 was a 6.6.

You hear that, world? WEAK SAUCE. That’s a SCIEN … TIFIC term… bro. The TMZ guy with a camera also asked if the earthquake made Howard reconsider his trade to L.A. and he reaffirmed his love for saying he loves L.A. in front of cameras.

But a fall from a toilet could be pretty serious for a guy who recently had back surgery that kept him from flying to Orlando for his kids camp and may cause him to miss the start of the NBA season, so he should probably see a doctor to make sure it’s okay for him to fly to China again.

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Unless you’re still locked away in your fallout shelter, you already know that yesterday’s 5.9 earthquake in Virginia wasn’t very much to worry about. Sure, us hurricane-loving, proper-time-zone-having East Coast simple folk only know tremors as a delightful Kevin Bacon film about giant worms. So you left coasters will have to forgive us when an earthquake actually strikes our neck of the States and we act a little shocked. And laugh all you want, but just wait until I send some Floridians out your way to register as California voters. Who will be laughing then?

As usual, some professional athletes took to their Twitter accounts to express their hysteria and/or indifference at yesterday’s earthquake, which reportedly reached New York and Pennsylvania. Sadly, our favorite usual suspects like Chad Ochocinco, Jose Canseco, and the Iron Sheik were mum on the quake. But some new faces – mostly athletes from the Washington D.C. area – stepped up and added their own interesting commentary on the matters. Thankfully, none of them blamed it on gay marriage.

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