Despite being linked to nearly every vacant coaching gig in the NBA, Lakers coach Phil Jackson told Fanhouse in an exclusive interview that he plans to stay with the team he has coached for the past 10 years. Jackson previously declined the possibility of returning to the Chicago Bulls, where he coached from 1989 to 1998 and won his first six NBA titles. The New Jersey Nets and now the Cleveland Cavaliers have been suggested as landing spots for Jackson, but he insists that if he doesn’t retire, he’ll let Kobe keep making his job so easy.

The 10-time NBA champion coach has not completely denied the possibility of coaching in New Jersey or Cleveland, but he really hasn’t said that he’s interested, either. Jackson finds the Cleveland situation unique because the Cavaliers are essentially letting Lebron James determine who they hire, even though LeBron could sign with another team in a few weeks. But Jackson seems perfectly content with the possibility of a new contract with the Lakers, despite the rumored pay cut he’d have to take off of his current $12 million salary. Poor guy, he may have to pawn some jewelry.

Remain loyal to us, Fanhouse:

Asked if he anticipates returning to the Lakers, Jackson said, “Yeah.” But when asked if this was any revelation Jackson was providing, he reverted back to what he has said previously, saying, “No. Like I’ve said, 90 percent chance that, if I’m coaching, I’ll be back here.”

Jackson already has shot down a report linking him to the opening in Chicago, which Jackson led to six titles in the 1990s. But he now has not completely closed the door on jobs in Cleveland and New Jersey.

Jackson also weighed in on recent comments by Dwayne Wade, after the free agent Miami Heat superstar questioned the loyalty of the Chicago Bulls ownership to its former players. Wade said that Miami is incredibly loyal to former players, but he wonders why Michael Jordan is in Charlotte and Scottie Pippen hasn’t returned to the team in any management role. Jackson pointed out that there are plenty of players from his Bulls teams that are working in Chicago now, including John Paxson and Bill Wennington.

Somewhere Cliff Levingston and Dennis Hopson are wondering if anyone remembers them. And the answer is no.

Dwyane Wade rejected Tony Parker on consecutive possessions in the fourth quarter during today's Heat vs. Spurs game.  After the second block, a one-on-one situation, Parker's johnson fell to the court, he dropped to his knees and began to openly weep.  He screamed "Je suis un eunuque maintenant!" ("I am a eunuch now!") to the rafters of American Airlines Arena.  Eva Longoria, Parker's fianceé, was in attendance to witness the public castration.  Wade finished the game with 26 points, 18 in the fourth quarter to propel Miami to a 100-85 victory, as the final minutes of the game were played virtually five on four as Parker laid where had dropped, sobbing in the fetal position.

Longoria and Parker plan to marry in Paris on July 7, 2007, but now, since Parker can not consummate the marriage, there is doubt whether the fairy-tale wedding will take place at all.  A star of ABC's Desperate Housewives, Longoria has shown her proclivity for romantic trysts with low-level employees and men who do the real dirty work: such as gardeners or assistant editors of sports blogs.

She has often been overheard telling friends that she wished she could find a man whose first language was English, knew arcane baseball statitstics and was a Catholic she could take home to mother, but where can a woman find such a remarkable man? -KD  

Mark Cuban took exception with Dwayne Wade's comments about Dirk Nowitzki's leadership skills.  Nobody likes to hear their star player didn't step up during the last three games of the NBA Finals, but Mark Cuban chose to denounce Wade's acting skills:

Is this the DWade of some of the lamest , boring commercials known to man? Commercials that are singlehandedly responsible for selling more commercial skipping Tivos than anything else on TV?

Snap!  But not everybody can afford a Tivo, Rockefeller.  Some of us watch the commercials, and you know what, DWade is a really nice guy.  Remember when he gave those South Side Rec Center kids a new basketball hoop and backboard with a bunch of new basketballs.  But he wasn't done – he then gave the old, kindly coach the car he drove there! And poor DWade had to ride all the way back to Miami on his fifth grade bicycle.  I'm pretty sure if you Tivo through that commercial, you go straight to Hell. -KD