Divorce is never cause for celebration, unless it involves Olivia Wilde in a year or so – sorry, Jason Sudeikis, we love you but… it’s an Internet thing – and it pains me to bring more light to the recent news that NASCAR’s first lady of turning left, Danica Patrick, and her husband, that guy who she married, are indeed calling quits after seven years. Patrick and Paul Hospenthal, if that is his real name, filed in Arizona, where a couple can get divorced for any reason under the sun, so I hope they go with something cool like, “Refusal to Invest in Shark Fighting League”.

Unfortunately, they went with a boring reason, as the Sporting news reported first:

Danica Patrick filed for divorce on Jan 3. in the Superior Court of Arizona, citing an “irretrievably broken” marriage with her husband, Paul Hospenthal.

Sort of like how my heart was irretrievably broken when Wilde got engaged to Sudeikis. But back to this announcement, someone’s getting taken to the cleaners, right?

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