San Francisco Giants pitcher and Alanis Morrisette lookalike Tim Lincecum was found in possession of marijuana after being pulled over in a routine traffic stop. Hey, there are a lot worse things than pot that you could put in your mouth. Dave Coulier, for instance.
Lincecum was pulled over for doing 74 in a 60-mph zone near the Washington-Oregon border and turned over 3.3 grams of the sticky when the cop on the scene detected the smell of it. But how did he know what pot smells like?
Lincecum, 25, entered a plea of not guilty through his attorney Monday, according to court records obtained by The Associated Press. He is scheduled to appear in court Dec. 22 and faces fines of $622 for the misdemeanor charges, police said.[..]
Giants spokesman Jim Moorehead said the team was “still gathering information and has no comment at this time.”
The San Jose Mercury News also points out that recreational drug use is not punishable under MLB’s current drug policy. I guess to be punished for that in baseball, his name has to be on some anonymous listed and then leaked to the New York Times in the dark corner of some parking garage. And yeah, I guess Lincecum doesn’t really look like Alanis.
Former tennis great Andre Aggasi has released a new book called “Open: An Autobiography,” wherein he reveals that he was using crystal meth in 1997–the same year that he married actress Brooke Shields.
[A] publicist for Random House confirmed the news. “Those excerpts contain revelations about Andre’s use of crystal meth when he was a tennis player,” said Paul Bogaards, director of media relations at Knopf, a division of Random House. Agassi used in 1997. –Huffpo.
Help me out here: is crystal meth like a high-end version of regular meth? Is there such a thing as diamond meth? Platinum meth? Sorry, I know nothing about recreational drug use. But I did steal some of these little blue pills from my dad’s medicine cabinet. A few of these should give me time to forget about being such a fat, sadistic loner.
Missy Giove was a world-class downhill bike racer, before she retired in 2003. Sadly, life after retirement just hit a bit of a snag, as she was just busted by the DEA for possessing almost 400 pounds of weed. From the monolith (thanks, OC)
U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration officials said Wednesday that the 37-year-old Giove, of Chesapeake, Va., and 30-year-old Eric Canori of Wilton were charged Tuesday with conspiring to possess and distribute more than 100 kilograms of marijuana.[...]
DEA spokeswoman Erin Mulvey said authorities learned of Giove and Canori’s plans last weekend when Illinois State Police pulled over a woman driving a truck and trailer loaded with about 220 pounds of marijuana. Authorities completed the delivery to the Albany area, where Mulvey said Giove picked up the vehicle and trailer.[...]
Giove was later arrested at nearby Saratoga Lake, authorities said. A search of Canori’s home turned up more than 150 pounds of pot and more than $1 million in cash stashed in a closet and the basement, the DEA said.
This clearly shows that the Obama administration isn’t helping out entrepreneurs like he promised. Seriously, I have a hard time imagining 370 pounds of anything. But seriously, who keeps a million dollars in cash in a closet. You’d have to be high to do something like that. Yeah, that joke sucks, but I’m really behind right now. Read the rest of this entry »
And no, it wasn’t to Taco Bell for their newest menu item, the Pitaphile, which is now on sale for 99 cents (but if you’re 12 or younger, it’s free). NFL draft bust Ryan Leaf was finally caught at the US-Canada border near Washington. Leaf was indicted on nine felony counts by a Texas grand jury in May, stemming from breaking into a college football players house and stealing his painkiller medication. From Y! Sports:
James Farren, the district attorney in Randall County in West Texas, said Leaf was arrested Wednesday by federal customs agents. Legal assistant Jennifer Bonstein said Leaf declined to waive extradition during a hearing Wednesday afternoon in Bellingham, Wash., about 90 miles north of Seattle.
Bill Kelly, Leaf’s attorney in Texas, said his client was returning to Texas to turn himself in by a Thursday deadline.
“I assume when he was crossing the border, they picked him up,” Kelly said.
Actually, that headline should probably indicate that Leaf was picked up on his return to the United States from Canada. Apparently all you need to get into Canada is a disappointing resume’. I have no idea why they call it the Great White North. I mean, have you ever seen a shark in Canada?
Ryan Leaf the citizen is becoming eerily reminiscent of Ryan Leaf the quarterback. After being “placed on leave” as a D-II assistant as the former NFL draft bust was indicted by a county grand jury in Texas for nine counts of drugs, burglary, and fake drugs. No, seriously. From WTOP:
Canyon police Lt. Dale Davis said Leaf is suspected of breaking into a Canyon apartment on Oct. 30 and stealing Hydrocodone, which had been prescribed to an injured football player.[...]
The count of delivery of a simulated controlled substance alleges Leaf gave an individual a substance he said was Hydrocodone but was not that drug.
Serious question: how does Leaf’s legacy stack up against Michael Vick’s? It probably depends on your personal preference for mental imbalance. At least Vick could put up numbers and capture the imagination of fans while he was on the field, whereas Leaf was an utter failure from the start. Does the following formula apply:
So much for starting The Next Chapter In Life. But then if these guys always got it right, I’d be out of a job.
Swimming is so boring between Olympics (Olympii?) that the best drug scandal that anyone could come up with was Michael Phelps smoking pot in front of a cell phone camera. But the fallout from that image has been unreal. Keep in mind that this is all happening in South Carolina, where reality and perspective–things you and I take for granted–do not exist.
We’ve now learned that since investigators began trying to build a case, they’ve made eight arrests: seven for drug possession and one for distribution. These are arrests that resulted as the sheriff’s department served search warrants.
We’ve also learned that the department has located and confiscated that bong. Sources say the owner of the bong was trying to sell it on eBay for as much as $100,000.
The owner, who wasn’t even at the party, is one of the eight now charged.
So far, Phelps has not been charged. But I hope that Richland County’s finest take care of that bong. That’s the most valuable piece of swimming memorabilia ever. Of course, two or three of them probably have already jizzed in it. Life as a cop is pretty boring when there’s no one on the street to bludgeon.
