Former NFL quarterback Drew Bledsoe is making a name for himself after retirement, this time as a high-profile vintner. No, that’s not somebody who “vintns,” but thanks for double-checking.

It has taken seven years for Bledsoe to get to this point, where he is able to offer samples of his creation to consumers, but in the true style of a man who was once the first overall pick in the NFL draft and helped usher a moribund franchise toward the top of the football world, he wants his wine to be the best.

“We’re trying as hard as we can to be one of the best wines in the world and we won’t cut any corners to get there,’’ he said.

He is off to a good start. Famed critic Robert Parker of The Wine Advocate gave Doubleback a rating of 91-94, which is “outstanding’’ on the newsletter’s scale. Ever the competitor, Bledsoe said somewhat under his breath that his group believes the rating was a bit low. –Boston Herald.

Outstanding, apparently, isn’t good enough for the guy that got somehow started in front of Tom Brady AND Tony Romo? Such high standards, sir. I don’t think much of him as a vintner. I liked him better when he was just a whiner. See what I did there? Eh, stuff it, it’s a slow day.

With Pacman Jones suspended for the season, NFL joke-writers such as myself had already taken a serious hit.  But this might be too much… Ladies and gentlemen, Drew Bledsoe has retired.  A 14-year veteran of the Patriots, Bills, and Cowboys, Bledsoe will be remembered for his cannon arm, complete immobility in the pocket, and crippling late-game interceptions.  He will be missed more than words can say.

It's a strange development.  As recently as a month ago, "Bledsoe" blogged about his excitement to join the free agent market: 

It’s only been 12 hours since I marched into Jerry [Jones]’s office and demand he cut me, but it feels like a lifetime. I’ve even stopped cutting my hair and shaving (which I normally do twice a day.) The freedom I am feeling right now… it’s… indescribable. It’s like eating a Burger for the first time after taking a day off Burgers.

So how did it happen? Well, you’ll hear many things on SportsCenter tonight. Stuff like “This was a salary cap decision.” That’s not true. What do I care if the Cowboys are over the salary cap? That’s not my problem. That had nothing to do with why I demanded to get cut.

Fare thee well, Drew.  I will remember your interceptions, your expert wearing of visors, and TonyHomo.com with the utmost fondness.  And don't be so sure about this retirement.  I hear the Raiders are looking for someone who can get the ball seventy yards downfield.

While making my usual rounds to appropriately chronicle the Cowboys' misery at the hands of the mighty C-HOX!!!, I stopped by TonyHomo.com last night… and learned, much to my dismay, that Really Drew Bledsoe is hanging up the laptop. His reasons:

I don't want to be like Tony Romo, and peak early then fizzle out into obscurity and show up at the ProBowl in one month feeling like a 7th grader who crashed a prom knowing that I don't deserve to be there, hanging around all the "grown ups" knowing that everybody thinks that Matt Hasselback or Jon Kitna are better quarterbacks than me and that I cost the Cowboys a chance to advance to the next round because I couldn't hold on to a football, and I smell, and I don't like Burgers.

If I can take off my hookers-and-booze With Leather hat for a moment: TonyHomo is a perfect example of what makes blogs a relevant and necessary addition to the sporting world. Until this season, I'd never particularly liked or identified with Drew Bledsoe — merely lamented that the Seahawks drafted Rick Mirer behind him — yet now I openly like him, even if the "him" that I like is the fabricated character of a fictional blog. It presents an alternate reality much more entertaining than the generically drab storylines that get repeated every season.

Okay, my hat's back on, and so is the hate. In my next post, I promise to call soccer players fairies.

In celebration of the Marine Corps birthday, all posts today will have a decided military flavor. 

A week ago I pointed out Drew Bledsoe's amazing blog, TonyHomo.com, which is penned by "Really Drew Bledsoe." Bledsoe, seeing an ally in the soon-to-be benched Trent Green, suggested Green start his own blog, and now we have the gift of Gaymon Huard, authored by "Really Trent Green." 

But quarter-blogging isn't reserved for the reserves. Tony Romo — or some reasonable facsimile — also has his own blog, and I encourage everyone to check it out, especially since the Dallas Observer is reporting that Romo is newly single.

Anyway, if you get tired of reading the best fake blogs by quarterbacks, I recommend (some of) the best of Marine Corps literature: With the Old Breed by E.B. Sledge, about the ugly, unheralded fights at Peleliu and Okinawa; Fields of Fire by newly elected Senator James Webb, which vivdly captures Marine small-unit leadership in Vietnam; Colder than Hell by Joseph Owen, about the frozen breakout from the Chosin Reservoir during the Korean War; and Anthony Swofford's Jarhead, which is almost universally hated by Marines, probably because it's a straightforward account of a lance corporal, and lance corporals do a lot of bitching. But it's funny and honest and earnest, and it's a well-crafted piece of literature.

Well, not really. But there's a site written from Bledsoe's point of view, and it's called TonyHomo.com, and it is my favorite thing I've seen on the Internet since I woke up 25 minutes ago. Certainly better than basketball scores, which is why I'm leading this morning with a sweet-ass blog instead of actual sports events.

Anyway, it's basically Bledsoe's diary as he works to get back the starting job in Dallas. 

At practice today I told Homo I would kick his ass at any event of the Quarterback Challenge on NFL Quarterback Club '96. Even the obstacle course and he could be Randall Cunningham. He was like "Drew, Come on, man. I'm trying to concentrate here." Goddammit this guy is such a pussy. How is he the starter!?

And also this:

Anyway, I'm off to play Madden, sub in Homo, and keep running QB sneaks until he gets injured… PS – I took a dump under his locker.

Homo's goin' back to the bench in no time.

Giants 36, Cowboys 22. A look back on last night's game: Eli Manning completed less than 50% of his passes and threw an interception in the red zone. Drew Bledsoe one-upped Manning with a terrible interception at the goal line with less than two minutes left in the first half, when a touchdown would have given the 'Boys the lead at the half. Well played, Drew. Well played.

But Bill Parcells — that wily old coot — benched Bledsoe and put in Tony Romo at the start of the third quarter. The home crowd erupted in cheers for their long-sought hero. And then… First pass: interception. Romo threw three picks in a half of work, including the game-sealing red zone pick-6 that I can only call Bledsonian. Ouch.

The bad thing about the Romo/Bledsoe bed-defecation isn't that the Cowboys lost — I think we can agree that's a good thing — but that it detracts from one of the other goats: Terrell Owens. His ridiculous drop on 4th-and-2 really deserves its share of the blame for the Cowboys loss.

Oh, and I guess the Giants deserve some credit, too. I think Tiki Barber cured polio at halftime or something.