Taiwan’s vaunted Next Media Animation is piecing together an animated, Walk The Line style biopic of Jeremy Lin, the first American-born NBA star of Chinese and Taiwanese heritage. If this first chapter (featuring Lin glowing gold with power and transmogrifying into a violent monkey is any indication) they’re just pasting Lin’s head onto Goku and badly adapting old episodes of Dragonball Z. Hopefully LeBron James and Dwyane Wade will show up as Androids before they’re done.
All anime and “Miami beating the dogsh*t out of the Knicks” jokes aside, the best part of the video isn’t Lin morphing into a “little monkey” and breaking somebody’s vase … it’s the fact that he’s saved from a lifetime lived as a monkey by Jesus himself, who works a little magic, teaches him to behave and gives him Go Go Gadget spring shoes. And here I thought NMA was being faithful to the Wiki page.
I’m guessing part two covers Golden State and his rise to prominence in New York, and part three puts lightning behind some guys with “journalist” written across their chests and has them tear Lin down with negative puns like “LINept!” or “LINeffective!” as soon as he starts having bad games.
You know, for some reason I thought Ndamukong Suh transmogrifying from the Bob’s Big Boy to humiliate the Cleveland Browns was going to be the best part of this video, but no, in the very next scene he uses a Spirit Bomb to attack Jay Cutler (which, while hilarious, doesn’t seem necessary … you had to break out the Spirit Bomb to defeat Jay Cutler?). And somewhere near the end, Suh gets put in a circus cage as punishment for killing Evan Dietrich-Smith, dismembering him and eating his bones, complete with Resident Evil 1 blood spray. A part of me wishes it’d actually gone down like that, just to see what the NFL would do.
