To their credit, that’s mostly just “ugh, look at this asshole”. Via Mentality Magazine.

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Links

30 One-Hit Wonders Who Deserve Their Own TV Shows - 31. “Shave Tonight”. Eagle Eye Cherry gives you tips on how to prepare for that ever-important first date, because tomorrow you’ll be gone. [UPROXX]

Ranking the 10 Most Profoundly Stupid Characters Currently on Television - There should be a follow-up list of the most profoundly stupid characters EVER so Kim Bauer could rank. OH NO A COUGAR LET ME RUN TO THIS HERMIT RAPIST’S HOUSE AND CHANGE CLOTHES. [Warming Glow]

RIAA-Ruined Rap: The 20 Worst Platinum Hip-Hop Albums Of All Time - LOL at Chingy having a platinum album. And while I’m at it, there’s no way Vanilla Ice’s album is worse than Willennium. [Smoking Section]

Five Reasons the XBox 720 Should Embrace Used Games - The only way I’m buying an XBox 720 is if I can ride it through a skatepark. [Gamma Squad]

What to Expect When You’re Expecting is Dr. Pepper 10 for Chicks - And if you drink Dr. Pepper 10 while watching What To Expect When You’re Expecting it turns you into a hermaphrodite. [Film Drunk]

If The Posters For Oscar-Nominated Movies Were Honest - I flipped through this WAITING for the making-fun-of-Hugo poster that would make me rage and quit the UPROXX network. Thankfully it didn’t show up. [UPROXX]

Life Has Turned Out OK For Zahia Dehar - If you missed this yesterday, UNF. Also, sorta ew. [With Leather]

The 53 Most Ridiculous Outfits From Paris Fashion Week - Or, “every outfit from Paris Fashion Week”. The only thing worse than people who are into fashion is people who are into music reviews. [Buzzfeed]

17 Cats Sitting In Things - I feel like if you add up all the random numbers from these lists it’d unlock the hatch on ‘Lost’. 17? I’m sure you can find 3 more things a cat is sitting in. [HuffPost Comedy]

11 Signs That Pat Sajak Is Always Drunk - The guy’s job has been saying “heh, continue playing the easiest game show in history, everybody” for like 40 years. I’d be drunk all the time, too. [The FW]

Eating Only Chicken Nuggets for 15 Years Lands British Girl in the Hospital - The worst part is that she’s got a bunch of posed photos with McDonald’s stuff, and nobody ever stopped to tell her she was being a weird spoiled little regressive creep. [Brobible]

7 Great Movies That Take Place in Freezing Weather - I don’t know when Mystery, Alaska started being great and not just a 2 hour illustration of how the New York Rangers would almost lose to a bunch of random citizens. [Unreality]

Dr Pepper’s “It’s not for women!” ad campaign for its new line of low-calorie soda, Dr Pepper 10, is a particularly offensive piece of goonery. It makes Miller Lite’s moronic “Man up!” commercials look like nothing short of a brave stance for equality. Some noted experts — me and one guy who retweeted me — have even declared that everyone at Dr Pepper responsible for the campaign should be “shot out of a cannon into a tub of slime.” Harsh, perhaps, but certainly not unreasonable given the circumstances.

However, this weekend there was a silver lining to their meatheaded ad push. During halftime of the SEC Championship, they sponsored a competition where two contestants threw footballs into giant soda cans, with the winner receiving a $100,000 college scholarship. The winner was University of Nevada-Reno freshman Ivon Padilla-Rodriguez, and she proceeded to cry and give a heartwarming speech that included the line “Dr Pepper is seriously the best thing that ever happened to me.” (As pointed out by some guy named Matt at SB Nation, she and her family have been having money problems, so the scholarship was especially helpful.) After she made that somewhat poorly-worded claim in a moment of excitement, some people rushed to crack jokes at her expense. I will have none of it. The whole thing is adorable and I wish her nothing but the best. I am a total sap for these kinds of things.

So, look: Dr Pepper is still a company run by misogynistic creeps, but they lucked into some good public relations here. And I implore them to take the ball and run with it in a more positive direction. I think it was either the famous Greek philosopher Plato or Roc-A-Fella records artist Beanie Sigel who said, “Son, you gotta get your soul clean. Before they blow them horns like Coltrane.”