On Saturday, No. 23 Ole Miss men’s basketball had a pretty tough time holding off a less-than-stellar Auburn Tigers squad, as the Rebels just barely squeaked out a 2-point win. Auburn’s Frankie Sullivan missed a three as time expired, making the game’s hero junior guard and all-around spaz Marshall Henderson, who sank two free throws to make the difference in the final score. He was also second in scoring for the Rebels with 15 points, but we only care about those two points, because they show how clutch Henderson thinks he is.

That’s why, when the clock expired, Henderson made his way to the Auburn student section, as you can see in that delightful GIF above that was posted by College Hoops Journal (H/T to Storming the Floor). As you can see, Henderson is reminding the Tigers fans that he goes to Ole Miss, which is why he is extending the front of his jersey in an outward manner, as if to say, “Excuse me, opposing fans. Have you seen this jersey? It is mine.”

Or perhaps he just wanted to know if he got any ketchup on it. Either way, the above GIF is glorious, and there are many reasons why, but I wanted to highlight my favorites in our latest Scene Breakdown.

Read the rest of this entry »

Olympic gold medalist and guy who trademarked the word “JEAH”, Ryan Lochte turned 28-years old on August 3, which was almost 8 weeks ago, and that’s important to remember because he was the guest of honor at Liv in Miami this past weekend, as he celebrated his birthday. At some point Locthe morphed into a sorority girl turning 21, because even if the excuse is that he didn’t have a real birthday because he was in London, that’s BS, because by all accounts the 2012 Summer Olympics was one giant orgy.

The aspiring actor even got behind the turntables (read: a bro’s Air Mac) to play DJ at his own party, but the big news is that he made a new best bro in Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino. Is anyone on this planet even surprised at this point?

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s like when Jessica Simpson puts her fingers in her mouth and makes “widdle ol’ me” face because she’s monetized being dumb. We get what you’re doing, but it doesn’t make you any less actually stupid.

That’s the situation Brooklyn Nets forward and former ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ extra Kris Humphries finds himself facing in the latest video from Funny Or Die, ‘Kris Humphries Is A Douchebag’. Kris visits some local improv comics who think they’re awesome new representation who believe he should own the villain label he’s been given and embrace douchebaggery on every level, including wearing sunglasses indoors, wearing a fedora under any non-film-noir circumstances and letting people wipe their asses with Kris Humphries’ Face toilet paper.

It’s funny, I guess. It seems like something Saturday Night Live might’ve done if they’d gotten stuck letting Kris Humphries host, and his only talking were “plays basketball” and “people hate him”. The cynic in me says Kris could better improve his image by trying harder and being better at basketball, but whatever, he’s wearing Kanye glasses and the kids love it.

Yesterday, we had a pretty great discussion about the young Texas Rangers fan who cried when Mitch Moreland tossed a ball into the stands and it was caught by a couple that spent the next 10 minutes taking photos of each other with that ball. Now we actually have a couple updates to that story – of which the moral was kids need to learn early that nobody likes a crybaby – that make it so much better.

For starters, the male half of the couple that ended up with the ball is Sean Leonard, the Deputy Director of Finance for the city of Southlake, Texas. He was at the game with his fiancé, Shannon Moore (well done, bro), and he now claims that he was completely oblivious to the crying child and what was happening around him. In fact, he actually demanded an apology from New York Yankees broadcaster Michael Kay, who was rather critical of the couple for not giving the ball to the child.

“My fiance Shannon and I were honestly unaware of the situation of the little boy sitting next to us last night since we were so caught up in the excited and moment of being at our first Ranger’s baseball game together,” Sean Leonard wrote in a statement posted by WFAA.

As for Kay, Leonard said, “He took an event and sensationalized it, threw it out there, never checked or validated the facts.” (Via USA Today)

Ugh. That statement makes me hate that I’ve defended this guy.

According to this ‘bag, the couple actually offered the ball to the child once they realized what happened, but the Rangers had already given a new ball to the child, who will soon start crying every time he wants something, because people just taught him that it gets him what he wants.

Fortunately, the toddler’s parents might try to dissuade him from developing this habit. Cameron Shore’s parents took the tot on the Today show to talk about their newsworthy ordeal, and – excuse me if I come across as a little happy about this – they actually admitted that they will use this experience to teach their child that crying won’t get him everything. There is actually hope for parenting in America.

Wait, no there’s not.

Read the rest of this entry »

In today’s hottest “NASCAR driver might not have a great perspective on the world” news, driver Kasey Kahne offended every single human woman on Twitter when he saw a lady breastfeeding her child at the grocery store and jumped on the Internet to complain about it.

At first you’re like, “maybe he just turned out of the dog food aisle and suddenly there was a tit”, which is reasonably jarring.

But then … no, he was disgusted by it. He was disgusted by what he saw your body doing.

Yeah, you stupid bitch, how is he supposed to buy saltines and Mountain Dew and whatever else it is NASCAR drivers eat now? Unfortunately the expository tweet between the two was deleted, but if you need to know exactly what transported him from Kroger to Barf’s Burgers:

Read the rest of this entry »

Links

Christmas Commercials from the 1950s and ’60s Are the Best - … but none of them are as good as that McDonald’s one. And the McDonald’s one isn’t as good as Peter returning home for Folgers. [Warming Glow]

Television’s Biggest Douchebags in 2011 - I’m not sure Glenn Beck qualifies as a “douchebag” so much as he does for “person who should not be allowed to say things on TV and influence people because he’s basically a televangelist and is making things way worse”. [Warming Glow]

The Prometheus Trailer Is Finally Here - I really hope this movie ends with Catwoman kicking Michael Fassbender in the nuts. [Film Drunk]

The KSK Sex & Fantasy Football Mailbag: Aaron rodgers Is Going To Screw Us, Isn’t He - Probably. Tim Tebow isn’t going to screw us, though, he’s going to be a nice person forever. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Hollywood’s Hottest Jews: Some People Are Just A Little More “Chosen” Than Others - Yes, Alison Brie and Kat Dennings are amazing, but holy sh*t this article title. If I wrote “hollywood’s hottest jews” on something and published it I’d probably hang myself. [Pajiba]

5 Design Problems Video Games Really Need to Fix - Is “that frost dragon grabbing me with his mouth and shaking me around until I’ve died” a design problem? Because somebody needs to fix that one, too. [Gamma Squad]

5 Features That Will Make Me Buy The iPad 3 - One feature that will make me buy the iPad 3: my girlfriend’s angry face. [Smoking Section]

The 30 Craziest Facebook Stories Of 2011 - Also known as “cool story bro 2011″. None of these stories are as interesting as that picture I took with J. Worthington “Honest John” Foulfellow at Disneyland. [Buzzfeed]

MMA Gif Party: The Best Gifs Of 2011 - I can’t decide whether this list makes me like MMA more or less. Probably more. [Cage Potato]

The Most Awesome, And The Most Awesomely Bad, Metal Album Covers Of The Year - I can’t believe people still make metal albums. [FARK]

The Seven Best Steven Spielberg Movies - In order: Raiders, Empire of the Sun, Jaws, Jurassic Park, Schindler’s List, E.T., Always. Ha, just kidding on the last one. [Unreality]