It's true, he doesn't. Sign credit: @Jo3yHuds

Pre-show notes:

- I mentioned in yesterday’s Best And Worst Of WWE Elimination Chamber ’12 that I’m looking for a fill-in for Best and Worst of Wrestlemania. The response has been overwhelming, so please, if you don’t get a personalized response in the next few days, don’t worry — I’m terrible at e-mails and am considering you. I promise!

- Don’t be afraid to leave a comment on this report. Not really afraid of that on the “Eve Torres is a bitch” week, but still, we’ve build a great community of intelligent, funny wrestling fans and you should be a part of it, because seriously, you aren’t gonna find it anywhere else.

- Big thanks again to Casey/THESTINGER for helping me out with gifs and pictures. Be sure to visit his brand new gifs Tumblr for the stuff I didn’t use.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- This is a late edition to the report, but the greatest thing other than a sign on Raw has happened to me. I participated in today’s #AskAGM hashtag, and got this response:

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Pre-show notes:

- As of right now, I’m not sure what the status is on the Best and Worst Of Royal Rumble ’12. I’m assuming it’ll still happen, but come to terms with the reality that it may not. Hopefully a Rumble 2000 report, two open threads and a Best And Worst Of Raw report in four days is enough wrestling content to keep you feeling fulfilled. If I keep up this pace they’re gonna sh*t-can me from With Leather and you’ll have to read my reports on Scoop This.

- Comments are loved and appreciated. So are “likes”. Clicking like is even easier than commenting, so at least do that. Last night’s Open Discussion Thread featured over 1,500 comments (holy crap) so we’re gonna start working on the likes.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- A.J. picture only tangentially related.

- The biggest and most profuse Thank You ever goes out to Marty Springall @CranberryNapalm for providing high quality screengrabs while 1) my normal computer is down and 2) WWE Fan Nation is being weird about uploading videos. Couldn’t have done it without you, guy. FOLLOW HIM AS A THANK YOU. Gifs contained within are, as always, courtesy of Jerusalem at Punchsport Pagoda.

- Additional reading: UGO’s Raw Report. I disagree with him about … basically everything.

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Hey there, friends!

- As I’m sure you’re all aware by now, Brandon took the week off in order to celebrate his girlfriend Destiny’s birthday. I know some of you might not think it’s a valid reason to skip out on writing jokes about pro wrestling, but it’s something I totally understand. I know when I celebrate the birth of a DT, writing is almost a logistical impossibility. Y’know, on account of the violent, involuntary shaking and the formication paranoia. Keep a vigilant eye out for those silverfish, Brandon!

- Anyway, my name is Justin O’Connor. I’m not Brandon, but I’m a lot like him. Well, in the same way Mega Bloks are a lot like LEGO. I might not be what you wanted, but I’m “close enough,” and since your parents are inattentive monsters you’ll have to just suck it up and find some use for those awful brown and green pieces. Like, say, attempting to swallow them until you get the toys you asked for in the first place. Or until the school places you under precautionary care and you’re not allowed to open a carton of chocolate milk without adult supervision.

- What I’m getting at is if you guys squint really hard and skim through the pop culture references fast enough, you might be able to delude yourselves into not being able to tell the difference. If that doesn’t work, you’re probably best off treating this week’s column like a regular Brandon column; except you just found out he’s underwent severe head trauma and now everyone’s just being polite by telling him how great he’s doing “in spite of his condition,” between giving one another “holy sh*t” eyes. Trust me, it’ll be easier for everyone involved.

- I don’t have any personal stuff to plug, so you’re off the hook this week. Not really though. Leave a comment.

Now that the formalities are out of the way, let’s tell some jokes about pro graps!

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