Tito and guest at a GQ party.

Last July at UFC 148, Tito Ortiz was inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame right before he lost what was presumably the last fight of his career, a rubber match with Forrest Griffin. Griffin and Ortiz first met at UFC 59, which Ortiz won, and then they faced off again at UFC 106, which Griffin won. And with a unanimous decision, Griffin closed the book on their intense rivalry, and he even added some dick words to rub salt in Ortiz’s retiring wounds. So it’s pretty safe to say that Ortiz didn’t necessarily retire the way he would have liked to.

That said, as Ortiz is currently recovering from neck surgery and awaiting yet another ACL surgery, the 38-year old has plenty of time on his hands to think about the future and even a little about the past. He also has had a few chances to talk about it all which gives us people who have twice as much free time on our hands the opportunity to break down random quotes and freak out about them like this…

TITO ORTIZ WANTS TO FIGHT AGAIN! Okay, not really. Maybe.

Read the rest of this entry »

The past two years have been pretty tough on Tiger Woods, what with that whole wife finding out that he was banging escorts, porn stars and Perkins waitresses and then that whole other plummeting to 52nd on the World Golf Rankings because he suddenly sucks. And factor in Elin Nordegren taking him to the cleaners for a few hundred million and then shaking her ass in front of any billionaire with eyes, and life has kind of sucked for the guy whose life was seemingly unsuckable.

Well say goodbye to those losing ways, friends, because El Tigre is back in the W column. Trailing Zach Johnson by one stroke heading into the final round of the Chevron World Challenge, Woods shot a 3-under round to secure his first tournament victory since the 2009 Australian Masters. Fist pumps and chest bumps, big guy.

Asked to describe his feelings after ending his lengthy title drought, 14-times major champion Woods replied: “It feels awesome, whatever that is.

“I know it’s been a while, but also for some reason it feels like it hasn’t (been a while) because when I was coming down the stretch there I felt so comfortable.

“Was I nervous? Absolutely. I’m always nervous in that position but it’s a comfortable feeling, and I enjoy being in that position,” added Woods, who will rise to 21st when the new world rankings are issued on Monday.

(Via the Montreal Gazette)

Tiger is like the New York Yankees and Duke Blue Devils all rolled into one when it comes to the polarity of golf fans. I know a ton of people who have reveled in his failures over the past two years for reasons like, “Screw him, he cheated on his hot wife” or “He just seems like a pompous a-hole” or “It’s just not fun when he wins all the time.” But I think it’s a hell of a lot of fun when he wins all the time.

I love seeing the other golfers like Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els act all pissy when Tiger runs away with a major tourney, and while I still appreciate when younger guys like Johnson, Rory McIlroy and especially Bubba Watson win, it’s just so much more entertaining when Tiger is locked in. And hopefully he celebrated this victory locked between two Vivid Girls.

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We haven’t had a good comeback story that didn’t involve Brett Favre or a cell phone lately, so here’s one for you: Tiki Barber, the NFL’s 12th leading rusher all-time, is plotting a return to the NFL.

That’s probably good, since Barber, 35, doesn’t seem to be all that great away from the gridiron. He didn’t amount to a hill of beans as an analyst on “Football Night In America.” And then dumped his pregnant wife for some intern last April and then got fired from the Today show. Why wouldn’t he try to come back?

Barber, who sources said has already filed the appropriate paperwork to the league, will become a free agent. The 35-year-old back, who turns 36 in April, retired in 2007. He played 10 seasons, all for the Giants, finishing his career as the franchise’s all-time leading rusher.

–SI.com

Yeah, all-time. He was so good that the Giants won the Super Bowl the first year he was gone. Come on, Tiki. Aren’t you really just doing this for the money?

In June 2010, the New York Post reported Barber was broke and couldn’t pay his divorce settlement with his ex-wife.

Thought so.

There reportedly was an outside chance (and I mean Harry Doyle “Juuust a bit outside” chance) that noted Jesus freak Kurt Warner and his three Super Bowl appearances might return to the Arizona Cardinals for a 17th season of pro football. The reasoning behind such a move, admittedly, seemed rather sound on its face.

Some believe Warner assumed he’d automatically get a job covering the NFL on one of the networks. To date, he hasn’t. And, by now, the assignments for 2011 are largely firmed up.

So if Warner won’t have a TV gig in 2010, the thinking is that he could be lured back to the gridiron.

And the Cardinals, who are saddled with Matt Leinart and Derek Anderson, could be interested in bringing him back. –PFT.

But Warner already has quashed (squashed?) that rumor in the bud. Read the rest of this entry »

If you saw the main event for the Strikeforce Evolution telecast on Showtime last night, you enjoyed what might be one of the great MMA comebacks of the year, if not of all time. Vince from FilmDrunk saw Scott Smith, an alleged scrub that handed Cung Le and his feet of fury their first loss ever in MMA. Vince brings the poop.

Cung Le was absolutely destroying Scott Smith with crazy spinning back kicks and shit for three rounds — came close to getting stopped a couple times — and then with a minute left Smith lands a left hook and then pounds him out for the win. And this is like the third or fourth time Smith has won with a hail mary KO. He also made Strikeforce look stupid because they basically did for Cung Le what the UFC did for Kimbo — give him what they thought was an easy fight against a guy with no ground game. Oops.

The whole fight is after the jump. Skip to the 16-minute mark for the quick coup-de-grace, a left hook from Smith that’s literally so compact and quick that you’ll miss it the first time around. It’s just totally mind-numbing how dude just gets kicked for 12 minutes and then lands one punch to pull this thing out. My stepdad had a similar experience that he refers to as “his first marriage.” Not funny ha-ha. Just funny sad. Read the rest of this entry »

New NFLPA executive director DeMaurice Smith has asked Tony Dungy to serve as a liason between the players and the league, proving once again that you can always get a job if you have a strong work ethic and hate gays.

Dungy confirmed to ESPN senior NFL analyst Chris Mortensen that he has been approached by Smith and is interested in the position. Dungy said that Smith informed him that he would be in touch shortly to better define the job.

“It’s certainly something that’s close to my heart, having been associated with the NFL for so long,” Dungy said.

Dungy’s role would seem to be involved in dealing with “player issues,” which seems to be somewhere between Gabe Kaplan’s character in Welcome Back Kotter and Ice T’s role in Law & Order, Special Victims Unit. Tony Dungy will be the beacon of light that has all 1,600 or so NFL players abstaining from sex before marriage, going to church, and driving only moderately extravagant vehicles. But what about whores? Even a devout Christian like Dungy needs a juicy whore once in a while. Of course he probably refers to it as “Bowling Night.” Which is great, because actual bowling blows.