This has been everywhere already, but the game in question is tomorrow, so whatever. This is an advertisement for an LA Clippers game tomorrow celebrating Black History Month. For those of you pigmentally-challenged, Black History Month is February. Here’s some of the copy that accompanied this fine piece of print adversing.

In honor of Black History Month, the Clippers will admit 1,000 underprivileged children free…

“Underprivileged”, of course, means “black”, because we all know it does. Just like when Michael Vick is called a “thug” or Eddie Murphy is called a “transvestite lover”. Of course, sportswriters have spent years clamoring for cheap tickets for kids and now Sterling’s getting buried for it. He should just blame it on Charlie Sheen.

There’s my Sheen joke for the hour. I thought I would have enjoyed that more.

Billionaire entertainment mogul David Geffen has been trying for years to purchase the Los Angeles Clippers, and despite his best efforts and promises to raise the franchise to greatness, current owner and selective renter Donald Sterling will not sell. Sterling, widely regarded as one of the worst owners in professional sports history, has recently shed his cheapskate image to little success, but Geffen is promising Clippers fans and Sterling the ultimate prize – LeBron James.

Geffen sat courtside at Game 2 of the NBA Finals with LeBron’s close friend and business manager Maverick Carter, and the King elected not to attend to avoid creating a distraction from the game itself. The 67-year old Geffen is already friends with the 25-year old James, so the possibility of him making due on his word is hardly a longshot. The problem is that Sterling refuses to sell the franchise – or at least the majority share – because he has long declared that it is “an asset of remarkable value.” Added Sterling: “In the meantime, I just had a remarkable meal at Taco Bell and need to take an astonishing dump.”

Straighten your double Windsor, Los Angeles Business:

Based on Forbes magazine’s valuations of NBA franchises, the Clippers are the 23rd most valuable franchise in the league at $295 million. It bears mentioning that the most valuable franchise happens to be the Clippers’ roommates at Staples Center, the Los Angeles Lakers, who are currently in the NBA finals.

Based on the $295 million valuation, a 51 percent stake would cost Geffen, who has a net worth estimated around $4.5 billion, around $151 million.

Geffen believes that his history in the recording industry and partnership in DreamWorks could open endless doors for LeBron to become an unparalleled global icon. In related news, I was once on the jumbotron at a XFL game. Geffen also believes that the core of players already in place for the Clippers – Baron Davis, Chris Kaman, Blake Griffin and Eric Gordon – could offer LeBron an immediate shot at ousting the Lakers as LA’s title team.

Sterling, however, will simply not sell a majority share of the team, but he does have some nice apartments he’s willing to rent, so long as you’re not black or Latino.

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The world is waiting for LeBron James to decide where he will choke in the playoffs next year, but the wild speculations as to where he will sign have already started. The Chicago Tribune cited an ‘anonymous league source’ (aka a snitch who would rather not be fired) that NBA wheeler-and-dealer William Wesley is selling the idea of a package deal with LeBron and Coach Cal.

League sources said Sunday that noted NBA power broker William Wesley continues to work back channels to sell John Calipari and James as a package deal to franchises such as the Bulls, Nets and Clippers with coaching vacancies and salary cap room.

Coach Cal has already tweeted about the subject, but he’s a scumbag with a record as clean as a Willie Nelson drug test.

Obviously, the chances of this happening anywhere are slim, and Cleveland should still be regarded as LeBron’s home for next season. A package deal in LA, New Jersey, or Chicago is not going to happen. Read the rest of this entry »