Welcome to my day-late weekly predictions that will astound and amaze you, because they’re so incredibly tuned into to a psychic frequency that nobody else on this planet could come up with them. Since I started making predictions a few weeks ago, I’ve been right about everything. Even the stuff that might have been wrong was technically right, because I say it was. It’s not really hard being a psychic.

This week, we take a look into the crystal ball to see if David Stern really will stick to his guns and stop the L.A. Clippers from flopping, Matt Leinart can turn Carson Palmer into the perfect QB and if anyone would ever believe that Phil Jackson would even remotely entertain the idea of coaching a team as dysfunctional and broken as the Orlando Magic. SIM SIM SALABIM!

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The cast for season 14 of ABC’s ‘Dancing with the Stars’ was unveiled this morning, and to answer the questions you may be having so far:

1. Celebrities and tangentially-related people from the world of sports are once again participating, following in the footsteps of former winners like Emmitt Smith, Hines Ward and Shawn Johnson, as well as former hilariously awful losers like Evander Holyfield, Kenny Mayne and Ron Artest.

2. No, I can’t believe ‘Dancing With The Stars’ has 14 seasons, either. It started in 2005, so you’d think it’d have what, maybe seven? But reality shows have seasons corresponding to literal seasons so we’re up to 14, and ‘Survivor’ is about to start season 470.

This year’s sports folk include:

Donald Driver - Green Bay Packers wide receiver and the football player whose name sounds the most like a wrestling finish. I’m calling at least one instance of him running and jumping into the crowd at the end of a dance.

Martina Navratilova - Tennis great and four-time Wimbledon champion. Unfortunately she’s probably gonna get the “WAIT A MINUTE, GAY PEOPLE EXIST? SHIELD THE EYES OF MY CHILDREN BLERGHHH” Chaz Bono dancing celebrity thing.

Maria Menounos - Super hot TV anchor and ‘Extra’ correspondent who consistently reps the New England Patriots and recently gained an increasing fame for losing a bet and being forced to wear a New York Giants bikini with no Giants logos on it that was also Patriots colors, but nobody noticed because holy sh*t her torso.

A brief recap of the remaining cast (including STEVE URKEL~) is after the jump.

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I have a very short list of athletes that I believe it is impossible to hate – Albert Pujols and the Iron Sheik. And depending on the outfit I’ll throw Maria Sharapova on that list sometimes as well, but most of the time it’s just the first two. Lately, though, I’ve been thinking that Aaron Rodgers deserves a place on my list because he’s basically just awesome.

Rodgers currently leads the NFL in passer rating and his Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers are 5-0, and I understand that both of those facts are probably enough to make fans of the other teams in the NFC North hate him. But looking at it from a logical standpoint, the guy is just so seemingly squeaky clean and great at what he does that it’s impossible to not at least respect the hell out of him.

In fact, here are three quick reasons why you should love Aaron Rodgers:

1) In only his 7th NFL season and 4th as a starter, he has already destroyed Brett Favre’s legacy in Green Bay. Granted, he had a lot of help from Favre, who constantly destroys his own legacy better than anyone, but Rodgers not only won a Super Bowl, but he also earned the game MVP, something Favre never did. Rodgers also doesn’t throw interceptions on every other drive.

2) He might have slept with Erin Andrews. And Michelle Beadle wanted a piece, too.

3) Most importantly, he has a great sense of humor. Sure, the WCW title belt is a little odd, but the mustaches are sort of cool.

But the ultimate example is that in the three seasons leading up to his chance to finally be the starter, Rodgers photobombed nearly every team picture of the Packers’ captains. That’s pretty damn funny and impressive. And yes, I’m aware that this isn’t breaking news, but I was not aware of it until today, so it’s brand spanking new to me. With that said, enjoy Rodgers’ greatest photobombing efforts.

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