Fuel’s Ultimate Answers segment (which I’ll pretend is entirely written and organized by Brittney Palmer) asked a bunch of UFC fighters which superhero they would be. Some of the answers are surprisingly nerdy — Rashad Evans earns endless cool points from me for wanting to be Nightcrawler, and Demetrious Johnson has a pretty solid understanding of how the Green Lantern’s ring works — but some are just straight-up meathead terrible, like Donald Cerrone saying he wants to be “The Invisible Man” (direct quote: “OM BE VISIBLE MAN”).

The funniest offense is from Brodus Clay Tito ORTIZ, who says he wants to be “Beastman” from the X-Men because of his intelligence. As YouTube user Kevin Hall points out, “he’s actually called Beast, so there goes your intelligence.” I like to think that Tito got the name right and instead got the TEAM wrong, and really just wants to be Beastman from ‘He-Man and the Masters of the Universe’. “I wanna be a big orange guy who looks kinda scary, but sucks and never accomplishes anything, and is less effective a henchman than the guy with a robot mouth and a mer-man in a breastplate!” Jenna Jameson could be either of those two.

Oh, and before I forget, f**k BJ Penn for wanting to be Superman because he’s “better than all the other superheroes”. If I get to pick, I’m being Captain Marvel, so I can kick BJ Penn’s ass.

[h/t to Jessica @ Leg Kick TKO]

Normally this would be the place I’d hype our Best And Worst Of WWE Smackdown Live-Blog, but tonight is the big UFC 141 event live on pay-per-view from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada, and we’re keeping it real. The live-blog will return starting next week, but for now I want to know where you’re watching the fights, what you think’s gonna happen, what you think WHILE it’s happening and what you thought when it was done.

So, open discussion thread. I’m not the most schooled-in-MMA blogger out there, so let me know what to expect, and what I should be excited for beyond a geometric shape full of blood and the possibility of an F5. Let me hear you, jerks! If this goes well (and gets more than the usual four comments* in comparison to WWE’s 100+) we’ll keep it going, and I’ll make an effort to cover more things that are actually sports.

The full results and weigh-in video are below. :

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One Way Ticket To Snubtown! Breaking Down The Pro Bowl Rosters - When did Ray Lewis get the “you can be in the Pro Bowl forever no matter what” Derek Jeter card, and how do we get it away from him? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

…And Then Rajon Rondo Airballed A Lay-up - Mhoops! This has got to be the most Brandon Stroud Playing Horse shot in the history of the NBA. [Smoking Section]

The Greatest Sportscasting Moments Of 2011 - Jon Bois, WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE! [SB Nation]

Video: In Nate Diaz’s Defense, Donald Cerrone Shouldn’t Have ‘Put His Stupid-Ass Cowboy Hat All Up On’ Him - Stuff like this is way worse than wrestling, I don’t care how real it is. I do not want to see someone get into a shoving match because another guy’s cowboy hat was “all up on him”. [Cage Potato]

Humpday Mashup Dump: Skyrim Edition - I wanted to make an arrow in the knee joke, but I bought the game like two weeks too late and people have microscopic attention spans and a comedic expiration date of “the second time I’ve seen something”. Same thing happened to me with Portal. F**k you, the cake is still funny. [Gamma Squad]

The Weeping At Kim Jong Il’s Funeral Was Predictably Ridiculous - North Korea is more or less the “tough biker guy crying in fear when he sees a puppy” of people in real life. Like, I want to make fun of them, but Jesus, how f**ked up are they? Someone introduce Miley Cyrus to that country, stat. [UPROXX]

‘Modern Family’ Recut As A Horror Movie - Great, now it’s going to win all the SCREAM awards meant for the horror recut of Parks and Rec. [UPROXX]

Ben Affleck Plays Serious Harry Ellis - The best idea for a Die Hard prequel ever. Seriously, I would pay to watch two hours of Harry Ellis being a non-satirical American Psycho. [Film Drunk]

2011′s Most Popular Torrent Searches Prove Something We’ve Known All Along - I love that you have to have a qualifier to include WWE as TV. Hey, I’m a pussy vegan and I’m the one searching ‘WWE’. How else am I supposed to get the right pictures for the Best And Worst Of Raw? [Warming Glow]

Michele Bachmann Saying Literally Anything She Can On Fox News To Feign Iowa Momentum - As bad as things get, at least we can count on never having a lady who acts like this as our President. Terrifying. [Buzzfeed]