Being an NFL replacement ref is easy, right? You just know a lot about football, learn what all the hand gestures mean and speak clearly into a microphone for what, ten seconds at a time?

Meet Don King, a guy who lucked into a scab position and should be BORN to talk, because his name is f**king “Don King”. Don had a little trouble spitting it out during the second quarter of Wednesday night’s Patriots-Giants preseason game, and if the embarrassment of having a stadium full of people boo you for being terrible isn’t enough, he’ll have the televised broadcast full of pro football players laughing at him to make it as bad as possible. Ugh, look at his poor mouth. It looks like an asshole.

Why was he so shaken up, you think? It could be because of this:

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Well, there goes Catholicism. The New York Post reports that legendary boxing promoter/racketeer Don King will meet with his holiness Pope Benedict XVI next week.

The papal meeting came about through Luca Messi, a super-middleweight King put in a big fight in Chicago two years ago… Messi has a brother who is a priest and who agreed to set up an audience with the pope. King is in Paris promoting Saturday's sold-out rematch of last year's dramatic slugfest at Madison Square Garden between O'Neil Bell and Jean-Marc Mormeck. Then, King will be honored at a festival in Bergamo, Italy, the Messi brothers' hometown, before his pilgrimage to Rome.

Let me make sure I have the timeline right: First, Don King — a guy who spent four years in prison for manslaughter and has a reputation for being the greedy bastard who ruined pro boxing — promotes his fighter who attacked his sparring partner with a hatchet. Then he gets honored at an Italian festival before meeting with the pope.

Hmmm… nope, nothing wrong there. Makes sense to me. I just hope he has time to stop by Westminster Abbey on the way back. It would be a shame if he had to be knighted via teleconference.