The Stephen Strasburg (shown left after a night with Tim Kurkjian and Buster Olney) hype machine finally rolled into Washington DC last night, where the record for largest collection of bandwagon fans (40,315 to be exact), set in 2008 by the Boston Celtics, was finally broken. DC fans were in awe as Strasburg struck out all but one of the Pirates he faced, finishing with 14 Ks through 7 innings of work. He only surrendered 4 hits, one of which was a 2 run home run from Delwyn Young. Stevie would also get the win, getting run support through home runs by Ryan Zimmerman, Adam Dunn, and Josh Willingham. Strasburg definitely proved that he has the potential to have a long career in baseball.

The praise from the usual, talking head subjects has been sickening. The guy pitched a great an amazing game, but I’m not going to cream my jeans just yet. It was only one start, at home, in front of a capacity crowd; of course he’s going to be bringing his best stuff in a situation like that. Obviously, he’s talented. Guys don’t hit triple digits on radar guns as consistently as he does very often, but he needs to handle some adversity (which I’m sure he’ll see playing in Washington) before he gets the blue carpet treatment into Cooperstown. Highlights of last night after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Hey everybody, I've decided to kill the weekly "Doin' It Well" feature.  I still really appreciate those of you who make funny comments on this site, and I still have barely-contained contempt for those of you who can't put a sentence together, but Doin' It Well was an absurdly time-consuming sinkhole of effort that generally took two people and two-plus hours to write and format.  And the result was something masturbatory and not very interesting to casual readers.

However, for those of you who crave some kind of reward for writing something funny on a blog, fear not, for help is on the way.  An upcoming development on WL will be a points system where you can credit people for a good comment.  Basically, instead of writing "+1" you'll actually be able to give someone that +1.  And of course, you'll also be able to subtract points from the ham-fisted mongoloids who regularly make appearances, too.  Because it wouldn't be With Leather if we couldn't punish idiocy.

Anyway, more on this feature when our tech guy finishes it up.  I'm certain that it will in no way be an absolute train wreck. 

Doin' It Well is a celebration of some of the best comments from the previous week at With Leather.  It is compiled by the editorial staff and runs every Monday.

I've fallen into the habit of railing against the evils of unfunny and lazy commenting in this feature, and I want to take a break from that to say, Hey everyone, great job last week.  I had more fun reading the comments last week than I did writing the site.

And, while I'm on the subject of writing for this site, I want to take a moment to point out that no matter how lazy I am — and I'm pretty friggin' lazy — I'll never fall into the blogger habit of writing, "Insert joke about _______ here" when there's an easy target.  Why do people do that?  If it's such an easy target for jokes, how about, I don't know, actually inserting a joke?  Seriously.  I'm lazy, but I'll at least work hard to think of something marginally less unfunny.

Like these outstanding comments (watch out, it's a long list this week):

From JEREMY SHOCKEY IS A GENTLEMAN

• TEXAS: I usually just whip out my dick, pour a line of coke on it, and start shaking it.  It's kinda like the "Banjo Minnow" for strippers.

• Weed Against Speed: Everyone knows the way to a stripper's heart to is act exactly like their abusive alcoholic pervert father.

From MICHIGAN, NOTRE DAME TO TAKE A BREAK

• Angel Eyes Van Cleef (for now): Are we allowed to make Quasimodo references when discussing Notre Dame? Not that i would stoop to that level, not that i could with this hunchback.

• Vanilla: I heard that Baylor has not stopped texting Michigan things like 'Where the hell are you, Michigan!' Please Baylor, like your ugly ass has a chance!

From RUSSIAN BIATHLETES CAN BE POISONOUS

• Tim: 4 x 7.5 kilometer relay. It takes four guys to run 8 inches? Metric system, whatever.

• Burnsy: Why can't we bring the Cold War back? It's so much cooler than real war.

• whowillsexmutombo: Does anyone understand the political landscape of that part of the world since Russia started dating Yoko and the USSR broke up? I don't think they even have countries over there anymore – they just make up a name and call it a "region" at their convenience. It's like The Lord of The Rings … only with less food.

• Ted Striker: My favorite biathlete is A-Rod.

And now for some solo work:

• Rob on sewage in the Browns' locker room: This is just like when the Patriots' locker room was flooded with Summers Eve.

• lieutenant winslow on rape: as the resident jew lawyer around here i feel compelled to point out that it ir not, technically, rape if the alleged victim is (i) a prostitute, (ii) an exotic dancer or (iii) unconscious.

• Angel Eyes Van Cleef (for now) on the Raiders' music video: Jesus, that thing was longer than Ben Hur. Enjoyed it though.  Ben Hur that is. The chariot race was superb.

• sheedshair on Lindsay Lohan: i knew she was going to be a dirty coke whore ever since she tried pulling that "there's two of me" bullshit in the parent trap

Oh, and a +1 to everyone who dropped a Tenacious D quote or took part in the Bob Costas = Chuck Norris game.  I really enjoy the notion of Costas as a telekinetic madman from the future.

Doin' It Well is a celebration of some of the best comments from the previous week at With Leather.  It is compiled by the editorial staff and runs every Monday.

It was a big week for Ohio here at With Leather, and you added to the fun with your witticisms and quips directed at the 17th state.  First some quick facts about the land that was once referred to as the "Northwest Territory" (boy, those colonists were way off – what a bunch of morons).  The name "Ohio" comes from the Seneca meaning "beautiful river", Columbus is the capital and the largest city, and the state answers to the nickname "The Buckeye State" or "The Birthplace of Aviation".  I remember when Ohioans claimed they were "The Heart of It All" which made me worry that the nation needed a double-bypass.  But, since the Wright brothers hailed from Dayton, Ohio thinks they're the Chuck Yeager of the Union.  North Carolina also claims to be "First in Flight", and I for one think these states should fight it out for the title.  With conventional weapons on neutral ground.  How about in West Virginia?

First, some excellent and classy comments on EX-BUCKEYE CAPTAIN LIKES TEENAGE GIRLS:    

• twoeightnine: That's the thing about retards, I get older and they never grow tired of hide and peek
• whowillsexmutombo: Everyone knows when you fuck a 14 year old she has to be an illegal immigrant. And when you fuck a special ed kid she has to be blind. It's what politicians call "minimizing your exposure."
• lieutenant winslow: i really hope he used the old "you won't get pregnant if you wear my helmet while we do it" line. that line is money in the bank on retarded girls
• Weed Against Speed: He said he was Jerry Lewis.

And from MMM… OVEN CLEANER, some of you took umbrage with the Chief's disparagement of certain condiments:

• Blackcapricorn:  Eating mayo is like killing hookers. You don't want to do it, but once you start, you can't stop.
• WeakSideWing11: I put vinegar in the eyes of the hookers i tie up… the mayo gets rubbed on my nipples!
• Hugh B. Brown: As a former resident of London, I can attest that malt vinegar is also the sole source of oral hygiene for the vast majority of the population. Regarding vaginal hygience, the condiment of choice is relish.

Who says our comment board isn't a free exchange of enlightened ideas?  Clearly, these examples will silence those critics. -KD

Doin' It Well is a celebration of some of the best comments from the previous week at With Leather.  It is compiled by the editorial staff and runs every Monday.

Good afternoon, sexy readers.  Since the Chief is still vacationing at an undisclosed location, I, your trustworthy assistant editor Kevin, will be exploring the week that was in commentary.  Of course, I'm usually lurking behind the scenes of this weekly feature and submitting all of your barbs and lampoons to With Leather's esteemed leader.  Our conversation usually goes something like, "Hey Chief, here are some excellent and funny comments about my Saint Andrew's Net post," to which he replies, "No, no, no!  These are all crap.  Find me a comment that says I'm witty, smart, or handsome.  Oh, and that's mildly amusing.  And do it now, you potato-eating son of a bitch!"  "Yes sir!  Right away, Mr. Ufford, sir!"

As for your commentary expertise, it took the form of a verbal beat down issued to 2 interlopers who transgressed into your domain on ANTOINE WALKER WUZ ROBBED:   

• whowillsexmutombo: Who the hell is Josh and why is his semi-retarded brother allowed to play with the computer? Someone get him a crash helmet and a puppet before he eats the key board.
• Enrico Pallazzo: Antoine must have forgotten that he could've fended off the robbers by chucking an endless array of bricks at them. Josh's brother fucks beguls.
• MuckFichigan: No! Giving retards puppies always ends with crying and a shallow grave. Sorta like how every date with Josh's brother ends. And what kinda guy lives in his brother's shadow like that? It's not like he's Robert Christ or Fred Clause.
• Angel Eyes Van Cleef (for now): I thought it was cool that joshs brother (his spelling) was ignored for over an hour, but now that the alarm has been raised…I find his blatant disregard of the noble apostrophe both aloof and condescending. I, for one, am not impressed. There, that'll learn him.
• whowillsexmutombo: Is CelticsSuck actually our friend Josh? Man, that family sucks.
• MuckFichigan: I think those two have an RSS feed that lights up a giant signal in their bedroom, letting them know that there is a wrong to be righted and a jab that must be avenged flowing through these tubes that make up the internet. The symbol that summons these two heroes? Ideas should follow.

Expertly done people!  Way to police yourselves, just like MLB.  Isn't it great how the umpires let the pitchers and batters settle their differences without quickly ejecting players?  Oh wait . . . -KD

Doin' It Well is a celebration of some of the best comments from the previous week at With Leather.  It is compiled by the editorial staff and runs every Monday.

In one of the comment threads last week, I made it known that I dislike the "Fixed" comments.  For those of you who are unaware of this formulaic, template-style joke, it's the most popular form of making an unfunny comment since the heyday of "You're with me, ______."  (Yes, I recognize the irony of me writing that, given the name of this blog.) 

It goes like this: Step 1 — copy and paste part of blog post.  Step 2 — change a word or words, then place those words in bold.  Step 3 — Write "Fixed."  Somewhere along the line, someone thought this was clever.  It is not. 

As an added bonus to being unoriginal and unfunny, it's also insulting to the writer of the post.  "Fixed!"  Hey, fuck you, it wasn't broken.  I wrote it that way for a reason, asshole.  If I ever meet the person who coined this lazy excuse for humor, I will punch him in the solar plexus.  If it is a woman, I may settle for ugly name-calling.  Unless it's a hooker, in which case she's as good as dead anyway. 

After the jump, good examples of people who didn't piss me off.

This week I'm going to give out the awards based on degree of difficulty.  Rape jokes are tough to make funny, and they're especially tough when you find out an Olympic sprinter from Trinidad and Tobago is a serial rapist, which is why I made clear my official stance against rape.  But these commenters were undeterred:

• Otto Man: I, for one, applaud your bold stand against rape.  What are your feelings about puppies and apple pie?  Raping them, I mean.

• MMP: I'm holding judgement on rape until I see some hard data.

• Angel Eyes Van Cleef (for now): He should have gotten himself a bike. Whenever i have any overwhelming urges i go for a long ride, then later, when i get home, i fuck it. Behind a locked door. In your face bike fucker guy.

• Rob: "The Queens Borough Parks Department: Enabling rapes for over 110 years."

• lieutenant winslow: seriously, i know i joke around a lot, but this guy is a fucking scumbag and i hope he rots in hell. rape is supposed to be something special that is shared between a man and an unconscious stripper.

• twoeightnine: So we're anti-rape now? Time to order new business cards.

• MaxwellDemon: He was using the cream and the clear for a while, so two of those rapes no longer count.

Really tremendous stuff, everybody.  Thank you.  And for those who participated in the delightful threads about women's tennis players cooking and the '86 Mets doing drugs, your work is also appreciated.  Keep doin' it well.