As Drake University’s 104th Drake Relays took place over the weekend, the most important part of the entire mess of whatever it is those people are doing didn’t take place until yesterday. That was when a 4-year old English Bulldog named Huckleberry was crowned this year’s Beautiful Bulldog, marking the end to the 34th year of this mascot competition. Why it took Drake 70 years to think of adding a bulldog beauty contest to the Drake Relays is neither here nor there, but I trust that it will be handled in time by the United States Congress and the people responsible – dead or alive – will be punished for their laziness accordingly.

So what about Huckleberry? Who’s a good widdle champion?

Read the rest of this entry »

Yeah, getcha some.

As with any Super Bowl, my favorite Monday pastime is reading everyone’s analysis of what they loved and hated, but with much more enthusiasm for the latter. My reason for this is that I simply like to turn my brain off and relax a little, because by the time the biggest game of the year has finally wrapped up, I need a little breather. Basically, I agree with Arian Foster that today should be Labor Day. That said, the leader in my clubhouse for best post-Super Bowl rant thus far goes to Will Leitch and his essay on the complete meltdown by CBS’ announcing team during the blackout last night.

Between Shannon Sharpe’s broken cliché machine and Bill Cowher actually suggesting that the San Francisco 49ers should bench Colin Kaepernick in the Super Bowl, I thought my head was getting close to a Scanners moment. Hell, they should have just brought out Rick Reilly and Kaepernick’s birth mother to finish us off.

That said, it’s an otherwise slow news day, unless you count a dog parade and I always count dog parades. This weekend, the fine people of St. Louis hosted the 19th annual Beggin’ Barkus Pet Parade in Soulard, according to the folks at KSDK 5, and there was even a lobster dog. Granted, it wasn’t THE Lobster Dog, but we take what we can get.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s hard to say that living the dream is dead when women like Donna Condliffe are out there dreaming big. Condliffe, according to the Daily Mail, recently quit her job with a fancy financial institution to start her own business. That business? Designing high-end clothing for dogs to help our favorite pets celebrate the 2012 Summer Olympics.

‘The inspiration for the Olympic dog clothes came as there is a real buzz starting as we count down to the London 2012 games and I felt what better way to involve our pets, in what will be a fantastic spectacle for the whole of Great Britain.

‘It will be great to see the whole country wearing red, white and blue and really getting behind the athletes, and how good that we can include our pets, who are, after all, a big part of our family!’

‘I wanted to start a business on a subject I am passionate about, I am animal mad and have 2 rescue dogs myself so it was an easy decision.

Man, where was this lady when the Ukraine was dealing with all those stray dogs and pee-soaked mattresses before the Euro 2012 tournament? She could have dressed all the strays up like adorable Russian priests while someone built the Saint Sophia Cathedral out of mattresses. Man, that would’ve been adorable.

Unfortunately for us Yanks, Condliffe is only offering Union Jack pooch clothes for British dogs to celebrate their favorite athletes. So I strongly suggest that American Olympics fans create their own costumes to help their dogs celebrate their favorite American athletes. For instance, I already put a wifebeater on my pitbull and smeared motor oil and mayonnaise on it, because hooray for Abby Wambach!

Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome to this week’s installment of the Friday Face-Off, in which we take two random videos and pit them against each other in a battle to become the greatest video on the Internet. While they’re not always going to be videos about animals, they will most likely be videos about animals. Email your submissions to BurnsyWL@gmail.com for t-shirt consideration.

You’ll have to forgive the banner image, because it has nothing to do with this week’s Friday Face-Off. I just found it the other day and have been wanting to use it, so I figured why not now? Anywho, today’s Friday Face-Off once again finds us marveling over the brilliance of animals. Honestly, I can’t ever get tired of videos of dogs doing human stuff. In fact, if someone made a video of Kate Upton as the Coppertone girl, holy sh*t.

First up, we have a dog that can get its own ice cubes. It’s pretty simple, but it’s super awesome.

Read the rest of this entry »

Back in July, fans of the San Diego Padres gathered at Petco Park as they hoped to break the world record for the longest costumed dog parade as part of the organization’s annual Dog Days of Summer promotion, which allows fans to bring their pooches to the ballpark. Not only did they end up setting the world record, but they created a new sensation for dog owners across the country. For some reason, people really want to break the record for most costumed dogs in a parade.

Dog owners in Cleveland made their best effort this past weekend and they unfortunately fell short. Hell, a guy in Pittsburgh even tried to set the individual record for most dogs walked. Alas, there is controversy in this canine competition, as a Long Beach, CA man believes that he has already bested the Petco effort and will gladly do it again.

Read the rest of this entry »

As if the Los Angeles Dodgers didn’t have enough problems, what with the $400 million debt, terrible owners, dangerous Mexican gang member fans, and that whole being a half game out of last place, now people have to worry about being killed in blazing infernos at Dodger Stadium. During the fifth inning of Saturday night’s game against the Florida Marlins, a section of the stadium was evacuated when a horrific blaze erupted in a food vendor warehouse. Hmmm, I smell insurance fraud.

Fans were ordered out of the section above first base and down the right-field line as smoke wafted over the playing field. Meanwhile, the game continued with the Marlins leading, 3-1.

After the top of the sixth inning, a public-address announcement informed fans of the fire, calling it “small” in a “contained area” and “under control” by the Los Angeles Fire Department, assuring fans there was no need for further evacuations. (Via MLB.com)

Geez, ruin the fun, why don’t you? OK, so the fire wasn’t life-threatening, but I don’t really care about the human fans who may have been in harm’s way. I only care about their dogs, because the fire happened during the Dodgers’ “Bark in the Park” promotion, which allowed fans to bring their favorite canine companions to the park. Thanks to the Los Angeles Times, we can put fuzzy little faces to this careless behavior and hazardous half-assed operation. It also helps if you view this while listening to Sarah McLachlan.

Read the rest of this entry »