We talk a lot about the esoteric weirdos who make those wacky Taiwanese animation videos where Tim Tebow gets literally crucified and hockey fights turn into graphic dismemberments, but sometimes its nice to see actual animation, where the people involved took the time to make it clever or interesting or pretty or not full of random stabbings.

In the spirit of that sentiment, here’s a clip from Blank On Blank that illustrates a 1992 interview with basketball great Wilt Chamberlain. Highlights include:

- Wilt as a giant monster, destroying a town
- Wilt lovingly petting a cat (because this is on The Internet)
- Wilt’s sexual motto (“Viva la difference!”)
- a thorough conversation about dog sizes

It’s good stuff. Check it out, and then watch the rest of their stuff if you’re bored. The Jim Morrison one about the beauty of being fat is a good one. And check out the one where Manny Ramirez beats his wife with an oversized bat that reads STEROID ALLEGATIONS. I think that was them.

[h/t to Deadspin]

‘Bill Dance Outdoors’ brings together some of my favorite things: fishing bloopers, guys using almost-curse words and dogs magically appearing from off-screen like rocket ships. Bill Dance bloopers are the greatest. Fishing should be this easy for everybody.

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Links

All The GIFs You’ll Ever Need Of Megan’s Mom Channeling Her Inner Lucille Bluth In Sunday’s ‘Mad Men’ |UPROXX|

The 5 Television Man Crushes Every Straight Man Should Have |Warming Glow|

Robert Downey Jr. is a real-life superhero |Film Drunk|

How Not To Comment On A Skydiver’s Death |With Leather|

10 Reasons To Hate The Terrible ‘Iron Man 3′ |Gamma Squad|

12 Legendary Moments In Rap History |Smoking Section|

Local Smoke Shop Welcomes Tyrann Mathieu To Phoenix |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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I am currently writing about sports from a hotel room in Philadelphia. My girlfriend graduates from Penn State this morning, and I’m in town to mark this very special occasion in her life. The reason I’m mentioning that here is because of the weird thing going on where I leave Texas and important things happen. The last time I left Texas for a few days, the Boston Marathons got bombed and a plant blew up near Waco.

Sometimes, great things happen. For example, I leave Texas for JUST A MOMENT and Norman The Scooter Dog has shown up to throw out the first pitch at a Texas Rangers game and be a dog who rides around on a goddamn scooter all day. Motherf**ker.

Rangers Ballpark in Arlington will be filled with the sounds of cracking bats and barking dogs this evening, as the Texas Rangers hold their annual Bark in the Park event at the stadium.

People can dress their dogs in their best Rangers gear and strut it out on the field during a pre-game parade. The top five best-dressed pooches get a prize. (Registration has already closed for Bark in the Park, so if you haven’t registered, don’t just show up at the ballpark with your dog.)

This year, the event gets a little twist, as Norman, a multi-talented dog who stars in the Hallmark Channel series ‘Who Let the Dogs Out,’ will “throw” the ceremonial first pitch. (via Whatever)

If you aren’t as familiar with Norman as I am, yes, you read that correctly: Norman is a dog who rides scooters and shit, but he is also the star of a Hallmark Channel show named after the Baha Men. Who has the HALLMARK CHANNEL, anyway? That network should just be stillframes of greeting cards and puppet shows with Hummel figurines.

Deadspin has a clip of Norman scootering around the park, which is enough to make me angry at my absence, but I can’t wait to see him throw out the first pitch. I’ll update with video of that as soon as its available.

Until then, please enjoy this Friday-friendly assortment of Norman videos. You’re welcome.

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As Drake University’s 104th Drake Relays took place over the weekend, the most important part of the entire mess of whatever it is those people are doing didn’t take place until yesterday. That was when a 4-year old English Bulldog named Huckleberry was crowned this year’s Beautiful Bulldog, marking the end to the 34th year of this mascot competition. Why it took Drake 70 years to think of adding a bulldog beauty contest to the Drake Relays is neither here nor there, but I trust that it will be handled in time by the United States Congress and the people responsible – dead or alive – will be punished for their laziness accordingly.

So what about Huckleberry? Who’s a good widdle champion?

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Please forgive my inability to identify baseball video games, since the only games that I play are old school Final Fantasy re-releases for the iPad because I’m a ballllllller. Nevertheless, this bro was getting a quick nine innings in recently as his dog looked on, and I assume that the video game umpire made a call that he didn’t like or the dog couldn’t believe that his owner didn’t swing at that meatball pitch.

Either way, TIMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRR! But a huge tip of the cap to the gentleman for his reflexes, because I love my dog more than anything, but a broken TV? That’s at least a one-week belly rub ban, featuring no cookie bones until a Day 5 parole hearing.

However, and this is a rare case of me considering animal-on-TV violence, if my dog chose to freak out and attack the TV over a real-life bad call, I could probably make exceptions. For instance, if I were a Tampa Bay Rays fan and had been watching this call live…

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Sledding Rottweiler? Sledding Rottweiler! He’ll even bring the sled back to you. OH YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD BOY. (h/t to Bob’s)

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Links

Let’s Tour Ben & Jerry’s Flavor Graveyard |UPROXX|

Someone In The Vatican Really Likes ‘The Americans,’ Hardcore Porn |Warming Glow|

‘Elysium’ Trailer: Robots, space, swords, explosions, bikinis, Matt Damon |Film Drunk|

UFC Fighters VS. A Soccer Mascot’s Nuts. Who Ya Got? |With Leather|

Dust Off Your Gargoyle Grappling Hook, ‘Batman: Arkham Origins’ Is Coming October 25th |Gamma Squad|

10 Rappers Who Fell Off Lyrically |Smoking Section|

Jay Cutler Doesn’t Deny The ‘DDDOOOONNN’TTTT CAAARRREEE’ Story |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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