According to legend, when Genghis Kahn began his little campaign to conquer all of Asia and Europe, his most trusted sidekicks were his Tibetan mastiff, or gigantic dogs, that would eventually be responsible for the creation of most large breeds of dogs throughout the world. At one point during the 20th century, though, the breed became rare throughout the world and people feared that it would eventually become endangered. But like all cool vintage trends, someone eventually hipstered up and gave the Tibetan mastiff a second chance, and over the past 10 years the breed has seen a powerful resurgence.

For starters, the Westminster Kennel Club recognized the breed for the first time ever during the 2008 dog show, and that was the direct result of – and probably more likely the cause of – a growing number of competitions and exhibitions throughout China, involving just this breed. Over the weekend, the China Tibetan Mastiff Exhibition was held in Shenyang in the Liaoning province (it’s like the Chicago of China) and that massive beast above was the big winner of the event’s beauty contest.

If you’re thinking about getting in on this Tibetan mastiff action, you might want to start saving, though. Mastiff puppies sell for as much as $200,000 in the U.S. and Europe, and most breeders have a waiting list. But if you’re really fired up and ready to pass on that new house you’ve had your eye on, a man in Urumqi, Xinjiang (think: Los Angeles) nearly broke a world record when his mastiff, Black Pearl, produced a litter of 22 pups last month.

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More than 28,000 dogs were delivered to Birmingham, England this past weekend by their overzealous, coddling owners for the 121st annual Crufts international dog show to determine the world’s ultimate dog on the grandest stage. Recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as the biggest dog show in the world, Crufts features a variety of events, but most notably allows judges to determine the best example of each breed in the competition before ultimately choosing the Best in Show. A tough job, but I would gladly take it, pro bono.

This year’s Best in Show honor was awarded to Elizabeth (above), a 7-year old Lhasa Apso from Coventry, England, while the reserve title – should Elizabeth be caught eating her own poop and lose her crown – was given to a 3-year old Newfoundland named Brutus. And some other dogs probably won some other awards, but there were more than 28,000 of them and instead of listing them I would much rather point at them and gush, “Awwwww, who’s a good widdle champion? You are! Yes you are!”

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Diamond Jim, an English springer spaniel owned by people in Virginia who haven't lived with their dog in two years, won best in show at the Westminster Kennel Club.

Dressed in a glittering copper top that perfectly matched her brown-and-white pet, [handler Kellie] Fitzgerald cuddled the 6-year-old certified therapy dog.

"I'm over the moon," she said.

What year is this? 1940? She then added, "Ohhhhh doctor! The world hasn't seen a dog this determined since Marine Devil Dogs earned their moniker at Belleau Wood in the Great War. I do declare, this canine is the bee's knees."

Goddammit this is boring. How the fuck is this a story on ESPN? Somebody tell me the only reason this got a story is because of Disney corporate synergy. That's the only excuse I can think of for them. Now, my excuse for writing about it is way better: I'm totally mailing it in.