These are supposedly the rules of rugby, but they’re all wrong. This isn’t even rugby! I don’t care if you call it “rugby” and have the world rugby association notarize it, I don’t believe anything is rugby anymore. Regardless, here are a bunch of oily, almost naked ladies explaining the sport to you in Zack Snyder slow motion, so enjoy that. (via Bob’s Blitz)

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Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez, from Don Quixote to Lord of the Rings |The Mandible Claw|

How Justin Timberlake Went From Boy Band Laughing Stock To Pop Culture Icon |UPROXX|

Matthew McConaughey was shirtless at Whole Foods |Film Drunk|

Broadway Theatergoers Can’t Stop Taking Pictures Of Naked Emilia Clarke |Warming Glow|

The Best Of Jose Bautista’s Reddit AMA |With Leather|

PETA Condemns ‘Assassin’s Creed IV’ Whaling. Ubisoft Responds With Pretty Sweet Zinger |Gamma Squad|

On D’Angelo, Questlove And An Album 13 Years In The Making |Smoking Section|

This Week in F–k You: Rich Kid Concierge Services |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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The following hilariously-accurate, beer-spilling headshot took place on Tuesday at a rugby game. I want to say it’s rugby because the YouTube channel is “PremiershipRugby” and the title involves the phrase “Man hit on head at rugby match,” but I’m not saying for sure, because I never get it right. When I write about rugby, it’s Australian Rules Football. When I write about Australian Rules Football, it’s rugby. I’ll just say this: this guy got hit in the head with a ball during rugby, Australian rules football, freestyle soccer, Super Dodge Ball, European rules quidditch or HeadBeerBall. One of those six.

The one guarantee from the clip is that it didn’t happen in the United States, because the guy who got cranked with a rugby ball was a good sport about it and laughed it off instead of flipping out about it on Twitter and suing everybody. Two concession stand beers is a small price to pay for rugby fan viral video glory, right?

This should happen in every sport. The Big Lead mentioned that they’d like to see this happen in more in the lower deck at NBA games, but hell, let’s make it happen across the board. I want to see Aaron Rodgers knock the cheese off somebody’s head for fun.

[h/t to Last Angry Fan]

Zimbabwean-born rugby union player Tendai Mtawarira is nicknamed “Beast”, and if you need validation of that nickname please consult this clip of him hoisting Sharks teammate Anton Bresler into the air to make a catch, then holding him there by his shorts so he doesn’t fall over backwards. I believe Last Angry Fan described it best as a “clean-and-jerk using a grown man”. The moment comes to us from the Super Rugby League, which I’m going to assume is like regular rugby except everyone has Thor strength and magical powers.

Video of the incredible feat of strength is below, but know going in that he doesn’t hammerthrow Besler into anyone from that position. I think in pro wrestling terms he was setting up him for the Vertebreaker.

Anyway:

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Anderson Silva defeated Yushin Okami at UFC 134 without even really trying, but the weekend’s best fight took place in Australia on Friday night between the Melbourne Storm and the Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles. Melbourne’s Adam Blair and Manly’s Glenn Stewart went toe-to-toe after a little push and shove, a little push and shove, a little push and shove, WHACK from their teammates and it is all you want a rugby fight to be.

The announcers and slow motion replay made it sound and look pretty awesome (and it looked like two T-Rexes trying to claw each other in the face), but not everyone enjoyed it.

“It certainly wasn’t a good look for our game,” said Melbourne coach Craig Bellamy.

Like anything else that happens in the world, YouTube is divided into two camps: Camp one says this is normal and should be expected from a sport where rule one is to beat the sh*t out of each other, and camp two says “thugs” or “thuggery” or some form of weirdly-veiled cultural insult. Judge for yourself.

[h/t Off the Bench]

Rugby Australian Rules Football is the most awesome thing in the world that I know nothing about. That honor used to go to the Marianas Trench, but I ended up learning a lot about it in the seventh grade. Anyway, I don’t think you have to know anything about rugby footy to appreciate this video of Nic Naitanui clearing an entire group of human beings to catch a ball. Imagine if Blake Griffin jumped a car for a slam dunk, but jumped the middle part. The Mark of the Year candidate took place against Carlton at Etihad Stadium in Round 14 on Sunday, and yep, that is absolutely right.

Also like the Blake Griffin dunk, the fan comments on the YouTube video itself are a great mixture of “this was great” and a deep explanation of why it wasn’t, including “he just jumped onto other peoples’ backs”, proving that no great deed goes un-meh’d. I think we should always look to enjoy the accomplishments of people who do what we can’t. You could give me a thousand tries to use a living man as a plateau with which to reach a flying rugby ball and I would miss it 1,005 times.

Fun Fact: The bottom of the Marianas Trench is further below sea level than Mount Everest is above sea level.

Meh.

[via Hot Clicks]

I’m not going to pretend to know the first thing about rugby. Back in college, I got super drunk with the women’s rugby team and that’s about the extent of my knowledge. I am, however, quite a fan of watching unnecessary sports violence, so I can declare with confidence that Northampton Saints wing Chris Ashton had his face rocked by Leicester’s Manu Tuilagi in a recent 11-3 Leicester win. Tuilagi received a yellow card for his aggression, but his punches at least marked the first time that the name Manu was associated with anything macho in sports.

Video after the jump, as well as some very special guest commentary on rugby.

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