Originally, I was going to write a few hundred words about how Kobe Bryant and Smush Parker are trading insults right now about their time as teammates 5 or 6 years ago. Bryant referred to Parker as the NBA’s equivalent of a walk-on and blames him and Kwame Brown for the Lakers being so terrible whenever they all played together (seriously, I don’t even feel like looking it up). So Parker, whose name I hadn’t even heard in at least 3 years, told one of his Walmart customers that Bryant was a terrible teammate (shocking) and that’s why he stopped passing to him.

And people are talking about this like crazy today, as if it’s some sort of revelation that Bryant is a selfish jerk, so I wanted to actually come to Bryant’s defense and tell Parker to stick to packing his tighty-whities for his trip back to China, where he’s paid to be awful at basketball. But then someone emailed me a link to photographer Terry Richardson’s website (NSFW*) and I was like, “Kobe who?”

Richardson, who is beloved by celebrities for being an artistic perv, decided to clear out the ol’ memory card on his camera and posted some new outtake photos from his last shoot with With Leather’s 2011 Celebrity Sports Fan of the Year and model Kate Upton. While I feel like I’ve already seen these photos, I don’t really care. It’s Friday. You’re welcome.

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Justin Verlander’s Sports Illustrated covergirl and technically-sports-related girlfriend Kate Upton has been pretty light on the photoshoots since bikini season ended, but her latest from CR Fashion Book magazine (entitled “Hush Lil Baby, Don’t You Cry”) has hit the web, and it’s … pretty weird.

The easiest way to describe it is that it’s Kate Upton with baby animals. And babies. And guys in bear costumes. I think she’s supposed to be Mother Nature? It’s like somebody took her Peter Cottontail video and decided to make it SUPER SERIOUS. I don’t even know.

Anyway, you can check out the pictures after the jump. I’ve also included a video from the shoot at the end of the gallery (thanks to the Internet’s closest-working Kate Upton representative, Mr. Jimmy Traina of SI’s Hot Clicks), and if you were hoping it’d establish some kind of narrative … yeah, no.

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Last week, With Leather’s 2011 Celebrity Sports Fan of the Year Kate Upton teased us by Tweeting the first shots from her latest fashion shoot with photographer Yu Tsai for Contributor Magazine. Of course, that led to me singing Better Than Ezra’s “Good” for the better part of a day, but it’s always worth it when we have some new Kate photos to appreciate.

On Tuesday, Contributor finally posted the entire shoot, and I’ll just go ahead and state the obvious – Kate is welcome to come clean my house whenever she wants. But as I have a terrible tendency of doing, I started to scroll through the comments on the site’s post, expecting to see the Internet’s battle cry of “Look at this fatty moo cow!” or “Go back to your farm and graze, you fat cow!” or “Oh God, I hate my life so much, time to make fun of this model by lying to myself about how she’s obese!” You know, stuff like that.

Instead, I was actually quite shocked.

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I’m not one to narc on a beautiful woman having a good time, but here’s a clip of Sports Illustrated cover girl Kate Upton — 20-year old Kate Upton — enjoying a clear, yellow-ish beverage in a transparent plastic cup at a Detroit Tigers home game over the weekend. She’s in Michigan, so there’s a chance the cup’s just full of urine (or SoBe … you know SoBe has a truck with a fire hose attached waiting outside her home at all times), but whatever. She’s got all the necessary tools to enjoy Journey and we shouldn’t fault her for that.

For anyone expressing sincere outrage (and I know you’re out there), our friends at Guyism summed it up best:

Oooh, where’s the TMZ investigative team? I eagerly await Harvey Levin breaking this down with the title, “Kate Upton drinking: Are her boobs real?”

Video is below. Don’t stop believin’.

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Kate Upton’s GQ cover is already the stuff of legend, and somehow it keeps getting better. Case in point: ‘The Many Talents Of Kate Upton’, a “bonus” video shot by Richardson where he finds 7 different reasons for Kate to make her boobs move around. It’s a wonderful thing done for awful reasons to a wonderful person by an awful person, or some combination of those words. I can barely type, because it features the pay-off to that wet t-shirt teaser GQ sent over to us last week.

Full video, courtesy of Terry Richardson’s Tumblr, is after the jump because it gets pretty NSFW at the end. If you’re really into not being safe for work, we’ve included Terry’s gif on the moment as a bonus.

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Independence Day has already long been my favorite religious American holiday, as I don’t think a three-day weekend can get much better than grilled meat, fireworks, and booze. All it’s really missing is football. To think, if the pilgrims had stopped in Tennessee on their way to have Thanksgiving dinner with the Native Americans, then we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.

Alas, I digress. The 4th of July does, in fact, get better as GQ’s upcoming cover shows us with the reigning With Leather Celebrity Sports Fan of the Year, Kate Upton, showing off her love of America. Although, I’m wondering if those Astro Pop calories are a good thing for her, what with some people thinking she’s a little too curvy.

Here, let me offer up a healthier alternative cover…

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