In the epic sequel to Dirk Nowitzki Throws Out A Horrible First Pitch, here’s Dirk in the batting cages. (via Last Angry Fan)

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America, F*Ck Yeah!: 20 Images To Help You Get Your Patriotism On |UPROXX|

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Olympic Dog Costumes? Sure, Why Not |With Leather|

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Celebrating President Bartlet, One Of America’s Greatest Fictional Patriots |Warming Glow|

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The Best Of #Larry David |UPROXX|

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LEGO Settlers of Catan |Technabob|

Robot Chicken: Every G.I. Joe Sketch |Adult Swim|

The Ultimate Fireworks Fail Compilation |High Definite|

10 Badass Prints of American Historical Figures |BroBible|

22 People Who Shouldn’t Be Dressed as Spider-Man |College Humor|

An absurd fireworks safety PSA put out by the California State Fire Marshal in 1995 |GorillaMask|

VIDEO AND PICTURE BELOW: Rock, flag, and EEEEEEAGLE!!! |via Robot In Disguise and IFC|

I’m a big sucker for fan art – well, appropriate fan art – and that’s why I’ve been pounding my desk all morning over the news that the world’s biggest patent troll is going after Etsy’s new $40 million investment. But while soulless thieves are going after the sources of the Internet’s showcases for art and inspiration, they’ll thankfully never be able to crush the actual artists. At least not yet. I’m sure they’ll find a way eventually.

My Internet Artist of the Day of the Week goes to the guys at Double Scribble, a Tumblr site devoted to NBA fan art.

Double Scribble is the lovechild of basketball and art; two of Nick Kastner and Mike McGrath’s favorite things in the world. From the coldest, murkiest depths of Cleveland, OH (and now to some extent, some obscure part of North Carolina) Nick and Mike have forged a blog out of blood, sweat and tears in their unwavering vision to provide you, the viewer, with a never ending source of basketball related art.

And it’s pretty awesome. I’ve been shuffling back and forth through its archives since a friend emailed the link last week and there is just a ton of great artwork on this site that has really inspired me to consider re-launching my web comic series, “The Erotic Adventures of a Sports Blogger.” Spoiler alert: it’s sad and gross.

After the jump, I’ve included many of my favorite efforts of Double Scribble’s authors, but I encourage you to check out the submissions that they’ve posted from other artists as well. It’s a highly recommended worm hole to limit your productivity today.

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I was hoping that by this point in the week I’d have some fun little anecdotes to share about how Orlando is shaping up for All-Star Weekend, but short of about 60 more homeless people than usual and some banners, I haven’t noticed much yet. In fact, I’m mega bummed, you guys. My buddy got me on the guest list for Diddy’s All-Star party this weekend and I was super pumped to go and take really awkward pictures next to all of the celebrities in attendance (“Hey is that Joey Fatone with Skeet Ulrich???”) but word on Church Street is that the party was cancelled thanks to some screw up by a promoter. Bummers, y’all.

But I’m still gonna do my best to put together a fun recap for next Monday, because I’m perpetually bound to run into ridiculous stuff on a weekend like this. I may still attend the Rising Stars Challenge and Dunk Contest, but the real fun is going to be at the bars, so I will stick to what I do best. My prediction? I end up bare-knuckle boxing Aaron Carter behind a Steak-N-Shake dumpster. Fingers crossed!

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Trey Kirby and The Basketball Jones have shared countless NBA clips, and every single one of them would be improved by having Dirk Nowitzki shout random affirmations over them.

“Oh my God!
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
SHUT IT DOWWWWWWWWWWWWN
LET’S GO HOOOOOOOOOOOOME”

Dirk is his very own Club Banger. Put some techno music behind that and it’s every third Black Eyed Peas song.

Seriously though, turn the volume down on Horace Grant dunking or Chris Paul being mad about someone touching his head and just scream UHHHHH! HE’S ON HIS HOOOOOOOOORSE. EAT SOME FOOOOOOOOOOOD. DRIVE TO TOWNNNNNNN. It just makes things happier and better. More German!

wait, that’s not right

"Won't you ladies join me?"

Now that we know that Kim Kardashian decided to divorce Kris Humphries because her dead father, being channeled by medium John Edwards, told her to, Humphries is readjusting to his role as a true playboy in this NBA lifestyle. So he invited Life & Style magazine into his new bachelor pad to show what life after Kim actually looks like, and it appears that the answer is: douchey.

I haven’t kept up on whether or not the trend of opposing fans booing Humphries mercilessly is still alive, but I really hope it is. It has nothing to do with the fact that he enabled the Kardashian clan and helped them allegedly haul in $17 million for their sham wedding anymore. It’s the fact that he’s a professional basketball player and he’s allowing Life & Style to take pictures of his bachelor pad. Come on, K-Hump. You should know better than this.

Meanwhile, not much has changed. The Chicago Bulls and Miami Heat are still the favorites in the East, and the Oklahoma City Thunder and basically the entire Northwest Division are running the West right now (except for Minnesota, which is still play rather Minnesota-esque). So until something noteworthy happens (like the New York Knicks sending Amar’e Stoudamire and Tyson Chandler to the Orlando Magic for Dwight Howard and Hedo Turkoglu, for instance) here we are once again with our Week in Pictures.

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Last Friday, the not-surprisingly-terrible New Jersey Nets earned their second win of the season with a 97-85 tickle fight against the slightly-less-terrible Toronto Raptors. But the scoreboard be damned, because the Raptors fans above earned the biggest victory of all as they reportedly heckled Nets forward and ex-Kardashian enabler Kris Humphries throughout the entire game with their giant cutout signs of E!’s First Family. Damn that classic Canadian wit.

The rest of the weekend and early season action has continued as expected, with the biggest surprise thus far being the 7-2 Philadelphia 76ers and their 6-game winning streak. It looks like all the City of Brotherly Love needed was a little Will Smith injection of jiggyness and some of the ugliest mascot options in sports history. Good for the 76ers and the other little engines that could, as they will inevitably be decimated by the Miami Heat.

Before we get started, though, let’s take a look at the ballsiest basketball bros you’ll see upgrade their seats this season…

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