This handsome and not-at-all-guido-looking gentleman is Argentine soccer legend Diego “Burrito Dos Manos” Maradona. Maradona is on the verge of being named the next head coach of the Argentine national team. Because who better to entrust with your nation’s rich football heritage than a man with limited coaching experience who has snorted enough cocaine to fill an aircraft carrier?

”My first job will be watching the players. I’ll try to talk to them one by one and then work at the training camp in Ezeiza with them.”

After carefully watching the players, Maradona plans to give them detailed instructions on how to gain 700 pounds in 3 days, contract hepatitis, become buddies with nutjob Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez, temporarily die of a heart attack, drop out of a Swiss rehab clinic, and dress like a villain from a Tony Scott picture.

So here's a fun start to the day.  Diego Maradona is one of With Leather's more beloved soccer players, not because he was one of the greatest strikers of all time, but because the man did mountains and mountains of cocaine.  Reader Jerry the Mule (real name) sent in this video, which obviously isn't new, but it's certainly intriguing.  From the YouTube description:

Down 2-0 late in [a 1986 global All-Star game] Maradona scored and assisted to send the game to penalty kicks. The video picks up with the South Korean player from "El Resto del Mundo" missing his kick, giving Maradona the opportunity to score and finish the comeback. Watch what he does immediately after when his "friend" in the aquamarine shirt comes out to get the party started.

If you're stupid and can't read between the lines, Maradona does a line of booger sugar right off his buddy's fist.  Well, probably.  I guess it's possible he just wanted to smell his friend's hand.  "Mmmm, that's lovely.  Drakkar Noir, you say?  It's marvelous.  You're right, that really couldn't wait until after this celebration."

Lionel Messi, hailed as the successor to Diego Maradona as Argentina's next great striker, has already recreated Maradona's famous "Goal of the Centrury."  And now, by getting away with this handball goal against Espanya, Messi has also recreated Maradona's most infamous score, as well.

Up next for Messi: doing shitloads of cocaine and getting fat. 

(Via The Offside)