As regular readers of the site know, I have a deep, undying love for two things most people consider creepy or for babies — mascots and pro wrestling. To date, I am the only person in the world to have pictures with both Southpaw of the Lynchburg Hillcats and GHC Heavyweight Champion Takeshi Morishima.

So you might be able to figure out on your own that a video of a bunch of mascots having a battle royal outside of AT&T Park is extremely relevant to my interests and, at least to me, probably the funniest sh*t ever. It starts with Mr. Wrestling #4 being tasked to train “all of [my] favorite bay area mascots”, devotes a little time to beating up a fake Phillie Phanatic and makes me laugh against all better judgement at giant inflatable seal entering the ring to Puffy Daddy’s ‘Come With Me’. Watching Seal Zilla and the Crazy Crab try to navigate ring ropes is my new favorite thing.

The star of the match is primary Giants mascot Lou Seal, who pins the Phillie Faux-natic with a Superfly Splash from the top rope, unceremoniously dumps Lil’ Seal under the bottom rope and gorilla presses the Crazy Crab to the outside. He’s legitimately better at this than a lot of people making a living wrestling on television.

The only way this could’ve been better is if Dragon Dragon had shown up. Thank you for making my Thursday better, San Francisco Giants.

[h/t Peter Holby]

A nice counterpoint to the heavy stuff I wrote about yesterday. The grunting really makes it. (via Tastefully Offensive)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

FilmDrunk’s 2012 Oscars Best Picture Bracket - I’m not quite as acerbic about movies as Vince, and I love at least 6 of the Best Picture nominees this year. Not a fan of The Help, War Horse or Pay 9/11 Forward. [Film Drunk]

The Dying Art Of Rap Battles & Beefs - Well hey, at least now we’ve got a Twitter feud between a remorseless violent dancing man-child and a pro wrestler security guards wouldn’t let into the arena because they thought he was a fan! [Smoking Section]

‘Community’ Hiatus Might Have Actually Improved Its Chances at Renewal - I want so badly for these characters to graduate. Shows with a logical end need to reach their logical end! [Warming Glow]

Our 30 Favorite Pictures From This Year’s Mardi Gras Chewbacchanal -
“Here’s a thing we do where we get drunk and girls shows us their boobs. How could we make it better?” “STAR WARS.” [Gamma Squad]

In Case You Ever Wanted To See Robert Downey Jr. As A Pinup Girl - I haven’t, but uh, thanks for sharing. [UPROXX]

Man Repeatedly Pepper-Sprayed At Disneyland During Fight - Where were these guys when Ursula was trying to destroy Prince Eric’s boat? Or when Gaston was in the woods trying to stab folks? [Buzzfeed]

Rick Santorum’s Gmail Inbox Reveals The Truth About GOP Candidate (PICTURE) - The guy’s last name is “Santorum” for Christ’s sakes, don’t vote for him. Who’s his VP gonna be, Charles Mung? [HuffPost Comedy]

Off The Air: 11 Things Adult Swim Left Online - I wish somebody would accidentally leave ‘Look Around You’ season 2 on a U.S. DVD. [Adult Swim]

How They Made The Greatest Simpsons Episode Of All-Time, “Homer At The Bat” - “Last Exit To Springfield” is the greatest Simpsons episode of all-time, thank you very much. [FARK]

Bossip Exclusive: Ray J Planning To Sue Radio Station Over Spoof Fake Interview Discussing Whitney And Bobby - Any time Ray J talks, the other person should respond with OH RAY J, OH RAY J, OH BAYBEE~ until he shuts up. [Bossip]

How Do You Improve Mardi Gras? Add Will Ferrell - I like that Will Ferrell is just wandering around hanging out at stuff he likes. Beer commercials, Spanish language movies, Minor League Baseball, Mardi Gras. [The FW]

Read the rest of this entry »

Over the weekend, my Uproxxian colleague Danger Guerrero sent me a link to an old MTV Rock N Jock Softball clip, and it basically turned my afternoon into a complete waste. I didn’t get pushed into the YouTube wormhole as much as I willingly belly-flopped into the extensive search results for all things Rock N Jock, and I spent a good 4 or 5 hours reliving one of the most important pop cultural influences of my teenage years. After all, which child of the 90s didn’t desperately want to take a 10-point shot or a swing at the gold ball?

According to MTV’s website, the Rock N Jock franchise is alive and well, but that’s a bit misleading. Currently airing on MTV 2 on Saturday mornings, the latest version of Rock N Jock is a series hosted by Todd Richards and “Dirty” as they travel to various extreme sports events to talk to athletes like Shaun White and Ryan Sheckler, which basically sounds like every show that airs on Fuel TV. Clearly, it’s a far cry from the days of the Bricklayers and Violators battling for terrible fashion supremacy.

I’m certainly not the first blogger to get a wild hair and demand that MTV bring back the iconic softball, basketball, football and even bowling contests between actors, musicians and athletes, but as someone who once begged his mom to buy him a Homeboys baseball jersey for Christmas (thank you so much for not listening, mom) I think we’re due for some rematches. If Beavis and Butthead can make a comeback, then Rock N Jock certainly can, too.

Read the rest of this entry »

I probably have a few million first world complaints that I keep to myself for the sake of not being struck by lightning, but if I had to throw one out there, I’d say that Kate Upton doesn’t Tweet enough fun pictures of her and her friends. And no, it’s not because I like to sit in a dark room and photoshop myself into those pictures, despite what any court documentation might say. But when Kate does Tweet pics of her random adventures, it proves one of my oldest theories – life must be good for a gorgeous 19-year old supermodel.

Kate, a huge New York sports fan, recently toured the newest additions to Madison Square Garden and I’m sure it was the greatest thrill of her life. Must have been a million times better than those lame ass trips to Caribbean islands and sitting front row at anything on this planet that has a front row. But she Tweeted the pic of her and her friend Lizzy Glynn having fun so who am I to complain?

Oh, and if you weren’t aware, Kate was also photographed for Diddy’s new coffee table book about the female posterior, fittingly titled, “Culo.” I happen to have her contribution after the jump, as well as this week’s Wild Card Wednesday. Join me, won’t you?

Read the rest of this entry »