Detroit Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrera was arrested one week ago for suspicion of drunk driving and resisting arrest in St. Lucie County, also known as Florida’s Alabama. Miggy notably drank from a bottle of scotch whiskey in front of the arresting officers and told them that they didn’t understand his pain, as they used knee spikes to get him into the police vehicle. Cabrera’s arraignment date was set yesterday, and the perennial MVP candidate is due in St. Lucie court on March 16, according to the Washington Post, but his lawyer will probably just show up and handle the dirty work for the two misdemeanor charges.
Meanwhile, as the Tigers have started their Spring Training affairs, Cabrera has yet to report and there is no apparent timetable for his first appearance, making this a boring story for now. So I thought to myself, “Hey Burnsy, you can do 1,000 pushups, so what can we add to this story?” And the answer is a Miguel Cabrera advice meme after the jump.