Needs more Dulce Maria. (via NESN)

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Links

10 Shows that Netflix Should Revive Before ‘Jericho’ |Warming Glow|

ROFLMNBAO: The 2011-12 Season Awards Edition! |With Leather|

15 Inappropriate Instagrams As Inappropriate As Rihanna’s Inappropriate Instagrams |UPROXX|

Avengers Review: We have a Hulk! And not much else! But a Hulk is enough. |Film Drunk|

Did VH1 “Behind The Music” Crack Biggie’s Murder Case? |Smoking Section|

Star Trek: The Next Generation is 25-Years-Old. Celebrate With this Awesome Panel Featuring the Entire Cast |Gamma Squad|

‘Gosling And Booker’ Is The Web Comic Series The Internet’s Been Begging For |UPROXX|

Jimmy Fallon And Amy Poehler Star In More Fake Movie Posters For Movies That Should Be Real |UPROXX|

Expendables 2 Trailer: Arnold Schwarzenegger beats up a smart car |Film Drunk|

Kate Upton Is Getting A Trading Card And We Think We Know Why |With Leather|

Three Questions With T.Shirt x “Success To Me” Video |Smoking Section|

Five Clips From ‘Men In Black 3′ Try To Squeeze Out Our Last Ounce Of Care |Gamma Squad|

Joss Whedon Fans Need to Stop Complaining |Warming Glow|

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Or, “Dude, yer gettin’ arrested for a hate crime”.

From the Detroit Free Press:

Detroit Tigers outfielder Delmon Young was arrested and faces a hate crime-related charge in connection with a dispute outside a hotel along New York’s 6th Avenue early this morning, a New York police spokesman told the Free Press.

“Basically, there was an incident at the hotel (and) some anti-Semitic remarks,” said Det. Joseph Cavitolo, who added that alcohol was involved.

Our exclusive, three-part report on this very serious matter is after the jump.

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“HeeeeeeEEy.”

“HeeeEEEeeey.”

For some reason I’d convinced myself that the Buffalo Bills remix of ‘Kokomo’ was going to be the worst and most forced fan anthem of the year, but I severely underestimated the ability of Texas baseball fans to sit in their garage and sing into a beer bottle without any music, rhythm or reason. It’s not like Train’s “Hey Soul Sister” is a great song by any stretch of the imagination, but this lady’s hypnotically depressing version makes the original sound like the f**king Symphony No. 3 In E Flat Major. I looked in the YouTube description for some sort of context, or maybe a clue that this was all a big joke.

Mr Fister…. Bhhaahhhhahahhh

The best part is either the way they leave in some parts of the original (“radio, stereo”) despite it not vibing with the rest of the lyrics so they’ll have something to rhyme, or the way the song kinda devolves into misogyny for no reason (“you throw just like a girl, y’know”). I bet Mr. Fister is pretty happy he doesn’t sing like a girl, at least.

Be sure to watch this video now and save it somewhere, because when these people wake up at 3 PM this afternoon they’re going to remember that beer and laptops don’t mix, and take it down.

[h/t Outside The Box Score]

Major League Baseball missed out on a marquee Justin Verlander/C.C. Sabathia pitching match-up in game one of the ALDS because of a botched weather forecast, then suffered through two rain delays in the fifth inning of Saturday night’s ALCS game one in Texas. Commissioner Bud Selig and team representatives went into discussions about Sunday night’s ominous forecast and, not taking into consideration that it has rained exactly one time in Texas since 1985 and that was Saturday, postponed the game about five hours before the first pitch.

Texas Rangers president Nolan Ryan, a guy who I’m sure has kept cattle from herding off a cliffside during a thunderstorm at least once in his life, explains the call:

“With the forecast that we had … we didn’t want to experience what we did last night; and with the forecast for this evening, it appears that it’s going to be duplication of what we saw last night,” Rangers president Nolan Ryan said. “I think the one thing we’re concerned about is the integrity of the game and not [putting] either team in a situation where possibly the elements could affect the outcome of the game.”

By the time the game had been scheduled to start, the weatherman was calling for a “mostly cloudy” night with a 10% chance of rain. No rain had fallen for three hours, and there was no rain in the area an hour later. The grounds crew left a sad, dry tarp on the diamond as the reality sank in — Major League Baseball had just postponed a playoff game because it might have rained. At no point did Justin Verlander speak up and explain that God was just trying to tell him to knock it off.

I’m sure there was a lot going on behind the scenes. I’m sure the MLB didn’t want to inconvenience FOX Primetime by making them play old episodes of This Week In Baseball or re-runs of The Fresh Prince like TBS does when it rains too much, and sure, when you’re playing a string of important games you don’t want your guys trudging through mud and soggy grass. At the same time, one of the enduring images of sports is warriors battling the elements, powering through snow and torrential rain to prove their might, and what does it say about modern day baseball when dark clouds make two entire teams and a league go “welp, pack it in, too dangerous”?

Anyway, take a look at a few shots from the non-event, and compare/contrast them to Hurricane Katrina pictures at your leisure.

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LOL, bye guys.

Links

A Cruel End To A Surprising Season - Or as I like to call it, “the only good way for a season to end”. This is one of the few recaps of last night’s game coming out of New York to not feature the phrase “fill Yankee Stadium with the blood of our players and management”. [NY Times]

Adidas x Derrick Rose Behind The Scenes Of “The Bull” - This commercial would’ve been hilarious if it’d began with Rose being herded through the streets while people screamed and taunted him, then ended with him being stabbed to death by like four guys who aren’t even the bullfighter. [Smoking Section]

Football Guys: Arian Foster Analyzes Modern Traffic Infrastructure - If you aren’t reading Football Guys, Jon Bois’ football equiv to The Dugout, you are a dumb. I am geographically entitled to share every Football Guys about the Texans, btw. [SBN]

UFC 136 Cut List: 6 Fighters Who Need A Win Saturday Night - Don’t all of them need a win? I wish I knew how MMA worked. [Cage Potato]

The Path Of Mark Henry: An Inspirational Story of Splitting Wigs - From waste-of-time joke to the most hilariously awesome pro wrestler in the world, revisit the bizarre 15-year journey of The World’s Strongest Man, and try to forget about the whole “had sex with his sister” thing. [4th Letter]

CHIKARA Pro Wrestling In Tennessee - And speaking of wrestling, if you’re a wrestling fan who lives in NC or TN and you aren’t at this weekend’s CHIKARA shows, you need a lobotomy. KANA vs. Sara Del Rey, for crying out loud. If you’re there, be sure to find me and say hi. [CHIKARA]

10 Better Ways to Spend 4 ‘Kardashian Wedding’ Hours - 1. Stabbing self in crotch, 2. immolation, 3. marathon of “Scrubs” on Comedy Central (just kidding about that last one) [AOL TV]

‘The League’ Multipanes Are The Best - leeloo dallas multipane [UPROXX]

Top Ten Real People I’d Never Want to Be Stuck In a Cage With - Pretty sure I don’t want to be stuck in a cage with anybody. Except maybe the Smashing Pumpkins, for the jokes. [Brobible]

Anna Faris’ Husband Chris Pratt Gave Their Cat Away On Twitter - Scott Hatteberg counts as sports! I like that he’s “Anna Faris’ Husband Chris Pratt”, as if he isn’t in movies and on television shows. Yeah, The House Bunny is too big of a star for me to accept you on your own merits, Chris. [FARK]

25 Actors And Celebrities You Didn’t Know Appeared In ‘Star Trek’ - James Worthy should’ve worn his goggles over the make-up. Also, sadly I have dated enough uncool girls to know about all these people being on Star Trek. [Gamma Squad]

Frotcast 68: Real Steel, Burnsy’s Corner - Boxing robots! I can’t wait for this to be in theaters, I feel like I’ve been watching trailers and seeing commercials for it since I was born. [Film Drunk]

Aw, NBC Canceled ‘Free Agents’ :( - Just cancel everything and show “Home Improvement” re-runs. More power arf arf arf [Warming Glow]

With Moneyball set to hit theaters tomorrow, Sony Pictures has the PR and marketing armada in full force, with the exclamation point being Brad Pitt on the cover of Sports Illustrated this week. “Moneyball,” of course, is an excellent book by Michael Lewis that tells the true story of Oakland Athletics GM Billy Beane and his (sort of) revolutionary sabermetrics system. Moneyball the movie, though, is a fictitious take on the book that stars Pitt as Beane and Jonah Hill as a character based on former A’s assistant GM Paul DePodesta, who didn’t want his name in the movie.

I share similar opinions about this film with our comrade at WWTDD, but baseball movies are still like sex with a pizza to me – it’s never bad. Either way, I was pretty disappointed with the cast of Moneyball, in that there are no current or former MLB players playing themselves. But then one listing caught my attention:

Royce Clayton as Miguel Tejada

That’s right, former MLB shortstop for 11 teams, Royce Clayton is making his acting debut as Miguel Tejada. I pray that he just has one line and he walks into the clubhouse and in a terrible accent asks if anyone has seen his vitamins. Runner-up for best casting choice goes to actor Gary “G. Thang” Johnson as Jermaine Dye. I’m strongly considering changing my nickname to B. Thang.

Also making the rounds for Moneyball is Hill, who was in Oakland yesterday to throw out the first pitch for the Athletics against the Detroit Tigers. Hill is on a first pitch parade, having tossed out the opener at the Chicago White Sox game last Wednesday as well. But Hill’s first effort came more than a year ago, when he threw out the first pitch at a Boston Red Sox game. I thought we might take a look at how his game has progressed.

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