Kansas City’s Jeff Francoeur has a strong arm in right. Detroit’s Victor Martinez is not fast. Dude’s 34 years old, you know? He wasn’t fast a decade ago. But here he is being waved home, kicking up dirt behind the also-not-fast Prince Fielder, en route to a home plate collision. What’s a guy to do in a situation like this? Plow through the catcher and try to score? Try to jump him? Slide?

If you’re Victor Martinez, you do your best impression of Grandpa Simpson at La Maison Derrière and book it to the dugout. Compare and contrast the above video with the following GIF:

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Detroit Tigers manager Jim Leyland is awesome because he’s a grizzled, old badass who plays by his own rules and is one of the last remaining icons of baseball’s old school. He’s like the Robert Duvall of managing. But just writing that makes it feel like the guy is 105-years old, when he’s only 68. That didn’t stop people from trying to push him from the dugout to the retirement home, though, after his Tigers failed to win the World Series.

So when asked about possible retirement last week, Leyland reminded us why so many people just adore the guy.

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The story of a lead actor living in a world of bit players, from the YouTube description:

I shot some rioting go down on Muni on McAllister and Larkin (San Francisco, Ca) after the San Francisco Giants won the 2012 MLB World Series. I started filming toward the end, about ten minutes before the cops showed up. There were a few buses stalled there because the streets were overflowing with people. When rioting began on Muni, this particular gentleman on the back of the bus was having none of it. He sat there stonefaced amidst all the chaos, presumably texting to his friends about his miserable experience commuting on Muni yet again. Everyone outside noticed his lack of celebratory and destructive spirit, so they started taking pictures and video of him until the lights went out.

This guy.

Maybe I’m not the type to turn into the apes from 2001: A Space Odyssey and start smashing boar skulls with a bone because my favorite sports team won a game, but I’m on The Dude Who Wouldn’t Riot’s side. He’s the one guy on screen with a head on his shoulders. I am pretty interested to know what he’s doing with his time (I don’t buy the “texting his friends about his miserable experience” line), so I consulted the comments section and compiled my ten favorite theories. Those are below.

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Today’s headline brought to you by this lady. In all seriousness, congratulations to the San Francisco Giants and all the Giants fans I know. Let’s hope next year’s World Series contains at least one team with a racist name from a city where nothing ever happens.

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Links

The Best Fan-Made Halloween Costumes From 12 Of TV’s Finest Shows |Warming Glow|

A Collection Of The Worst Band Shirts You’ll Ever Have The Misfortune Of Seeing |UPROXX|

Arnold Schwarzenegger Looks Badass In ‘Ten’ |Film Drunk|

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Hold Me I’m Scared: The Best 80s Horror Movie VHS Covers |Gamma Squad|

…And Then They Asked Alicia Keys To Pick Jay-Z Or Nas. |Smoking Section|

THE BEN WEAR STRIPES. THE BEN THROW TO STRIPE MAN |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Riding high after their come-from-behind NCLS victory over the St. Louis Cardinals, the San Francisco Giants were not supposed to be able to defeat Justin Verlander and the Detroit Tigers in Game 1 of the World Series. In fact, there were many sports writers and fans alike that believed that the Giants and their hot, scrappy bats wouldn’t even be able to score a run off of Verlander, who is arguably the greatest pitcher in the universe right now.

Of course, all of those people were wrong and Pablo Sandoval made history last night, as he joined Babe Ruth, Reggie Jackson and Albert Pujols as the only players to ever hit three home runs in one game in the World Series. Joe Morgan probably believes that he has, too, but we know better. As for his feat, the man they call Panda is humbled.

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I’m glad I went to a Giants game in San Francisco in August and only dropped 40 bucks instead of trying to pay for World Series parking. Leave your full-sized SUV at home and take the bus, jerks. (pic via Big League Stew)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
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Links

The 7 Bands That Won CMJ Music Marathon 2012 |UPROXX|

A Very Important ‘Zooey Deschanel Boob Fight’ GIF |Warming Glow|

Denny’s is offering Hobbit breakfasts now |Film Drunk|

It’s The Best Of The 2012 Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade Contest |With Leather|

Olly Moss Projects Some Pop Cultural Silhouettes |Gamma Squad|

Why You Should Be Watching The CW’s New Series “Arrow” |Smoking Section|

Peyton Manning Is Denver’s Dark Lord |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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