‘A Boy Named Sue’ is a Shel Silverstein poem turned Johnny Cash classic about a deadbeat dad who abandons his family, but leaves his son with a lady’s name to make sure he’ll be tough. Who could understand this turmoil as well as a guy named Kim?

Out for breakfast at Hell’s Kitchen in Minneapolis before shootaround, rookie Kim English amazed the crowd with a rendition of “A Boy Named Sue” by the one and only Johnny Cash.

As Ball Don’t Lie notes, the karaoke took place on Saturday before Detroit’s 107-101 loss to the Minnesota Timberwolves. English earned a DNP for that game. So hey, maybe his appropriateness and singing skills won’t translate to more playing time, but maybe he’ll get to open for Shane Battier on the South Beach Battioke cruise.

I really want Kim English to be a star now, just so he can start doing karaoke version of songs from ‘American Recordings’ when he turns 38.

By now you’ve probably seen it, DeAndre Jordan’s life-altering dunk on Brandon Knight in last night’s ridiculous 129-97 Los Angeles Clippers victory over the Detroit Pistons. Blake Griffin has called it the “Dunk of the Year” and Twitter instantly turned it into the 2013 version of the Dominique Wilkins poster I once had hanging in my bedroom as a kid. Poor Brandon Knight, just minding his own business as he traveled into the paint against one of the NBA’s most aggressive dunkers. Knight can go ahead and take a seat next to John Lucas now, because his career won’t ever be the same.

That’s not hyperbole. Dunks like this change lives, because no matter how well Knight performs the rest of this season or every season beyond until he retires, we’re always going to hear his name and laugh – “You mean the guy that DeAndre Jordan killed?” As fast as we move from meme to meme and GIF to GIF in this Internet era, we never forget. Just like Manny Pacquiao before him, Brandon Knight was dragged through the streets of Meme City last night after that “Just another day at the office” dunk by Jordan.

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My feelings for Tyler Hansbrough can best be summed up by this classic Kids in the Hall sketch. For all I know, Hansbrough could be the nicest, sweetest guy in the world and the greatest teammate that any guy could ever play basketball with. But his face – I see it and I just start punching my monitor and OH GOD WHY DO I WANT TO PUNCH HIS FACE SO MUCH???

But I digress. Say what you want about Hansbrough, but his ability to get under his opponents’ skin is unparalleled, like a 2013 version of Dennis Rodman without all of the tattoos, piercings and venereal diseases. And Hansbrough’s best efforts were on display Saturday night, as the Indiana Pacers pummeled the Detroit Pistons for the second night in a row, but not before Will Bynum took a cheap shot at Hansbrough’s gut.

It’s not his face, but it’s a good start.

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We may have found the second book for the With Leather Book Club

Dennis Rodman, the former NBA great whose off-the-court life has included multiple arrests for domestic abuse, a nolo contendere to drunk driving and a tag team pro wrestling match against Karl Malone, has written a children’s book. Because of course he has.

Behold: Dennis The Wild Bull, a story about how being different makes you special, as told through the eyes of a bull that looks and acts exactly like Dennis Rodman.

The Hall of Famer’s book, “Dennis The Wild Bull,” came out today, and fans will immediately recognize Rodman’s influence. The large red bull on the cover has flowing red hair, two nose rings, a tattoo and red stubble under his chin.

…

“More than anything, I just want little kids today just to understand: Ain’t no matter what you do in life — be different, rich or poor, man — guess what? It’s OK to be who you are pretty much and you’ll be accepted,” Rodman said.

If you want to be “who you are pretty much,” you can pick up the book on Amazon.

I can’t decide which is funnier, the namedropping of Rodman’s previous books in the Associated Press release or Rodman’s follow-up, wherein he describes his ability to write “Dennis Rodman, but an animal” as “pretty much incredible.”

The author, whose previous works include titles such as “Bad as I Wanna Be” and “I Should Be Dead by Now,” chose a different audience this time. He said even now, he is recognized by children who never saw him play, and those are the ones he wanted to reach.

“For a guy like me to be very eccentric, to even go to extremes to write a children’s book with all the wild things I do and make it believable was pretty much incredible,” Rodman said.

Co-written with Dustin Warburton, the book tells the story of Dennis, a bull who is taken away from his family and forced to live with other bulls in a rodeo. Though he looks nothing like them, they come to accept him and they all become friends.

I hope this is a trilogy, and that part one ends with Dennis The Wild Bull going to jail like Not Tank Abbott in Bar Brawler. I also hope that Rodman accidentally hears Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer for the first time next Christmas and just goes “ffffuuuuuuuuu.”

For bonus lulz, here’s the pensive author portrait on the back of the book:

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On Friday night, the Miami Heat laid a 22-point drubbing on the Detroit Pistons, and that’s not news because we expect the Heat to beat a 10th place team by more than 110-88 every single time. What is news, though, is that I think we just heard the dying breaths and gasps for relevance of the remaining people who really, really hate LeBron James.

I’m not naïve enough to believe that there aren’t people who still hate the self-proclaimed King, but after his random act of awesomeness during Friday night’s halftime routine at the American Airlines Arena, it’s kind of hard to not at least like the guy. In case you haven’t already watched it 20 times, a fan was brought to the half court line for a chance to win $75,000, and he put up one of the most atrocious hook shots that we’ve ever seen.

But science be damned, the ball went in, that fan won himself a giant check and James rushed him from the bench and tackled him to the ground in celebration.

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Kyle Singler’s walrus-like quest for buckets of all shapes and sizes continues in London, where he shoots the aforementioned buckets over a double-decker bus, over a MOVING double-decker bus, and FROM a double-decker bus. You know. Because “London.” And also BUCKETS. (via It’s Always Sunny In Detroit)

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Links

1600 Penn’s Martha MacIsaac Has Seen Rick Astley Perform Live, Would Totally Punch A Cute Baby In The Face |Warming Glow|

The Zac Efron Dildo Meltdown of 2013 |Film Drunk|

15 Overused Pop Culture Catchphrases That Should Never Make A Comeback |UPROXX|

The Most Important Movement Of 2013 Is Alive: @Boobs Accounts Are Bouncing All Over! |With Leather|

Amy Manson May Be The Next To Sport Wonder Woman’s Patriotic One-Piece |Gamma Squad|

Jay-Z’s Words Of Wisdom For Every NBA Team |Smoking Section|

I Will Click on Anything About Manti Te’o |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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