The best part of Detroit Pistons center Ben Wallace talking to The Score about WWE Wrestlemania XXVIII is the realization that Ben Wallace watches wrestling like my parents: he remembers how much he loved wrestling in the 80s, thinks Stone Cold Steve Austin was cool and guesses the finish for the John Cena versus The Rock main-event will be “nobody” winning and them “fighting to the back somewhere”. All he needs to do now is get legitimately upset when somebody cheats and he’s my Mom.

As the worldwide leader in cramming wrestling coverage down the throats of a mainstream sports comedy blog audience, I guess my next career goals should be to 1) take Arda Ocal’s job, and 2) find every mainstream sports star who likes pro graps and badger them to fantasy book it. I want to know what Travis Hafner would do with the Funkasaurus. You know, besides grounding out to him.

My personal prediction, for the record: Cena rips out The Rock’s heart and shows it to him.

The other day I wrote a compelling and thorough hastily organized piece about the asinine coaching carousel in the NBA and how teams just keep pulling out old retreads. The Golden State Warriors bucked that trend by hiring ABC NBA analyst and former Indiana Pacers guard Mark Jackson as their new coach and the Detroit Pistons seemed to be on the right track to renovation by considering iconic franchise bad boy Bill Laimbeer for their vacant coaching gig.

But the Pistons are still mulling other options like former Indiana University scumbag recruiter coach Kelvin Sampson and former Atlanta Hawks loser coach Mike Woodson. And now we can add to that list… Isiah Thomas.

*slams head against desk, signs Eddy Curry to a 10-year deal*

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Since the NBA Playoffs last 8 months and the Finals of one season span the course of 4 decades, most teams are already going about their business while the Twittersphere is lighting up with referee death threats from fans of the Dallas Mavericks and the Miami Heat. The first step for the crappy teams is finding a new coach, so of course owners and general managers are sifting through the bargain bins for discounts on previously-used team personnel that couldn’t succeed in other cities but might do better with a little refurbishing.

The Los Angeles Lakers have already hired former Cleveland Cavaliers coach Mike Brown after flirting with and teasing Brian Shaw, as the Lakers haven’t even called him since hiring Brown. The Houston Rockets decided that it was time for Boston Celtics legend Kevin McHale to stop giving away All-Stars and start coaching them (if they ever sign one again) and Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni says that he feels confident with his job security after Donnie Walsh was canned this weekend for not taking a pay cut*. That leaves the Golden State Warriors, possibly the Minnesota Timberwolves, and the Detroit Pistons without coaches, and the Pistons are already at the bin, sifting away.

Pistons president Joe Dumars and his basketball staff have a preliminary list of candidates including former Hawks coach Mike Woodson, Mavs assistant Dwane Casey, former Nets coach Lawrence Frank, Bucks assistant Kelvin Sampson, and ABC/ESPN broadcaster Mark Jackson, league sources told CBSSports.com. Former Pistons star Bill Laimbeer also is expected to receive consideration, as is Hornets assistant Michael Malone. (CBS Sports)

Please, Detroit, not that I care about the Pistons or want to see them return to dominance, but for the betterment of the entertainment value of the NBA – please hire Bill Laimbeer. Hell, he could end up being a fantastic head coach. But at the very least he brings some balls back to a league that had its pair detached years ago. And if I’m willing to support a long-running Bill Simmons argument, then by God I must be serious.

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During a game against the Philadelphia 76ers, Detroit Pistons coach John Kuester got ejected for arguing a call and yelling a lot. The appropriate response by the players would be…. well, I’m not exactly sure how you should react when your coach screams his way off the court, but I don’t think laughing is the right answer.

Now, obviously this could be similar to a Derek Anderson situation (IT’S NOT FUNNY), but whether the Pistons were laughing at Kuester getting kicked out or not, it’s a very good summation of how Detroit has been this season. Nothing has really gone right for them, players supposedly skipped practice, then they didn’t, Rip Hamilton yelled at Kuester and they’ve been plain bad with a 22-39 record.

Good thing the Red Wings are doing well and sitting in second place in their conference! If you’re from Detroit though, and you don’t like hockey, I guess you could just keep watching this commercial over and over again until baseball starts. How many more days until Miguel Cabrera makes DH stand for “Drunk Hitter”? That would get baseball more fans; make one guy in the lineup drunk and play. I’m on my way to your house right now, Bud Selig.

Boston Celtics center Kevin Garnett has been accused of…something. There’s no fun, politically-correct way to summarize calling someone a “cancer patient,” but that’s the charge being levied against Garnett by Detroit Pistons big man Charlie Villanueva. Villanueva suffers from alopecia, which some of you heathens out there might refer to as “Roger Sitwell Disease,” the inability to grow hair anywhere on his body. Yes, ladies. There, too.

“KG talks alot of crap, he’s prob never been in a fight,” Villanueva wrote, “I would love to get in a ring with him, I will expose him.”

“KG called me a cancer patient, I’m pissed because, u know how many people died from cancer, and he’s tossing it like it’s a joke,” he wrote.

“I wouldn’t even trip about that, but a cancer patient, I know way 2 many people who passed away from it, and I have a special place 4 those.” –CV31 (Villanueva’s Twitter page).

I have no qualms with trash talk during a game, which, by the way, the Pistons lost handily. This almost sounds like something of an excuse. Is this the first time that Charlie has ever taken crap for being hairless? I can’t imagine that to be true. .

Mississippi State’s defensive end Nick Bell, who actually did die of cancer. I’m sure Garnett is working on some great material for that; cancer in the South must be comedy gold to a guy like that. Something else you might appreciate.

So, how’s that Allen Iverson-Chauncey Billups trade looking now?  Not too bad at all, says the lazy pundit who only works in broad strokes.

After a few games of growing pains, the Iverson Experiment has taken off in Motown.  The Pistons delivered the Lakers their first loss on Friday, and last night they cooled off the red-hot Cavs, snapping Cleveland’s eight-game winning streak with a 96-89 win in Auburn Hills.  Iverson (23 points) and Rasheed Wallace (21/15) carried Detroit through the key fourth-quarter surge.

Meanwhile, the Nuggets improved to 5-1 since the addition of Billups to their lineup with a 91-81 victory over the Spurs.  Billups led Denver’s balanced attack with 22 points, while Team Floppy Bitchass fell to 5-6 on the season and is still missing Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili.  Hooray!

Elsewhere: The TrailBlazers broke out the whoopass for Greg Oden’s home debut.  Portland blew out the Bulls 116-74, and Oden had 11 points, 10 rebounds, and 3 blocks in 17 minutes of PT… Dwyane Wade went off for 40 points, 11 assists, and 5 blocks, but the Heat still fell to the Raptors.  You’ll live to regret this, Canada!