Traditional pictures of Adam and Eve have too many boobies and wee wees.

As we discussed last week when news of Chyna being hammered surprised no one, the AVN Awards took place two weeks ago in Las Vegas at the Hard Rock Hotel. Well it turns out that the sins of the adult film industry had some company that weekend, as Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow was also staying at the Hard Rock. Coincidence? OR SATAN???

Actually, it was a coincidence, because he was there for a Nike photo shoot. But the Tebow news does not stop there. In the Feb. 6 edition of The National Enquirer, a “report” claims that Tebow was the target of none other than Kim Kardashian as her next athlete boyfriend. Citing her need to repair her image after she gave a colossal middle finger to poor people and marriage, the Kardashian machine apparently believes that Tebow would be her best bet.

Thank God he’s not a moron.

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When it comes to Playboy Magazine, I look at it a lot like “Saturday Night Live.” Both are iconic institutions that have created sources of inspiration for many people over the last three decades or more, and both were revolutionary at their respective times of inception. On the other hand, they’ve both been running on fumes creatively for roughly the last 10 years or so, as they’ve surrendered to the status quo instead of constantly trying to raise the bar, as any source of creativity and imagination should.

And while both are criticized immensely for their lack of effort and uninspired retreads, Playboy at least has boobies, and that’s why we’re here today. Despite Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos being on the wrong end of a 45-10 annihilation against the New England Patriots on Saturday, people still love them some Tebow, and that includes a bunch of Playboy Playmates, who spent last week Tweeting pictures of themselves Tebowing. Despite their best, incredibly sexy efforts, Tebow did not succumb to their seductive ways as he continues to save himself for the virginal Katy Perry.

On a sadder note, with the playoffs over for the Broncos, so ends the excitement that we’ve had with Tebowmania. Frankly, I’m a little exhausted from the whole thing, so unless some actual news suddenly breaks out, we’re gonna take a little break from discussing everything Tebow after today. At least for a day until I remember how awesome his name is for web traffic. Until then, bring on the sexy ladies!

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Welcome to our weekly installment of Friday Face-Off, which pits two insanely popular YouTube videos against each other to determine which is the champion of the week. Most of the time, these videos will involve adorable animals or hilarious violence. But sometimes, they might just involve sports. As always, send your submissions to BurnsyWL@gmail.com and if your video wins you will receive one of our brand new, not-yet-seen With Leather t-shirts.

This week has undoubtedly been about one man – Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow. After he helped lead the Broncos to a wild card game victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers, Tebow has been the non-stop focus of every major sports media outlet, including flat out absurd knob polishing by the Worldwide Leader.

But what we’ve been fascinated by is Tebow’s impression on the average Joe. In this case, it’s what he’s doing to the average Janes that is highlighting today’s Friday-Faceoff. Last summer, the viral video of the moment belonged to our beloved service men and women asking various celebrities to attend their respective Marine Balls. Obviously, Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis both famously accepted their invites and attended. But now the spotlight shines at Tebow.

Two girls have recently created YouTube videos asking the Hunk of the Holiest Huddle to be their date for two different events. One is simply asking for Timmy to take her out for a date date, while the other wants him on her arm for her sorority formal. Decisions, decisions. So what say you, With Leatherites? Shall we help Tebow make his choice?

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And here I thought The Venture Bros. was the only show that did David Bowie jokes.

Last night’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon featured Tebowie, advertised as “for the first time … Tim Tebow and David Bowie together as one” (unless you count Tim Machine and Tim Machine II). Fallon launched into a parody of Bowie’s “Space Oddity”, replacing Ground Control with Jesus Christ and one hundred-thousand miles with 316 yards. It’s not laugh out loud funny but it is clever, which you can’t say for every Tebow anthem (a fact you’ll learn more about that in today’s Friday Face-Off).

I hope the Broncos find a way to beat the Patriots just so the incessant coverage of Tebow can continue, because he’s such a great role model to Young Americans. What am I saying? Denver will Never Let Me Down.

Complete song lyrics are included after the jump.

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This is why we can’t have nice things, Internet.

Tim Tebow, as we all know very well by now, is a good Christian boy with strong morals and ethics that he has used to develop himself into one heck of a role model and successful professional athlete. And because it all boils down to his religion, he has quickly become the most polarizing person in professional sports. That means one thing – page views like a mother f*cker.

Nobody knows that more than gossip sites, which thrive on being able to make up anything they want, attribute it all to “sources close to *insert celebrity’s name*” and just sit back and watch the traffic numbers roll up. It’s basically the opposite of when I post about my love for the German Fencing League. (Soon enough, Hans and Friedrich.)

Enter OK! Magazine, Hollywood Life and dozens of other sites that yesterday circulated some version of this “news” with headlines suggesting that Tebow was possibly dating not-even-completely-divorced-yet pop star Katy Perry.

“[Katy's] mentioned on more than one occasion how much she likes Tim,” a source tells OK! magazine.”Katy’s mom firmly believes the best cure for heartache is to quickly fall in love again… In her mind, Tebow is the perfect guy for her daughter. He’s handsome, charming, intelligent and above all, a good Christian.”

Katy’s parents have gone as far as inviting Tim to speak at the church Katy used to sing at in Huntington Beach, Calif. Of course — when Katy will be there!

So a “source” told a magazine that’s name makes absolutely ZERO sense that Tebow is a good Christian that is easy on the eyes. Who was the source – anyone with a pulse? Have we finally reached a point that I can just say that a “source” told me whatever I want people to believe?

If that’s the case, a source told me Mike Vick is dating Casey Anthony. Another source told me that Mitt Romney has a sex tape with Lindsay Lohan and yet another source told me that LeBron James has an illegitimate child with Kirstie Alley and it was born with pineapples for hands. Hey, I’m just telling you what my sources told me.

I read through a lot of gossip sites and strange, random fan blogs each week, not because I want to actually know anything about the personal lives of fame-starved reality trolls, but because we like to make fun of really stupid stuff that people do. Thankfully, I didn’t have to go much further than NFL.com for this week’s most asinine celebrity idea, and of course it involves our favorite Man of Every Hour, Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow.

There’s no doubt that Tebow’s stock is higher than ever after the Broncos’ win over the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday – even the mayor of Pittsburgh is Tebowing – and he has already been dealing with rumors that he may have been responsible for skier Lindsey Vonn’s recent divorce. So apparently that was enough for NFL.com to ask: “Hey, what if Tebow knocked up a bunch of married women? What would those little hell-bound, soulless bastards look like?”

And thanks to the site MorphThings.com, the fine folks at NFL.com got their answers. Their incredibly weird-looking, borderline creepy answers.

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