Tim Tebow’s brother Peter lives in Denver, loves Jesus (according to his Twitter bio, at least, I don’t know him personally or anything) and has over 15,000 Twitter followers, because every Bill Clinton needs his Roger. When the Broncos went down to the Ravens on Saturday, Peter took to the Tweeter and did a little harmless gloating:

That’s not too bad, right? A little misplaced schadenfreude from a guy with a misguided perspective. “My brother wasn’t good enough to play for your football team! I HOPE YOU LOSE! I also hope every other team also loses, I guess!” etc. Besides, his brother kinda-sorta plays for the Jets. What’s he supposed to do, enjoy victories?

Of course, by Monday the Twitter police was all over him, and Pete was forced to issue an apology for having football opinions:

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Earlier this week, in the Fantasy Football Support Group post, I broke down the strange, new curse that is the Thursday Night Football QB conundrum. Basically, with very few exceptions, quarterbacks – and a lot of stars in general – have been terrible on the NFL Network this season. As I finished writing that, something horrifying dawned on me – I have Peyton Manning on Thursday night this week in the first round of my main fantasy football league. F*********************ck me.

Even worse, I’m playing against Demaryius Thomas while I have Eric Decker. And I know that none of you care, but I’m FREAKING OUT, damn it. What’s that? I should just not play fantasy football, you say? Who let the devil comment on this website, anyway?

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After a brief hiatus, the Sports On TV column returns with one of the most requested shows ever: Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s 16-season strong cultural landmark, ‘South Park’.

‘South Park’ has been around since 1997, and has changed along with the times. When it started, Parker and Stone were getting $1,200 to make video Christmas cards for Fox executives. In 2012, they are influential, Tony Award-winning, multi-millionaire media moguls. One thing hasn’t changed: in season one, Kenny was getting ripped apart by football players. In season 16, Tom Brady is guzzling a Gatorade bottle of a child’s semen. Sports are one of the weirdest, stupidest, most ritualistic and overly-glorififed things human beings can do, and ‘South Park’ has been in tune with that since the very beginning.

So, in the Interest of easing us back into regular Thursday columns, here are my choices for the 20 greatest South Park sports moments. Like a lot of the shows we do, there are a ton of moments we had to leave out, so a part 2 will probably happen. If we left out your favorite moment, or you have something to say about a moment we chose, be sure to drop down into our comments section and let us know.

As an added bonus, participating in the discussion and sharing the column on Twitter or Facebook (courtesy of one of those handy buttons at the bottom of the post) will net you the BAT DAD BADGE. You don’t want the Bat Dad Badge? I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA.

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Phil Mickelson had a chance to raise a million dollars for children and failed to do so because he is a terrible person and should never be allowed to golf again.

Okay, it’s not that severe, but here’s the set-up Phil was facing when he stepped onto the field during halftime during last night’s Denver Broncos/San Diego Charges Monday Night Football game:

Few players are more comfortable with a wedge in their hands than Phil Mickelson. But the question on Monday night will be whether he can do it when it’s someone else’s money on the line.

Mickelson will attempt a wedge shot during halftime of tonight’s matchup between the Denver Broncos and the San Diego Chargers. (Mickelson is a San Diego native and a longtime Chargers fan.) Lefty will go endzone-to-endzone, taking aim at a bull’s-eye-style target in order to win up to $1,000,000 in books for First Book, a local non-profit, according to the shot’s sponsor, KPMG. (via GOLF.com)

As you can see in the video below, Phil shanked it (I don’t know what “shank” means), and kids will only receive a $50,000 donation, the lowest donation offered for the shot. Those poor children. Phil, if you were better at golf, children would be able to live.

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Blogging icon and the Internet’s most famous St. Louis Cardinals fan Will Leitch recently penned a piece for Sports on Earth about the realization that some of us Best Fans in Baseball are dealing with – people f*cking hate the Cardinals. I didn’t notice it so much after the Cards won the World Series last year, as people just sort of nodded at their win and moved right along.

Now, though, as they’ve once again knocked off the team with the best record in baseball and are up 1-0 on the San Francisco Giants in the NLCS, people are really starting to show their hatred. Especially on Twitter. Who knew that people could be so mean on the Internet?

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It’s impossible to overstate the brilliance and cultural impact of ‘The Simpsons’. It’s the reason why most of us think what we think is funny is funny, whether we’ll admit it or not.

It’s just as impossible to agree on what constitutes the “golden age” of the show. Everyone agrees that there’s a certain time frame in which ‘The Simpsons’ was the best show on television (and possibly ever), but we all have a different interpretation of when that era started and stopped. Some people think it was the first 9 or 10 season. Some people narrow that down to 1-8. Some people with impossible f**king standards think it peaked from seasons 3-5, or even 4.

For this week’s Sports On TV column, I used the most generally agreed-upon definition of the show’s prime: season 2 through season 8. Tackling the best sports moments of a monster like ‘The Simpsons’ is tough, so consider this a Part 1 of its own series, destined to include a Part 2, Part 3, and even a Part 4, should we delve into those wretched, later season guest star hives like “Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass”.

So please enjoy the 20 best sports moments from the golden age of ‘The Simpsons,’ and be sure to drop us a comment and share your love. Special thanks to Ari Amaru for the screencaps.

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