On Friday night, LeBron James and the Miami Heat handed the Detroit Pistons a 106-92 whooping at the Palace of Auburn Hills that was considerably more lopsided than the numbers show. Regardless, the big story coming from that game is the self-anointed King’s handling of a heckler who invoked the good name of Gloria James, LeBron’s mother.

Asked the Pistons fan, “Is your mom going to Boston for Valentine’s Day?” And that’s humorous because LeBron’s mom allegedly had sexual congress with Delonte West, who now plays for the Boston Celtics. But to a guy who makes a bajillion dollars a year and hosts TV specials to announce his free agency plans, there are some lines you just don’t cross.

“What did you say to me?” James asked the fan.

“I said, ‘Is your mom going to Boston for Valentine’s Day?’” the heckler repeated.

“Say whatever you want to say to me. Just don’t be disrespectful, alright? Alright, OK?” he told the heckler. “I don’t give a (expletive) what you say. If you’re disrespectful, it’s a problem.” (Via USA Today)

This is a tough one, because on one hand LeBron is a gigantor douchenugget so it’s fun to make fun of him about his teammates having so little respect for him that they’ll sleep with his mom. On the other hand… there really is no other hand. LeBron’s a worldwide icon, whether we like it or not, but if he’s so magnificent and worthy of daily praise, spending his time reposting people saying how great he is on Twitter, then tough titties, dude. You’re gonna get heckled, so live with it.

More than anything, I’m disappointed in the heckler and LeBron for not turning this into an episode of “Yo Mama”. God knows Wilmer Valderrama could use the cash.

Video after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

ASYLUM POLL: Should the media be reporting on the Delonte West rumors?

If you’ve recently been away from this series of tubes, you may not be familiar with all of the hullabaloo surrounding Delonte West. Luckily for you, Young Jack Thriller is here to give you the lowdown on the rumors, which have yet to be confirmed or denied. I have no idea what the story is with that left eye, but it definitely makes the video all the more enchanting. The clips from Friday don’t hurt either.

After hearing Young Jack’s perspective on the rumor, I’m ready to give him a spot as one of the greatest orators in the history of the world. This guy could probably stop that oil leak in the Gulf just by staring at it. Hilarity ensues after the jump. (Warning, the language is definitely NSFW) Read the rest of this entry »

There were a variety of factors that could have been used as scapegoats for the Cleveland Cavaliers losing to the Boston Celtics in the Eastern Semis, and the sports blog TerezOwens is going for the granddaddy of all excuses – LeBron James was distracted because his mom slept with Delonte West. I knew it had to do with sex, but figured it was just Antawn Jamison screwing the pooch.

Needless to say, the rumor comes at a hectic time for the guy who dubbed himself King James, what with all the pesky Calipari/Bulls rumors and Scores luring him to New York City with a lifetime of steak. And this is one hell of an accusation to drop on someone, especially Delonte West, who had a problem finding the hole all season.

Probe the situation, Examiner.com:

LeBron James has made no secret that his mother Gloria is his rock. She can be found courtside at all of the Cleveland Cavaliers home games, and most of the away games as well.

Fans will see LeBron James give his mother a kiss before heading into the locker room after each game she attends. Gloria James even reportedly lives with LeBron and his family which includes his long time girlfriend Savannah and their two children, LeBron Jr, and Brice Maximus James.

Gloria also tucks LeBron in at night, reads him Berenstain Bears stories and packs his meals in his favorite My Pet Monster lunchbox. LeBron’s lawyers sent TerezOwens a cease and desist email, denying the rumors of an alleged affair. The lawyers claim the rumor is “categorically false” and defamatory, adding, “No thinking person could possibly believe such rubbish,” according to TMZ.com.

Not so fast, Law Firm of Hey, Look & Over There. The story’s far-fetched, sure, but is it really that hard to believe? Tiger Woods is banging porn stars, Ben Roethlisberger has as many rape allegations as he does Super Bowl titles, Alex Rodriguez left his wife for Madonna, Cristiano Ronaldo has huge hooker orgies, and Sammy Sosa turned white. Nothing is too over-the-top for a sports story anymore. Unless it involves the Cubs winning.

This has made the rounds to some extent already, but this is one of the better (and more creative) athlete-produced videos. Cavaliers guard Delonte West reminds us why we never go to KFC anymore, but seriously, if you want to wait forever in a drive-thru (and who doesn’t?) Go to Hardee’s. Dear God, you could finish half of a Harry Potter book waiting on your Thickburger and fries there. But Delonte and his unidentified friend make good use of the time, dropping some tracks and laying down some beats. Did I say that correctly? I couldn’t be any whiter if I had “Fruit of the Loom” stitched into my back. via.

Delonte West is currently of the Cavaliers, formerly of the Celtics and forever carrier of a nasty strain of the herp. West at least flaps his disease-marked lips in an interesting fashion in this discursive interview he conducted during his days with the Celtics. It's really quite amazing. He begins the interviewing saying he hopes no one drinks out of his favorite cup then trails off. The herp can do terrible things to your mind that way.

In case any ladies are reading, I like riding my horse as well. That horse is heroin, though. That statement is bound to attract the kind of women Delonte has been with. Maybe, Delonte, too. He claims to have met Bugs Bunny, you see.

[Balls Don't Lie]