This barely-sports-related story out of Delaware kinda left a bitter taste in my mouth (on the bright side, I finally know how you mom feels after all these years). State troopers showed up at a guy’s driveway recently, not because he was beating his wife or cooking meth or ripping the tags off his mattresses, but because he had a basketball hoop in front of his house.

DelDOT said the hoops violated Delaware’s “Clear Zone” law, which prohibits trees, shrubs, hoops and other objects from being within seven feet of the edge of the pavement in subdivisions.

This hoop, which her husband said had been up for 60 years, fell under state scrutiny, along with seven other hoops, after an anonymous letter from someone in the neighborhood complained.

–The Consumerist.

This is just sad. No, I’m not talking about the state just seizing property while law enforcement officials point to some archaic law while just “doing their jobs.” I meant that it’s sad that people in Delaware still think that they’re good at baskeball. Jeez, Delaware. Get with it. Read the rest of this entry »

After a losing decision from a panel of judges from the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals, the state of Delaware is now petitioning for its case to be heard by the entire Court, and not just by a smidgeon of judges.

The request comes two weeks after a three-judge Circuit Court panel in Philadelphia ruled Delaware’s sports-betting plan violated federal law. The ruling limited Delaware to allowing parlay betting on NFL games only. That wagering, which requires bettors to correctly predict the outcomes of at least three games, was launched at the state’s three horse racing track-based casinos last Thursday, the day the NFL regular season began. via.

Seven of the Court’s 12 judges must approve the petition…wait a second, seven of twelve?! How many judges does a federal circuit need? Are there even 12 people that live in the state of Delaware? But honestly, it’s ridiculous that you can bet on anything in Nevada, but you can’t bet anywhere else. It’s like Jack in the Box serving breakfast all day, but nobody else does. Although I’m not sure what Taco Bell would ever serve for breakfast, aside from day-old flan and a bottle of tequila.

Those of you hoping to lay down some sports betting in The First State this football season had better sit down. I should say “those of us,” actually: those great, visionary plans from the state of Delaware to offer single-game, multi-sport betting within its borders have been shot down in court.

A federal appeals court ruled Monday that sports betting in Delaware would violate a 1992 federal ban on such wagering, essentially halting the state’s plans to start taking bets next month.

Speaking for a three-judge panel, Judge Theodore McKee said Monday that the betting plan as currently envisioned violates the federal ban. A written opinion explaining the judges’ reasoning will be issued at a later date. via, via.

The unanimous ruling from the panel makes an appeal unlikely, which is a damn shame, because it seems like the federal government imposed the ban because they had nothing better to do. The leagues and the NCAA obviously oppose it; they’d rather see you spend $25 on a t-shirt than taking Boise State and the points. This truly is a sad day for America; I’ll just have to find some other medium to piss away my (not-so) hard-earned cash.

Apparently what will happen in Dover will stay in Dover, as the leagues of the four team sports and the NCAA won’t have their federal lawsuit heard before December. I could be spending Thanksgiving in Delaware, putting everything on whoever is playing Detroit that day. No, don’t tell me who it is! You’ll ruin the fun…

In a statement the leagues’ lawyer, Kenneth Nachbar, said: “We continue to oppose more legalized gambling on our games and we are evaluating our options.”

In Delaware, Gov. Jack Markell’s spokesman, Joe Rogalsky, said: “The state is moving forward with its plans to offer a full compliment of sports lottery options by the start of the NFL season Sept. 10. We look forward to a vindication of our position at trial in December.” via.

Frankly, I don’t give a damn what the pro leagues want; it’s more fun to wager money on your favorite team than it is to buy one of those ugly hats that the NFL seems to release every year. And somebody needs to explain to me how their product is hurt by more people becoming interested in the results of your events. And spare me the puritan trash about the one guy who wagers himself into oblivion because he has no self-control and Daddy didn’t love him enough or he has that really cool version of autism where he kicks ass at math and sucks at everything else. Besides, nothing would make me happier than to see the NFL, NBA, and NCAA not get their way for once. Those are the bastards that need to work on self-control issues.

The No Fun League is in the midst of setting up a counterattack to a decision from the Supreme Court of Delaware that will allow betting on single games or multi-game parlays in 2009, a decision which should be forever known as Stodgy Bastards v. Awesomeness. The NFL will likely focus its challenge to the single-game betting proposal that many aspiring degenerates would prefer.

“The clear preference for those who wager on sports is to bet on a single game,” says Anthony Cabot, a Las Vegas attorney who specializes in gaming law. “It’s far more popular than simply offering parlay cards.”

“They have several avenues they can take,” Cabot said. “One way is to attack its legality under the state constitution.”

The Delaware Supreme Court has ruled that a sports lottery is legal under the state constitution when “chance was the dominant, determining factor” in that betting system. In their May decision to keep the sports lottery intact, the current justices didn’t directly address single-game wagering. [via]

And now New Jersey has already filed suit in federal court in order for that state to enjoy the economic rewards of people making poorly-conceived sports prognostications. I never understood why everyone, state AND federal, didn’t just legalize gambling and then tax the hell out of it. You’ll get way more than the 40 percent you’re taking out of my paycheck, you limey bastards. Unless, of course, the Giants manage to cover. Stupid Giants. [via]

In a time where everyone’s trying to legalize gay marriage, the great state of Delaware is working to give rights to the everyman–specifically, legalizing sports gambling.

A reworked sports betting bill passed the Delaware House of Representatives early Friday, greatly improving the odds that the First State will become the only state east of the Mississippi to allow legal gambling on sporting events.

Under the new proposal, the racetrack/casinos will eventually be allowed to conduct table games — currently, only slot machines and other electronic gaming are allowed — and will see a larger share of sports betting revenues than what was initially proposed.

This thing will be totally above board until they start having the NBA All-Star game in Delaware. Delaware is only one of four states permitted by federal law to establish legal sports betting. Illegal sports betting, however, is legal in all the other states. But really, going to jail for gambling and taking a trip to Delaware are pretty much the same thing.

|the monolith|