Iowa City police officers were conducting an investigation on 21-year old Brady Johnson near the University of Iowa this week when they uncovered quite the Hawkeyes football scandal. Police had already suspected Brady as a possible drug dealer, but they ended up arresting his roommate, Derrell Johnson-Koulianos (no relation). DJK, as Iowa fans love to call him, is the all-time leading receiver in Hawkeye football history, and now he’s facing drug charges, too.

DJK admitted to police that he had been using marijuana and cocaine, as well as many prescription drugs that were seized, all of which was later confirmed by a drug test. He also admitted that he was aware that Brady may have been selling out of their home. I assume he didn’t know for sure because he was retardedly high.

So what can I get for $10, Press-Citizen?

Police said they found cocaine, small quantities of marijuana and Pamoate, Diazepam, Hydromorphone Hydrochloride and Zolpidem Tartrate pills in Johnson-Koulianos’ bedroom. Pamoate is one of the two formations of Hydroxyzine, an antihistamine used to treat mild anxiety, insomnia, motion-sickness, itching and allergies and is known as an effective sedative and tranquilizer. Diazepam is used to treat anxiety, insomnia and seizures. Hydromorphone Hydrochloride is a narcotic analgesic which Johnson-Koulianos allegedly told officers he takes to help with pain, according to police. Zolpidem Tartrate is used to treat insomnia.

Jesus, is this a drug arrest or a NOFX song?

DJK faces four counts of possession of a controlled substance, two counts of unlawful possession of prescription drugs and keeping a drug house, of which the latter sounds like a great idea for a Charlie Sheen movie.

Stick around for a collection of athlete mug shots after the jump…

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The second edition of DJ Steve Porter’s Press Hop was released last week, and Michelle Beadle makes a couple of appearances, which is good news for anyone who likes cute blondes who can talk sports. 90s era Mike Tyson and Deion Sanders also get some face time, which is good news for everyone.

Despite those advantages, I have to admit that the first version is better. There’s more of a reliance on the absurdity of the press conferences rather than the beat itself. That being said, how awesome are Lennox Lewis Mitch Green and Mike Tyson dressed? I guess that’s why boxing is going the way of the buffalo. Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Not that you weren’t already keenly aware of that fact.

While bringing some much-needed pinstriped style to NFL Network broadcasts, the former dual-threat is also introducing brand-spanking-new words to the lexicon. During a spirited panel discussion with Rich Eisen and Warren Sapp regarding Donovan McNabb’s trade to the Washington Redskins (video here), Deion, who undoubtedly questions the wisdom of the Eagles front office for trading McNabb to a team in its own division, could not think of an appropriate word to adequately describe his vexation with the move, so he made up one:

Shibacle.

“First of all, I gathered myself and sat down because I couldn’t believe that this was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life, except for that Herschel Walker ‘shibocle’ years ago. But you trade a guy in your own division that you got to see him twice, and you have [Kevin] Kolb, [LeSean] McCoy, [Jeremy] Maclin and DeSean Jackson – seven years amongst the complete trio of playmakers that you have for an 11-year guy that has taken you to five NFC championships and a Super Bowl. Man, are you kidding me?” -Moving the Chains.

Shibocle? I have to kindly disagree with the particular spelling chosen by the above writer – Pro Football Talk transcribes the term as “shibacle,” which I find to be much more accurate. With that in mind, it appears Deion’s contribution to the English language is some bizarre combination of the word “debacle” and something else. But what could it be? S**t? Shish, as in “I don’t mean to skewer the Philadelphia Eagles, but this trade was a shish kabob of a debacle,” which doesn’t make any more sense than shibacle, come to think of it. Jeez, all that work for nothing. How’s that for a travashamockery?

I think I know what’s going on here. Deion is obviously jealous of the attention former teammate Emmitt Smith garners for his unique grasp of the English language and felt now was the time to strike.

Mike Conley, Jr. hit a tough layup to give Ohio State its final lead against a stubborn Wisconsin team on Sunday, and — as Bill Simmons pointed out on his basketball blog — hoops skills run in the family. Even though Mike Conley, Sr. wasn't a pro cager, his skills as an Olympic gold medalist in the triple jump translated pretty well to this Foot Locker dunk contest of yesteryear.

Conley Sr's competition included Junior Griffey and Deion Sanders, and you know it was a long time ago, because they're both rocking Kid n Play fades, and Griffey doesn't pull a hamstring (that we can tell).