As FanHaus's Michael David Smith noted, Tony Kornheiser was enamored with the metaphor of Colts safety Bob Sanders being Chuck Norris.  MDS complains:

When Ron Jaworski mentioned that Sanders is a tough, physical player, Tony Kornheiser compared him to Chuck Norris. That was funny the first time. Less funny the second time. Not at all funny the third time. The fourth time I started…

"…angrily typing on my computer!" 

With Leather supports any and all Chuck Norris references throughout the world of sports, especially if they include him battling the freakish telekinetic powers of Bob Costas.  Besides, Sanders had a pretty measty night — he was all over the place, materializing from the ether to stuff the Jags' running game.  Also, his tears cure cancer.  Too bad he's never cried.

The Colts beat the Jaguars 29-7 last night behind the usual Peyton Manning precision-fest, plus an extra helping of stingy Indy D.  I can't say that it was really worth watching unless you're an Indianapolis fan — in which case, sorry your city blows so hard.

But, thanks to deviant rabble rouser Chris Mottram at Mr. Irrelevant, we have the only worthwhile highlight preserved on YouTube.  It's a fan performing foamilingus, and he seems pretty excited about the prospect of a thirty-inch vagina.  But then, who isn't excited by that?  Everyone?  Oh.

UPDATE: Big Daddy Drew has already dubbed them "Thunderlabia". Pretty sure that's already trademarked by Briana Banks.

Welp, Lil' Ronnie and that fat little tub of popcorn consumption are happy: the Colts beat up on the Saints 41-10 last night.  Peyton Manning is still the same freakish football robot, churning out touchdowns and commercials like arrest warrants for Bengals.  Manning went 18-30 for 288/3/0 last night while the Saints' heralded offensive stars, Drew Brees and Reggie Bush, combined for a California king full of feces, which is infuriating because — must… not… talk… about… fantasy team.

The other notable performance last night was by Saints corner Jason David.  He arrived in New Orleans via free agency after starting for the Colts in the Super Bowl, so you think he might have some kind of advantage against his former team, having practiced regularly against Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne.  Or, you know, maybe he got torched for three touchdowns.  (To his credit, he also forced a fumble and returned it for the only Saints TD.)  Which just further proves my theory: never trust someone with a first name for a last name.

I get a fair amount of hate mail.  Well, not so much hate mail as indignant mail.  "What's your problem with the South/St. Louis/Ohio/hookers?" they all say. (Note: I never get indignant mail from hipsters. It would require caring about something.)  The truth is, I've got nothing against any of those places or people.  I only really like to make fun of people who embrace their stereotype, thus reinforcing everyone's notion that a stereotype is the proper lens for viewing other people.

What I'm trying to say is that this pasty little Midwestern piglet at a Colts game disgusts me.  God, even his wrists are fat.  I can only hope heart disease outpaces medical technology in the coming years.

[Kissing Suzy Kolber] 

For all the Colts fans/book lovers out there.  Both of you.

Tony Dungy's book, Quiet Strength, will debut on the New York Times Bestsellers list on July 29 as #2 on the hardcover, nonfiction list. (The book was #35 on USA Today's "Top 150" list for July 19 and is #4 on this week's hardcover, nonfiction list in Publisher Weekly.) Written with Nathan Whitaker, the 2007 Super Bowl winning coach's book was released by Tyndale House on July 10, 2007 with a nine-day coast-to-coast media tour, plus a return visit to New York City where Dungy appeared [July 24] on CBS-TV's "The Late Show with David Letterman."

Quiet Strength, huh?  I guess someone already wrote "Winning the Super Bowl and Crusading Against Gay Rights for Dummies."  No, I'm just kidding.  I'm really happy for Tony.  It must have been hard to write a book.  It's so much effort to sit down and talk to someone, then make sure that that person got everything right after they sit down and type it all out.  I really respect that.

Ooh!  And a foreword by Denzel Washington!  I love his writing.  Maybe he had someone else do it for him, too. 

The Indianapolis Colts got their Super Bowl rings in a private ceremony, and they are symbolic works of art.

"It's more than a fine piece of jewelry," said team owner Jim Irsay, who issued about 275 of the rings to players, coaches, other members of his organization and a few close acquaintances at a private ceremony Wednesday evening at the posh Indiana Roof Downtown. "It represents so much more." 

There's the word "Faith'' on one shank, or side, of the ring. Faith "gives you the strength to have the perseverance to move forward even after many disappointments,'' Irsay explained. 

"Faith," as it turns out, is also Peyton Manning's and Marvin Harrison's favorite George Michael song.  They just can't believe he turned out to be gay.  I mean, who saw that coming?