DC United's Luciano Emilio Gonzalo Martinez took this laser from David Beckham directly to the groin during the second minute of yesterday's game at RFK, leaving the forward writhing on the pitch while Becks chuckled about destroying another man's genitalia. Which, when you think about it, is the only appropriate reaction.
[Update: basically, the rest of this post no longer makes sense.] However, the DC trainers must have poured some magic water down Emilio's shorts, because he stayed in the game to register two goals and an assist in United's 4-1 win over the Galaxy. Pretty impressive. I took a point-blank shot to the groin once while I was playing goalkeeper in an intramural league. Not only did I leave the game, I didn't even take a deep breath for the next week. I also cried myself to sleep that night. But, to be fair, that was more because I rented Finding Nemo.
David Beckham started his first game for the LA Galaxy at home against DC United yesterday, and the Overexposed One — oft-maligned for not playing while recovering from injuries to both ankles — for once did not disappoint, scoring on a free kick in the 27th minute in which he "bent it like a banana." He also assisted Landon Donovan's breakaway goal in the 47th minute, leading LandyCakes perfectly for what would be the deciding goal in a 2-0 victory in the SuperLiga semifinals.
Fans cheered and women screamed as Beckham prepared to take a 26-yard free kick. After he connected inside the left post, he was mobbed by teammates.
Man, it's just so nice to see a true underdog like David Beckham find success after such a long, hard road. You don't really expect an under-the-radar guy like him to be adored by both teammates and women, but that just makes it more heartwarming. Kinda like Rudy, if Rudy were sexy and rich and famous and named captain of the team before he ever played a game for Notre Dame.
David Beckham made his debut for the L.A. Galaxy last night, entering the game in the 72nd minute with his team trailing D.C. United and down a man due to an earlier red card. As expected, his mobility was somewhat limited, but he showed flashes of the precision ball placement that once made him one of the best players in the world.
He supplied a little composure and one particularly sweet pass to Landon Donovan, but the abundance of weak links around him was too much to overcome as the Galaxy fell, 1-0… [In the 87th minute] Beckham's weighted ball from midfield nearly put Donovan through along the left side. United goalkeeper Troy Perkins was off his line aggressively, spilling Donovan while winning the risky challenge. Still, Beckham's pass was telling.
This is an outrage! I don't want to read about sellout crowds at MLS games and David Beckham's competitive fire raising the level play, dammit. I thought this coming-to-America thing was all about shopping on Rodeo Drive and sexy photo shoots and his wife's fake tits. Especially his wife's fake tits. What a crock.
[Photo by Eric McErlain before the game]
This is going to sound crazy, but I don't read Cosmo, and I pay only slightly more attention to the MLS. However, some digging around on the D.C. Sports Bog showed me that Bobby Boswell, MLS's defender of the year, has entered the magazine's creepily titled "Man Hunt" to become Cosmo's Bachelor of the Year. And lo, he's already been selected to the final 50, having been chosen as Virginia's representative.
How did he do it? Well, this humorous video certainly had a hand in it (though I couldn't help but notice that Bobby doesn't mention getting his ass kicked by a girl on Nickelodeon's "GUTS").
NOTE: Your WL editor did not enter the competition; it would have been unfair to everyone else.
Manchester United, AKA the New York Yankees of the English Premier League, have confirmed their interest in 17-year-old DC United striker Freddy Adu. The Washington Post broke the story first, and D.C. Sports Bog's Dan Steinberg has the full run-down of events.
What's confusing is that, after the Post's Steven Goff reported that Adu would go to England for a two-week trial, Man U denied the story. And now today they've switched course and are confirming it.
What are they, twelve? "Man U has a crush on Freddy!" "Nuh-uh! Teacher! The media's reporting things that are true again!"
Those wonky Brits'll drive me barmy. If they're arse over tit for our lad, just say so. No need to feed us a load of codswallop.
