Last week, rapper 50 Cent started our Monday off with a chuckle after video, GIFs, pictures, memes and whatever else hit these bloggywebbytubes, featuring the occasional rapper and hilariously awful actor trying to get some sugar with FOX reporter Erin Andrews. Of course, Mr. Curtis Jackson saw Andrews in the infield at Daytona 500 and he did what most frat boys have only dreamed of by trying to kiss her. Andrews dodged the kiss with her attractive, blonde, dancer ninja skills and the rest is GIFtory.

Obviously, Andrews has a well-documented history of problems with invasions of privacy, so while some of us laughed, others shook their fists in rage and said, “How dare you laugh, this poor woman is a victim.” But it turns out that Andrews wasn’t a victim and the whole thing was actually her fault. So I guess you all owe 50 Cent an apology now.

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50 Cent’s new album “Street King Immortal” was set to be released tomorrow after several setbacks in 2012, but it seems that it has been pushed back once again to a tentative release date of “whenever the f*ck it happens”. This is worth mentioning because aside from beefing with Floyd Mayweather Jr. and starring in crappy energy shot commercials with Joan Rivers, I can’t figure out why the hell 50 Cent is being invited to huge events like the Daytona 500, but sure enough he was there yesterday and he was as poignant as ever.

Mr. Cent started his day by Tweeting that he couldn’t find any black people at the race, and everyone laughed because that joke is fresh. But to his credit, he at least set the race as a top priority, and he made that perfectly clear to his biggest fans…

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Now that Danica Patrick has won the pole for the 2013 Daytona 500 this Sunday on Fox, the media can begin this season’s most common pre-race question: “Will Danica Patrick become the first woman to win the Daytona 500?” And then it will be asked at the next race, the race after that and so on, because until she wins a race, it will be the easiest question a NASCAR writer can write. Seriously, I could wake up, write it on a napkin, and sleep four more hours before I even had to be up for brunch at Hooters.

But over the past three months, a few people have been asking a much different and somewhat more intriguing question: “Can a woman hang with a NASCAR pit crew?” For as long as stock car racing’s grandest stage has existed, everything from the steering wheel to the impact wrench has belonged (mostly) to men, and as Patrick looks to change that on Sunday, another woman wants to change pit crews forever as well.

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This year’s Daytona 500 was undoubtedly one of the strangest in recent memory. For starters, there was that whole 36-hour delay and holding it on a Monday night for the first time in history. But between the multiple crashes in Saturday’s Nationwide race, the crash in the opening of the 500 and Juan Pablo Montoya inexplicably flying into a track dryer/jet engine, the entire weekend felt like one really bad Days of Thunder remake. Except this one didn’t feature Nicole Kidman screaming, “LET ME OUT OF THE CAH, COLE!” or end with Tom Cruise running like a sissy.

But it did end with people wondering, WTF is up with Danica Patrick? The not-really-first lady of racing wrecked three times during the 500 weekend events, including both the Nationwide and main races. So what the hell happened, DP?

“I just wish the beginning of the race could have been a nice single-file line like it was when I got back out there, but it wasn’t,” Patrick said. “And honestly, that’s my lesson to learn, maybe. Write off that first little bit if you’re not up front.”

“I would have loved to have run up there. I would have loved to have got the experience when you actually were racing for positions as opposed to just feeling it out,” Patrick said. “But I truly believe everything happens for a reason.”(Via CBS Sports)

That’s a good outlook, I suppose, but she crashed three times. This was supposed to be her big chance – her first Daytona 500 – to hang with the boys and take one giant leap forward for women in racing. But if everything happens for a reason, I think someone is trying to tell Danica to tighten her HANS device, because it’s gonna be a long year.

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After a 36-hour delay and what felt like 36 caution flags, Matt Kenseth was finally declared the winner of the 2012 Daytona 500 after he held off the feisty Dale Earnhardt, Jr., but nobody really cares about that, because DID YOU SEE THAT CRASH??? Juan Pablo Montoya inexplicably slammed into a track dryer truck, which is, of course, just a giant jet engine. So Montoya’s crash led to quite the toasty bonfire. Thankfully, neither Montoya nor the driver of the truck were severely harmed.

But out of a massive inferno rises a different kind of winner – aside from, you know, Kenseth who won the race and all – as driver Brad Keselowski became the first NASCAR driver to ever Tweet a race photo from inside his car. Keselowski Tweeted a cell phone pic of his view of Montoya’s crash and it resulted in him gaining 100,000 followers within an hour. Damn, son. That’s exposed breast followers right there.

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On tonight’s show:

- Finally, The Rock, HAS COME BACK … to Portland. The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland, everybody!

- Triple H and The Undertaker continue their catch-as-catch-can verbal exchanges to build to their epic three-match at Wrestlemania. What’ll come off first, Triple H’s tie or the Undertaker’s bald cap? Stay tuned!

- John Cena almost misses the show to be the Grand Wizard (or whatever) at the rain-delayed Daytona 500, so hopefully his plane will arrive as scheduled and we won’t have to cart out Heath Slater or whoever tonight to call Eve a stupid bitch.

- Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk Champion vs. Champion may happen on the third consecutive show, and I am completely fine with that.

Remember, the top 10 comments from tonight’s open discussion thread will be featured as my fave five in tomorrow’s Best and Worst Of WWE Raw report. That makes you an Internet celebrity by proxy!

Also something to remember: To nominate a comment for one of the top 10 of the night, be sure to reply with +1. That’ll make it easier for me to differentiate between the 2,000-or-so comments that are left.

Poll time: