File this one under “Duhhhhhhhhhhh” and cross-reference it with “Seriously, no sh*t, guys.” Earlier this month, we brought you the rumor that NBA commissioner and future Del Boca Vista resident David Stern could possibly be considering selling ad space on NBA jerseys the same way that he already does with the WNBA. And by “possibly be considering” I mean he is definitely already planning on it. When you openly admit that 22 of the teams in your league lost money last year, you’re probably going to do anything short of giving handies at a truck stop to make ends meet.

Thankfully, for anyone who didn’t think this was an inevitability, John Q. Businessman, AKA Mark Cuban, is here to draw it out for us in gigantic letters.

“I’ve been trying to tell [the NBA],” Cuban said. “If someone wants to give us $10 million, I’ll make it happen.”

“If the amount’s enough, David will jump up and down,” Cuban said. “He’s not going to do it for $200,000 from Power Balance, but if somebody offers us $25 million, it’s done.

“We just have to work out the split with all the teams so everybody gets the benefits.” (Via the Star-Telegram, H/T to Hardball Talk)

Um, I never actually took any business classes in college, but what is there to work out? There are 30 teams, so the revenue would be split 30 ways. Well, it will be split once Stern takes the NBA’s 90% cut, or something to that effect, but after that it would just be a 30-way split.

That is, unless they’re going to start fighting over finder’s fees, which is partially absurd, but I also kind of understand where they’d be coming from. After all, Donald Sterling can only turn down FUBU’s money so many times before the rest of the owners voice their displeasure.

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ROFLMNBAO: Kobe’s Black Mask, 2012-2012 - If you missed yesterday’s feature, you missed out on Kobe as the Hamburglar. That’s not a thing you should be missing. [With Leather]

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Dear David Stern, Stare Downs Aren’t Worth Techs - They should start giving technical fouls for “being excited” and make everyone play with their arms down to their sides. [Smoking Section]

What The Hell Is All This ‘#Kony2012′ Crap About? - It’s a viral ad campaign to get my teenage cousin super into defending the planet against monsters, at least until next week when she forgets she learned about it. [UPROXX]

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Matches We Loved 2011: Part II - If you read part one, THIS one actually features me. My match features wardrobe malfunctions, but not the ones you’re imagining. [DirtyDirtySheets]

Coors Is Going To Start Making Iced Tea Flavored Beer - Great, another disgusting thing for me to not drink! [Buzzfeed]

Rush Limbaugh vs. Inspirational Feminist Quotes - The next time anyone (“right” or “left”) says something inflammatory to get publicity, we should say, “whatever, you’re paid by people to be inflammatory and get publicity, we’re ignoring you”, put them in a box, ship them to Siberia and move the hell on. [HuffPost Comedy]

10 Weirdest ‘Animals Eating Themselves’ Pictures Ever - Nothing makes that pork chop taste better than imagining the pig happily slaughtering itself! [The FW]

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Our 10 Favorite Adam Sandler Leading Ladies in Movies - #1-10: Jill. #11, whoever was in Little Nicky. [Unreality]

With the NBA trade deadline just 7 days away, all of the media’s focus is on the big market teams and their needs, which begs the question – which chump teams are gonna get fleeced? The quick answer: probably none. The Orlando Magic currently have the 5th best record in the entire league, which absolutely baffles me after watching them stand still and take it hard against the 4-win Charlotte Bobcats the other night, but then that’s how the wonderful world of sports works. So they’re most likely not trading Dwight Howard, and every other team is stuck waiting to see what happens with that to make their own moves. Classic log jam, folks.

Common sense says that Orlando won’t get a Denver Nuggets-type haul at the deadline, so that means the Magic instead want to move some of their crap for another team’s lesser crap. Meanwhile, Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers sure could use some help, as could pretty much any team that isn’t the Chicago Bulls, Oklahoma City Thunder, San Antonio Spurs or Miami Heat. Face it, your team is pretty much screwed.

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LOL, metaphors.

Last season, the NBA claimed that 22 of the teams had lost money, and now the league and commissioner David Stern have revealed that the majority of teams will again lose their butts in 2012. Thankfully, the result won’t be another lockout, because profits aren’t expected to increase for three more years. Well, fingers crossed anyway.

Unfortunately, there will be repercussions as the league and owners of the small and middle market teams that seem to be bleeding the most cash struggle to find the best idea on how to make some extra coin while remaining competitive. First up? Selling ad space on team jerseys. Hell, the WNBA already started, so why wouldn’t the owners put that on the agenda for next month’s meeting?

A study released last year by Horizon Media calculated that a brand logo across the middle of an NBA team’s jersey occupying 3.5 percent of the TV screen would produce $31.18 million in exposure value.

However, the study did not factor in ancillary exposure on highlights and news shows, nor did it account for any online exposure.

“Jersey ads are one of the last pieces of inventory that club marketers haven’t been able to sell, and for a local sponsor they could be a real boon, since it would give them exposure with a team at home and away,” said Michael Neuman, managing partner of Horizon’s Scout Sports and Entertainment. (Via Sporting News)

A lot of people are going to roll their eyes at this inevitable evolutionary step in sports business, but it’s really not that bad. In fact, I spoke with some league insiders who already had the prototype for the league’s first advertising deals, and the jersey really doesn’t look that bad at all…

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"Who you tryin' to get crazy with, Twitter? Don't you know I'm loco?"

There was already a week’s worth of backlash in the media over David Stern* blocking the trade between the New Orleans Hornets and the Los Angeles Lakers that would have teamed Chris Paul with Kobe Bryant by the time that the league announced that Paul had instead been traded to the L.A. Clippers. But yesterday began the entertaining backlash that I had been waiting for, as Lakers fans started their campaign of “Stern hates us, we got screwed.” It’s adorable, really, watching so many people hilariously ignore why Pau Gasol is even a Laker in the first place.

Then last night someone on my Twitter feed retweeted Ice Cube echoing that sentiment, that the Lakers have been screwed because Stern wouldn’t allow the Lakers to get Paul for dirt cheap while making the Houston Rockets do all the heavy lifting. While Cube failed to mention that the Clippers gave up a wealth of talent in Eric Gordon and one of the most valuable 2012 draft picks (Minnesota’s), he did continue on with a rant about how the Lakers own the Clippers and Kobe and Co. will still win another title this year.

You can read his Twitter rant after the jump, and I took the liberty of incorporating his Tweets with my favorite Ice Cube photos. Very funny.

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In what I would think is a pretty cool effort to show love to some people who suffer so much, the Los Angeles Clippers sent Blake Griffin, DeAndre Jordan and Eric Gordon on a bus ride with a group of season ticket holders. Together, they could embrace the legacy of Donald Sterling and gently weep into each other’s arms.

Then a funny thing happened. The Clippers and the New Orleans Hornets agreed to a trade involving Chris Paul – again – and after a conference call with Hornets GM Dell Demps, David Stern actually approved it. That’s right, Chris Paul has finally been traded. And that’s awesome for Griffin and Jordan, who chest bumped each other on the bus after someone announced the news that they acquired Paul for Chris Kaman, Al-Farouq Aminu, Minnesota’s unprotected first round pick in the 2012 draft and… Gordon.

Yikes.

In case you’re wondering, yes, the Los Angeles Lakers are furious over the Clippers getting Paul. As the L.A. Times points out, everyone is talking about the Clippers right now and dreaming of the amazing alley oops that we’re going to see for Griffin this year. But the Lakers, they were supposed to have Paul and Kobe Bryant while shedding everyone but Andrew Bynum so they could also get Dwight Howard. Now, unless they give up their stance and agree to send Bynum and Pau Gasol to the Orlando Magic (spoiler: they will!) the Lakers will be scrambling to start rebuilding soon.

See? The lockout fixed everything. The Lakers are doomed and the small market Clippers have a chance to succeed now. Hooray David Stern, champion of equality!